


Kairos

by orphan_account



Series: the beautiful and the profound (words) [10]
Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alpha!Tyler, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Human!Josh, M/M, Slow Burn, Werewolves, i'll add more tags later bc honestly idk wtf im doing, its good i promise just read it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2018-10-01 17:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 52,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10195646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: (n.) the perfect, delicate, crucial moment; the fleeting rightness of time and place that create the opportune atmosphere for action, words, or movement.aka the one where Josh can't afford his textbooks, works two jobs and just wants to give up and Tyler's a natural born leader, with money, and a dark secret. Tyler really just wants to protect Josh, and Josh would just like some answers if he's honest.





	1. Teaser

**Author's Note:**

> hello, yes im aware that im starting a new fic without finishing the others, bc im trash like that. I have three essay due in like 5 days so instead of stressing im writing this lord help me. Anyways enjoy, this may turn kinda a/b/o later on but im not sure bc im not even sure if im gonna put smut in this yet. i'm very excited for this fic tho okay so enjoy! :)

Tyler was staring at him again. He could feel his gaze piercing through the back of his head and it made the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. He shivered involuntarily before turning around and glaring at the raven-haired boy. Tyler continued to stare, as though looking straight through him and the boy whimpered and ducked his head as he turned back around. Only then did Tyler look away.

Josh watched the whole exchange with a sense of bewilderment, _what was that?!_

He was interrupted by the teacher’s melodic call of his name.

"Huh?" He said his gaze snapping back to the front of the classroom. He gulped as he felt Tyler turn to look at him curiously.

"Welcome back Mr. Dun." Half the class sniggered at the remark while Josh blushed. "Would you mind naming me one of the Grimm's fairy tales?"

Josh panicked, he couldn't afford half of his textbooks this year and he was still working to pay for his English books, he had barely managed to get a copy of ‘All My Sons’ in time for the midterm but the fairy tales were almost 4 times as expensive. Josh stuttered embarrassed that he couldn't think of one of the stories.

"Red riding hood." A raspy voice spoke up. Josh jumped, turning to make eye contact with the speaker.

"Thank you Mr. Joseph. But next time let the other student answer." She gave him a stern look before turning back to the board, everyone else looking back at their books, missing the way Tyler practically snarled at her. Josh just gaped at him, until he looked at Josh again, Josh only blushed and looked back at his desk instead.

As the class was dismissed Josh chased after Tyler who was walking quickly towards his next class.

"Thank you for uh, earlier in class." Josh said awkwardly struggling to keep up as he pulled hoodie on, while holding his backpack.

"Why don't you have a copy of the book?" Tyler replied sounding irritated.

"Oh, you noticed that?" Josh said embarrassed, Tyler simply kept walking. Josh gulped but kept pace. "I-I can't afford it yet." He said his whole face blushing red. 

Tyler stopped walking abruptly to look at Josh.  He reached into his bag and pulled out his copy of the book. He thrust it into Josh's hands.

"There, problem solved." Tyler gave a forced smile before turning on his heel and walking away, leaving Josh completely confused and clutching the book to his chest.


	2. Diner

The sound of the book slapping down onto the desk caused most students in the math class to turn and look at Josh standing over Tyler's desk. A few of Tyler's friends eyed him curiously.

"I can't take this, thank you but I'm not a charity case, I don't like owing people things, so keep it okay?" Josh sighed before walking away not allowing Tyler to respond.

Tyler shrugged and put the book back in his bag. 

 

Josh would like to say that was the last he thought about it, but he’d be lying. He couldn’t stop thinking about how Tyler Joseph the broody jock had just up and handed him his textbook like it was nothing, like they were _friends_. The concept made him almost angry, Tyler had done nothing but stare at him in classes, he was quiet and kept to himself and his jock friends. The way they followed him around like lost puppies and just did everything he said like the sun shone out of his ass made Josh want to roll his eyes so hard they’d probably get stuck in the back of his head. 

Not that Josh was bitter, _oh no_. It wasn’t like his close friend Brendon had gone missing at the beginning of the school year for a few days and then when he came back he suddenly didn’t have time for Josh, following Tyler like a mindless sheep. It was like he was possessed and honestly Josh missed his best friend more than he’d like to admit. 

So yes, maybe Josh hated Tyler “basketball captain” Joseph for stealing his best friend, and treating him like he felt sorry for him one minute and staring at him like he was about to eat him the next. No matter how perfect his nose was or how his slightly crooked teeth were endearing, and how cute his smile was when it caused a little dimple on his left cheek. Josh shook his head, he was pathetic, he was letting the fact that Tyler was –to him at least- attractive cloud the fact that he was a rude, moody asshole. 

“Josh? You okay?” Josh snapped his attention back to the present. 

“Wha-oh.” He looked down at the overflowing coffee mug. He immediately stopped pouring, rushing to mop up the mess as a disgruntled customer shifted away from the puddle. “Sorry, I’m so sorry.” His co-worker Debby laughed. 

“Someone’s out of it today huh?” Josh felt his cheeks heat up but he focused on getting a new cup of coffee for the gentlemen on the other side of the counter.   
Debby sighed as she rested back against the counter, elbows propping her up as she picked at her chipped black nail polish. “I don’t blame you this diner is always so dead on Tuesdays; do you think that’s why they just leave it to us?”

Josh continued wiping down the counter as he grunted in agreement, surveying the diner which currently had a total of four customers. The gentlemen at the counter, a middle-aged couple in a booth in the far corner and another elderly gentleman, struggling to chew his fries, in one of the other booths. Josh winced. 

Before either one could say anything, the diner door burst open and large group of teens filed in immediately filling up a booth and pulling chairs from the tables to help with the overflow. 

“All yours buddy.” Debby smiled with a pat on his back as she headed towards the back, probably to warn the chef. 

Josh swallowed the lump in his throat as he felt a familiar piercing gaze but he forced himself to stand up straight before approaching the table. 

“What can I get you guys?” Josh asked with a faked smile, looking anywhere but at Tyler sat in the middle of the booth. 

All eyes turned towards Tyler as though waiting for him to order first, Josh couldn’t pretend it wasn’t the weirdest thing he’d ever seen. Tyler seemed to shrink under the stares for a second before mumbling out his order, then everyone else looked back at Josh shouting orders at him that he was quick to scribble down. 

He was thankful when Debby helped him prepare and carry over their drinks. “So what’s with that?” Debby murmured, nodding her head at the rowdy group, not looking up as she checked the cash register. 

“I don’t know but they’re the same at school.” Josh shrugged. 

“You go to school with them?” Debby scoffed, “Tough luck buddy.” She ruffled his hair before heading over to clean tables, leaving Josh to mope and try to smooth down his unruly curls. A few more customers came in but Tyler’s group stuck around for a long time, despite practically swallowing their burgers whole. 

“So how long have you worked here?” Tyler’s voice caused Josh to look up from where he was refilling a salt shaker, startled at how close he was now that he was leaning across the counter. 

“Since beginning of last summer.” Josh answered, raising an eyebrow. “Why?”

Tyler furrowed his brow as though he wasn’t expecting the question. “I just, I knew you worked at Guitar Centre so I wondered how long you’d been working two jobs.” 

Tyler shrugged as though that was a highly normal statement to make, which, considering they weren’t friends and Tyler already had the creepy stare down, was not. 

“How did you know I worked at Guitar Centre?” Josh asked confused. 

Tyler went wide eyed for a second, suddenly fingers fidgeting with Josh’s pen that he’d left with his pad on the counter top. He looped it over his thumb continuously as both boys stared transfixed. 

“I saw you working there once, asked around ‘sall, sorry.” Tyler blushed. Josh just nodded not taking his eyes off the pen. Suddenly Tyler stopped twirling it to look up at him, their eyes meeting. 

“Do you get to keep your tips?” Josh stared confused before he processed the question. He shrugged. 

“Yeah, well, I have to split it with Debs,” He gestured towards his friend who was placing a milkshake down in front of a little girl with blonde pigtails. “but I don’t make many.”

Tyler seemed to mull something over before taking a few bills out his pocket and placing them in the tip jar. They’d already paid for their food, so Josh had no solid reason to stop him as he turned to leave. As predictable as ever, upon seeing Tyler head for the exit his entire group of teens he’s brought with him immediately headed for the exit, crowding him as they continue to shout playful insults and laugh. 

Josh stared with his mouth open as Debby fished the cash out the tip jar.

“Dude he just tipped a hundred bucks.” She said counting it again to double check. She pushed Josh’s jaw up forcing him to close his mouth, before pinching his cheek playfully.

“Nice work Joshie!” she teased before handing him 70 bucks. Josh looked at the cash before mentally doing the math. He turned to correct her when she held up a finger to silence him. “That tip was yours.” She said.

Josh hugged her appreciatively before a new customer entered the diner and he was grabbing his pad to take their order only to see a number scribbled onto the pad, a phone number. Josh ripped the page off and pocketed it before going about his job.


	3. Library

Josh texted the number when he got off work, but he didn't get a reply. He didn't sleep much, his mind racing.

The next day at school Tyler was back to his usual withdrawn self. His gaze still bore into Josh but he didn't say anything this time.

It was a week later when he finally spoke to Josh, cornering him at his locker.

"You didn't buy the book why?" Tyler's intense gaze searched Josh for the answer, brow furrowed in confusion.

"You didn't text me back." Was all Josh said, eyes tired as he slowly pulled his books out of his locker. Tyler sniffed, shifting uncomfortably.

"Sorry." Tyler said quickly. "But you didn't answer my question." He pressed.

Josh sighed. "No I didn't buy the book because I don't want your money, you can't buy me Tyler." Josh snapped.

"Stop being stubborn and buy the book, or buy another textbook. I don't care." Tyler said, histone authoritative.

"Listen, your God Complex might work on your team but I'm not taking money from you, you've never once even talked to me until a week ago." Josh let out an exasperated sigh, he ran a hand over his face but the motion only caused him to feel dizzy.

"You're gonna get sick if you're not careful." Tyler warned a firm grip on Josh's arm to hold him steady. Josh only ripped his arm from his grasp.

"Stop acting like you care, or like we're friends or something. I don't understand why you're so interested in me all of a sudden." Josh snapped, Tyler only gave a solemn nod.

"Sorry." Tyler said but Josh was already walking out of ear shot.

-

Josh could feel Tyler staring at him from across the parking lot as he climbed into his battered pick-up. Josh wanted nothing more than to just drive off but he knew he had to wait for his sister.

Before she could even get her seatbelt on Josh was pulling out of the lot, suppressing a shiver as Tyler's eyes followed him.

"Josh chill out, I know its Friday but it's not like we have anything other than work to get to."

"Sorry." Was all Josh said before turning out of the school entrance and heading home.

After a painfully long shift at Guitar Centre Josh flopped straight down onto his bed without even changing out of his uniform. Passing out with his name badge digging into his chest.

He woke in the middle of the night to the wind howling outside his window and he noticed his curtains were open his light still on, groggily he pulled his clothes off so he was in just his boxers, before approaching the window. He froze as he was about to close the curtains, a dark shadow seemed to move out by the edge of the forest his yard backed on to. Josh felt terror shoot up his spine his anxiety flaring, quickly he scrambled to turn the light off to get a better look out the window.

He almost yelped as he was met by a pair of glowing red eyes in the distance, watching him. Unable to breathe Josh pulled the curtains shut and pulled his shaking body into bed.

 _Just your mind playing tricks on you because you're tired Josh, it wasn't real. Wasn't real. Wasn't real._ He told himself over and over but it didn't make it any easier for him to fall asleep.

-

"Josh?" Josh looked up at the familiar voice, a million memories all flooding back to him as he looked up at his ex best friend.

"What do you want Brendon?" Josh closed the math book he was using, his free periods were the only chance he got to go to the library and use the textbooks he didn't have his own copies of to do his homework.

Brendon awkwardly sat opposite him, rubbing his sweaty palms together. "Josh, I'm sorr-"

"I don't want to hear it anymore Bren, you ignored me for months, go back to your friends." Josh replied irritated, he was always exhausted and it was really ruining his temper.

"We were friends once." Brendon said sadly rubbing at some graffiti on the library table.

"Yeah, and then you started following Tyler around like you're his slave and forgot i even existed." Josh sighed. Suddenly he didn't feel very well, he began packing away his things.

"Josh it's not like that, ther-theres things you cant understand-"

"Try me." Josh stood up zipping up his backpack and winging it over his shoulder. Brendon stood up at the same time, their eyes met and Brendon looked like he was genuinely considering telling him before he resigned, shoulders slumping breaking the eye contact to look down at the floor. "Shouldve known." Josh muttered before heading to the correct shelf to put the math book away.

"Tyler isn't a bad guy ya know?" Brendon spoke up following Josh, Josh didn't bother to turn around or slow down he simply rolled his eyes. "He just wanted to help you like- with- after everything."

Josh shoved the book in its slot before rounding on brendon anger bubbling in his chest. "You have the audacity to tell someone about my life, and for what? so they'll feel sorry for me?" Josh felt the pain in his chest and the sting in his nose that told him he was gonna cry. He pushed past Brendon. "I hate you." He said and Brendon's whole frame crumpled in defeat. "You don't get to tell people about my private life Brendon, as if i actually told myself i missed you." Josh poked a finger at him before shaking his head in disgust and walking away.

"What did you say to Brendon?"

"Hi Josh, how are you today, Josh? Well, pretty shitty actually, Tyler because i haven't slept in days, i spend all my time working and my ex best friend likes sharing my business with asshole strangers who wont leave me alone but ya know i'm sure i'll be okay." Josh shrugged as Tyler watched on with an almost amused expression, eye brow raised and arms folded.

"Josh, i tried to warn you, you were gonna burn yourself out." Tyler pulled up the chair and sat next to Josh at his lunch table. Josh wanted to protest but he always ate alone and he was starting to feel a little pathetic now that Brendon had left him. 

"Please don't make me talk about it." Josh gripped his water bottle hard, hearing it crackle as it was squashed. He knew he was so close to tears and he hated it, he hadn't cried in a long time, he'd done everything to suppress it but he was tired and wrung out and for whatever reason Tyler's hand was rubbing slow circles on his back that made him feel safer than he'd felt in a long time. 

"Brendon didn't tell me much, just that you were going through a hard time and had money troubles, he didn't even want to tell me that but i kind of forced it out of him." Tyler said quietly and Josh turned to look at him. He was too close to Tyler's face, he willed the nagging voice in his head that said he cares or the one accompanying it that reminded him how beautiful his big brown doe eyes were. 

"Tell Brendon, that i could never hate him, i'm sorry." Josh said as he began collecting up his lunch and bag and getting as far away from Tyler as possible. 

On his way home from a late shift at the diner, he felt sure he heard a wolf howling, he was also pretty sure someone was watching him but he couldn't see anything. He woke the next morning to the lingering picture of piercing red eyes watching him.


	4. Locker Room

Josh felt sluggish, like every movement of his muscles was like wading through thick mud in summer heat. He was exhausted, heavy dark bags under his eyes, he ignored some older kids who laughed at his zombie like state. His bones felt like they were made of lead, the emotional heaviness he'd felt ever since he had glanced at the calendar refused to lift. His mother had told his siblings to stay home but Josh and Ashley had insisted on attending school, Ashley having a test and Josh already too far behind to afford it.

"Josh?" The voice sounded familiar but Josh didn't recognise it at first, it was too timid, not like its usual loud boisterous manor. Slowly Josh looked up from his locker, where he was mindlessly sorting books. (He'd managed to find an online version of the Grimm's fairy tales and so split Tyler's money across two other textbooks he desperately needed, stubbornness finally caving to necessity.)

"Are you okay?" Brendon's eyes were searching Josh's, his brow furrowed in worry.

"Fine." Josh snapped, exhausted and barely holding it together.

"Josh I-" 

"Not today Brendon, I can't do this today." Josh cut him off, slamming his locker shut and heading off to the class, dragging his feet as he did so. He ducked his head down as he passed Tyler who was watching him, as usual. He was not going to enjoy today.

Josh made it through his first two periods, his notes were half-assed and he spent more time wishing he was asleep than listening. It was third period, English where he snapped.

He was writing the date in the corner of his notebook, staring at the date like a car crash, brutal, painful but impossible to look away from.

"Hansel and Gretel are abandoned by their father, the first thing we're going to discuss is why their parents would leave them stranded, and the different interpretations of this..." The teacher droned on to the bored class, but the words eat away at Josh, his eyes filling with tears.

The wall he'd been patching the holes in all day finally caved. Josh stood up, his chair scraping loudly, all eyes turned to him.

"I-I'm sorry." He said breathlessly, his whole sense of reality swirling away. He ran from the classroom. He ran until he couldn't breathe anymore, he made it all the way to the locker rooms and then he collapsed to the ground, sobbing hard as he slumped back against the cooling metal of the lockers.

He sat for what felt like years, sobbing hard and begging the pain in his chest to subside, gulping in air desperately.

He didn't hear another person enter the locker room until his backpack was being placed in front of him, he looked up to see Tyler. He wiped at his cheeks and sniffed hard.

"Thanks."

Tyler said nothing only nodded before sitting cross legged beside Josh against the lockers.

"Today marks a year." Josh said after an incredibly long silence. His eyes red raw and cheeks puffy.

Cautiously Tyler squeezed a hand over Josh's knee.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Josh shook his head, the tightness in his chest threatening to rise like a lump in his throat that choked him.

"Brendon hasn't said anything, he never told me, he just said today was gonna be really tough." Tyler said squeezing Josh's thigh reassuringly. "Josh i know you don't want to see it, but he cares so much, _i_ care. i want to be your friend Josh. stop pushing people away because you’re hurting."

Josh let out a strangled cry and burrowed his head into Tyler's shoulder, instantly Tyler wrapped his arms around him. Instinctively he began stroking Josh's hair as Josh cried some more, soothing him.

After Josh didn't seem to be much calmer Tyler spoke up. "What do you need, what can i do to help?" He felt helpless, desperately wishing Josh's pain would dissipate even if just for a moment.

"Ash-Ashley." Josh forced out the words through sobbed hiccups. "I-I need my sister."

Tyler nodded, stroking Josh's hair again. "Okay I’m gonna call Brendon and get him to bring her here okay, I’ll get her here, i promise." Without thinking Tyler placed a soft kiss to Josh's forehead, Josh too upset to feel embarrassed at the gesture or to say anything. He relaxed a bit as he heard Tyler's phone ringing. Tyler felt so warm, he hadn't even realised he'd practically been curled up in his lap, his head on Tyler's shoulder. He focused on the softness of Tyler's hoodie or the way his fingers were gently tracing up and down Josh's spine and before he could stop himself his felt his breathing even out.

Josh was awoken by Tyler's soft nudging.

He blinked his eyes open, whole face flushing when he realised he'd exhausted himself to sleep in the boy’s arms.

"Josh?" His sister's voice cracked and instantly Josh was moving off Tyler's lap to let his sister hug him, she instantly started crying and it caused what few tears Josh had left to fall down his cheeks.

Josh wiped his sisters tears away gently. "He's in a better place now, he-he wouldn't want us to be sad like this." She said softly and Josh nodded, taking a shuddering breath.

"Josh," Tyler said timidly, standing up, Josh almost whined as he felt Tyler's heat leave his side. "I think maybe you two should take the rest of the day off." He smiled comfortingly and Josh realised he'd never seen Tyler smile like that, it made his eyes crinkle slightly and a small dimple appear in his left cheek, something stirred in Josh’s chest akin to fondness. He swallowed the thought before nodding and letting Ashley pull him to his feet. 

-

 _hope you’re feeling better._

Josh stared at the text, a rush of emotions trying to bounce around his skull, he was too exhausted to cling on to any single one for more than a minute, so he simply watched blankly as his phone got bored of him doing nothing and turned the screen off.

Tyler had never text him before, not even when Josh had tried to initiate conversation. 

He thought back to their earlier conversation. Tyler’s light kiss to his forehead. Josh blushed and finally typed a reply. 

_Thanks. Sorry about earlier, did not mean to pass out on you.._

Josh had expected to be ignored again, to wait up half the night for nothing until pure exhaustion won out like always and he finally fell asleep. He did not expect to see Tyler’s name flash up on the screen as an incoming call. 

Cautiously he answered it. 

“Hello?”

“Hey.” Tyler’s voice sounded as though he was smiling. “You’re not at work right?”

“Uh no, I’m at home why?” Josh sat back on his bed, head hitting the wall with a dull thud.

“Just checking it wasn’t a bad time. How are you doing?”

Josh smiled despite himself. “I’m okay now, I guess.” He took a big sigh. “Today was never gonna be a piece of cake for me.”

“Well, as long as you know you don’t have to go through it alone? I’m here, so is Brendon, and your family.” The words reassured Josh more than he thought they would. 

“What are we doing?” He pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“What do you mean?” Tyler sounded concerned. 

“We aren’t friends Tyler, you’ve never shown interest in me before now?” Josh wanted to take the words back as soon as they were out, afraid Tyler would hang up and leave and he’d be alone again. 

“You’re different, you seem cool, plus Brendon told me so much about you, made me wanna see if he was right.”

“Right about what?” Josh asked, brow furrowed. 

“That you suck at Mario Kart.” Josh gaped for a second as Tyler laughed down his end of the line. 

“I do not.” Josh scoffed. 

“That’s not what he tells me.” Tyler teased and Josh protested. They continued to laugh and banter, before talking more about music and work and anything else they could find to talk about, it quickly became addictive, talking to Tyler, hearing the profound things his brain fed out, he had a unique way of seeing the world, but it was so similar to Josh’s own that the pair were both pleasantly surprised at how perfectly their minds fit together. Both baffled as to how they hadn’t bonded like this years ago. As Josh fell asleep still on call, Tyler listened to his breathing, waiting to make sure he was fully asleep. He hung up with a quiet but fond “goodnight”, smiling to himself as he watched the moon sitting high in the sky above himself.


	5. Bedroom

"So, I got this new copy of Mario Kart 64 so maybe we could try it out together?" Tyler nudged Josh with his shoulder.

Josh smiled. "What's new about it?" He picked at his lunch.

"Absolutely nothing." Tyler grinned wolfishly and Josh laughed. It was a hearty laugh and it immediately made Tyler laugh too. "So what do you say? Can I bring it over?" He pressed eagerly.

"I guess I could go for a few rounds after school, but I have this stupid book report to finish." He groaned.

"The one comparing Hansel and Gretel and Red Riding Hood?"

Josh nodded shovelling more cafeteria tater tots into his mouth.

"I haven't done mine yet, we can work on them together and then play Mario Kart in our study breaks?"

Josh shrugged, unable to think of a reason to say no.

"Okay, but only if you promise to actually do work." Josh said with a knowing look and Tyler scoffed.

"Whatever do you take me for Josh." Josh punched him in the arm, laughing at the fake, over-dramatic "ow" Tyler gave off. His arms were incredibly firm given that he was pretty scrawny but Josh just shook it off.

-

"No dude listen I'm telling you, the wolf was a werewolf otherwise how could he speak English?" Josh was laughing as he tried to catch skittles in his mouth, lay on his stomach on his bed, laptop open in front of him. Tyler sat against the side of the bed, face away from Josh so he couldn't see the odd expression that washed over his face.

Tyler let out a shaky laugh. "Don't be stupid, wolves can't talk regardless of whether they're humans some of the time or not."

"Someone's thought about this a lot?" Josh teased and Tyler went bright red, stuttering.

"N-no just saying it's obviously fiction."

"Yeah, obviously." Josh rolled his eyes teasingly not that Tyler could see, he was refusing to look at him. "Like dude, werewolves are obviously made up so why can't this one talk?" Josh continued and Tyler just nodded and continued to type out his own essay.

After an awkward silence, in which Josh barely got anything written because he was too busy over-thinking Tyler's reaction, Tyler sighed shutting his laptop.

"Mario Kart?" He asked standing up and smiling his usual cheeky grin. Josh stared for a moment before nodding and shutting his laptop, shuffling up into a sitting position and reaching for the controllers.

They sat beside each other, knees pressed together.

"Yes!" Tyler whooped and punched his fist in the air as he won the fourth race in a row, taking the cup. Josh laughed and gave him a victory side hug.

"You're really competitive has anyone ever told you that."

Tyler pretended to think about it for a second before responding with a straight face. "No, never actually." Both of them fell into fits of laughter as they played more races, Tyler almost throwing his controller when he slipped on a banana seconds before the finish line, letting Josh pass him and win.

"You're cute when you're being a sore loser." Josh teased as Tyler pouted, eyes going wide as he realised he'd said his thoughts out loud. Both blushed as their eyes shot away from one another. 

Embarrassed Josh stretched and suggested they should get back to finishing their essays. They sat pressed up against the head of the bed with their laptops as they wrote. Almost an hour later Tyler noticed the tiny snores escaping Josh's mouth. He perked up at the sound and instinctively shifted closer to him, watching over him as he slept. After a few more minutes, he realised Josh was asleep enough, so he carefully moved his laptop off his lap making sure his essay was saved before shutting it and putting it on the side. He froze when Josh rolled over, snuggling further into his pillow, his harm settling across Tyler's chest, fist curling into his t-shirt. 

Tyler's heart began hammering in his chest, as Josh settled against him. Tyler watched over him, an instinctive need to keep him safe radiating through his bones but he knew after his phone buzzed for the fifth time that he had no choice but to go home. Gingerly he slipped out from under Josh, quickly scribbling a note before stuffing his things into his backpack and throwing it on. Before he left he couldn't resist placing a gentle kiss onto Josh's forehead.

The next day at school Josh was running late to fifth period when he saw Tyler at his locker talking to one of his teammates. Josh perked up, about to rush over so they could head to class together, and to ask him why he didn't wake him up before he left. Josh blushed as he got closer to the pair, remembering the note Tyler had left saying he looked "too darn adorable to wake" but just before he could be noticed by the pair he noticed the anger on Tyler's face. They looked like they were having an intense discussion as the rest of the people in the hallway filtered out. Josh hung back, just out of sight but in hearing range of them, suspicious.

"I said NO." Tyler growled slamming his locker door shut.

"You can smell it on him, he's ready, turn him!" The other guy said, almost jabbing his finger into Tyler's chest.

"I'm the alpha here. You don't tell me what to do." He spat back shoving the guy off. Immediately the other guy backed down, almost with a whimper before mumbling a small.

"Sorry, Alpha." He scampered off to class, Tyler not far behind leaving Josh utterly confused and late for Math class.


	6. Computer Lab

“Why does the wolf have to be the bad guy?” The same kid who had been talking to Tyler earlier on in the day spoke from the back of the class.

“Are you kidding? HE ATE SOMEONE.” A girl piped up from across the room. 

“Everyone does what they have to, to survive.” The kid replied with a shrug. He immediately, shrunk back and Josh was confused before he saw Tyler practically snarling at him. 

“There’s something kinda immoral about preying on the old and sick though.” Someone else said. 

“Not really, I mean if she was old and sick then she would’ve probably died soon anyway.” The kid in front of Josh mumbled and a few kids turned with raised eyebrows. 

“Okay… but to go after red isn’t moral she’s young and healthy she had lots to live for, he was asking for trouble if you ask me.” Some girl sniffed, crossing her arms over her desk. 

“All I’m saying is that wolves are always the bad guys, they’re always killing things and being scary.” Another guy that Josh recognised from Tyler’s usual friendship group spoke up. 

“They’re just big fluffy dogs to be fair.” Some girl said dreamily and Josh wanted to roll his eyes but he saw the way Tyler’s nose wrinkled in disgust, as did a few of his friends who sat around him. 

_Why was he acting so weird?_

The conversation he’d overheard didn’t seem to make much sense, and now this. Josh shook his head as if to rid the confusion, as the teacher began trying to reign the class back in from their debate. 

Instead of meeting Tyler for lunch Josh headed to the computer lab in the corner of the library, trying not to practically run to one of the computers. He pulled up a search engine and began typing. 

Search: alpha

_548, 000, 000 results_

all of them seemed to be talking about the greek letter, this was no use to Josh so he sighed and sat back, replaying the conversation. 

_“he’s an omega”_

Search: alpha and omega

_3, 780, 000 results_

Josh wrinkled his nose, all the links seemed to be for a kids movie about animated wolves. 

_Wolves._

Wide-eyed Josh typed some more. 

Search: alpha wolf

_38, 500, 000 results_

Josh scrolled through the results eyebrows raised. 

_‘what alpha wolves are REALLY like’_

_‘The Omega – living with wolves’_

_‘why everything you know about wolf packs is wrong’_

 

“What.” Josh said under his breath. He shook his head. “There’s no way…”

_Okay you are not thinking about werewolves right now, don’t be stupid Josh._

Then a thought came to mind and before he could stop himself he was typing it in. 

Image Search: alpha wolf red eyes

Most of the images seemed to be from a tv movie or something about a teen werewolf and it made Josh realise how crazy he was acting. _This was ridiculous, he’s just not been sleeping properly for months and it’s finally catching up on him, yeah that’s it._

But just as he was about to exit the browser and go find Tyler for lunch a picture in the bottom left of the screen made him freeze, it was a drawing of red glowing eyes, surrounded by darkness but with just enough detail to make out the shape of the wolf. The picture was haunting, it looked like it had been drawn straight from his nightmares and his whole body began to tremble. 

“Josh.” The voice almost made Josh yelp, practically leaping out of his chair and scrabbling to close the browser before whoever was behind him could see it. 

Out of breath, heart beating a mile a minute he turned to see Brendon looking incredibly concerned. “Woah, are you okay? I didn’t mean to startle you dude.” He raised his hands in surrender. 

“N-no you’re f-fine.” He tried to will his heart to stop before it exploded. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be at lunch with Ty?” He asked, still searching Josh’s face with concern. 

“Y-yeah, was jus’ catching up on some English homework, I’m going there now.” He said face still red and flustered, grabbing his backpack he practically ran past Brendon and out the library. 

Suspicious, Brendon edged to the computer Josh was just on only to see he hadn’t logged off. Brendon shook his head about to just log off for him when he noticed Josh hadn’t closed his browser, only minimised it. He clicked on it to be met with Josh previous image search. He gulped, checking to see no one else was around before hurriedly shutting the browser and logging Josh off. 

He pulled out his phone and text Tyler. 

_Bren_

_I think josh knows_

The reply was instant. 

_Ty_   
_how much?_

_Bren_

_Enough to fit the pieces together soon, if not already_

_Ty_

_we stick with the plan_


	7. Nurse's Office

"Josh?" Tyler asked worriedly as he walked up to where Josh was slumped on his desk in homeroom. 

Slowly Josh lifted his head, ignoring the pounding in his skull. He attempted a weak smile. Tyler frowned. 

"Are you okay?" He furrowed his brow, placing a cool hand onto Josh's burning and clammy forehead. For a second the pain radiating through his body seemed to shift towards Tyler's touch before dissipating and Josh sighed. He noticed something black move on tyler's arm in the corner of his eye and both boys flinched, Tyler ripping his hand away. 

"Hey, i think there's a fly on you." Josh said, the pain hitting him again making him drowsy. 

"Don't worry i got it." Tyler mumbled cradling his hand as if he was embarrassed about something. "Hey, do you need me to take you to the nurse?" Tyler asked as the bell went to signal the start of classes. 

"No, I'm fine." Josh replied shakily. 

"Josh, i told you not to burn yourself out, you work yourself too hard." Tyler warned. 

"Well some of us have to actually work, not all of us get stuff handed to us by our parents." Josh snapped, frustrated at how horrible he felt not at Tyler really. He began to stand, expecting Tyler to be hurt and walk off, he gasped when Tyler's slender fingers wrapped around his arms, holding him upright as he stumbled. Everything was spinning rapidly. 

"You're so stubborn." Tyler said right by his ear and Josh jumped, flinching out of his grip in shock, his already pink cheeks getting pinker. 

"I said, I'm fine." Josh snapped but as soon as he took a step he collapsed to the floor. 

When he came to he was in the nurses office, a gentle hand running through his hair, occasionally pressing a cool cloth to his brow to help reduce his fever. The cold fingers made him shiver and as soon as he smelt Tyler's fresh earthy scent he knew he was safe. He relaxed into the touch, yawning. 

"Hey you're awake." Tyler said softly from above him, Josh's head on his stomach. 

"Sorry." Josh mumbled. But Tyler just laughed lightly, his fingers didn't stop brushing across his scalp. 

"No need, got me out of math and i didn't have to take the history pop quiz." 

Josh smiled, head still feeling heavy, burying his face in Tyler's skin when they made eye contact and he started to blush. 

"You're cute even when you're sick that's just unfair." Tyler teased and Josh groaned. 

"Stop." He said covering his face with his hands. 

Their flirting was interrupted by the school nurse entering the room. "Is he awake?" 

Tyler nodded as Josh peaked out from behind his hands, a different kind of embarrassment overcoming him. 

"Joshua, you're too sick to be in school, i wanted to wait for you to wake up but i'll have to call your mother to collect you." 

Josh tried to sit up but Tyler coaxed him to lie back down. He wanted to protest and Tyler seemed to understand the problem. 

"Josh it's not safe for you to drive, you can barely stand. I'll bring Ashley and your car home later if you want?" 

The nurse gave the pair a warm smile. "I'll go call your mother Joshua." She left and Josh just stared up at Tyler. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Of course! I'll get Brendon to follow and take me back to school, i have practice tonight." 

"I'm such a burden i'm sorry." Josh mumbled into Tyler's shirt too ashamed to show his face. 

"Hey stop that!" Tyler replied tugging gently on his hair so Josh would look up at him. Immediately he pulled Josh into a hug. 

"Is this the part where i call you 'My Hero' and kiss you." Josh teased, sniffling before burying his face into Tyler's neck and enjoying the butterflies Tyler left when he brushed his hand up and down his spine. Tyler laughed, both of them ignoring their rapidly beating hearts. 

"Wouldn't say i'm much of a hero but i'd not pass up the opportunity for a kiss." He teased back and they laughed, both of them thinking the other wasn't serious. 

"Ah well, i would but i don't want to get you sick." Josh said but he held Tyler tighter regardless. 

"Oh, maybe later then." Tyler smiled, letting his lips brush Josh's shoulder. 

Josh went back to lying in Tyler lap, guiding his hand back to his hair as he let the drowsiness overtake him once again. It was almost another hour before his mother finally arrived. 

Tyler slowly coaxed Josh awake and he remained semi-conscious as he let Tyler guide him off the bed and out to his mother's car. 

He just managed to make out the quick brush of lips on his forehead and a quiet "get well soon Josh" as Tyler buckled him up, before Tyler was slipping away and Josh was falling asleep again. He doesn't remember his mother guiding him into the house and upstairs to bed but he spends the next three days on and off sleeping, only waking up to use the bathroom or to take more medicine or when his mother forces him to eat something. 

By the fourth day he knows he'll be over it in the morning because his heads much clearer and his fever broke sometime the day before. His heart flutters at the thought of seeing Tyler again, he'd dreamt about the feel of his gentle fingers combing through his hair or the way his lips ghosted over his skin in a way that makes him shiver. He's knows the way he dreams about Tyler is more than just fever-induced weirdness, he knows he likes him a lot. 

He knew he liked him the moment he'd shoved his copy of the Grimm's Fairytales into his hands nearly three months ago, but he'd been stubborn and confused so he'd denied it. But now that they were friends it was a completely different story. Now they shared everything, inside jokes, a secret handshake, soft kisses and occasional cuddles. When Josh felt overwhelmed, he called Tyler and his soft voice lulled him back from the edge of oblivion. When Tyler was down, Josh told him shitty jokes and bought him red bull and let him thrash him at Mario Kart until he completely forgot why he was sad. Tyler would always turn up at Josh's work and just sit and talk to him to fill the time between customers and Josh never even asked, he just did it, insisted when Josh told him he didn't need to. He even helped Josh do homework in his breaks, which would've still been doing even if he wasn't there only now he wasn't getting frustrated with himself. Josh knew what the butterflies and the pink cheeks and the tingles in his skin where ever Tyler touched it meant. 

The next day Josh woke up to a clear head, and a growling stomach. He practically wolfed down his breakfast before rushing his sister to get ready so he could get to school. 

"I have never met anyone so eager to get to high school before, especially after a four day break." Ashley scoffed as she fixed her long red hair into a pony tail. Josh just rolled his eyes and backed his car out of their drive. 

As soon as he saw Tyler talking to a few of his friends at his locker Josh began walking towards him. Tyler practically beamed when he noticed Josh and it only solidified Josh in his plan. 

He walked straight up to Tyler, ignoring the other people stood beside him. 

"So, I'm not sick anymore." He breathed his face really close to Tyler's. Tyler was a bit startled by the closeness but then he cocked an eyebrow. 

"I can see that."

"Well, i think i owe you something." Josh replied with an almost dazed smile. 

"Finally." Tyler grinned before threading his fingers through Josh's hair and closing the tiny gap. Their lips crashing together. Tyler's friends cheered, causing Tyler to smile, slipping his tongue into Josh's mouth and Josh stepped impossibly closer. They kissed deeply, Josh shivering at the way their tongues brushed together his whole body tingling with pure joy. He was kissing his crush, Josh Dun was kissing his crush Tyler Joseph and Tyler Joseph (his crush!!!!!) was kissing him back, this was the best day in his otherwise shitty ass life. 

He never wanted to stop as his hands slid across Tyler's back, as Tyler's fingers tugged beautifully on his hair so he could kiss Josh until their lips were swollen and their jaws ached. Tyler never wanted to stop.


	8. Backseat

Josh huffed as he checked the time on his phone for the hundredth time. Tyler was late. He was late a lot lately. 

Josh eyed the rain falling around himself, shivering and doing his coat all the way up. He was waiting in the shelter of his porch as the rain relentlessly pelted the asphalt of his drive. 

Josh checked his phone again as thunder rumbled in the distance, as if it was grumbling about Tyler being late. 

“Me too.” Josh sighed. 

Josh bounced on the balls of his feet and pretended not to notice the way his breath danced in front of his face, his fingers were completely numb as he fiddled with the zip of his jacket. 

Josh checked his phone again because _really_ what else was there to do other than stare at the grey vastness of the sky and grumble about having a boyfriend with the world’s shittiest time keeping skills. 

Finally a car pulled up to his house but it wasn’t Tyler’s. 

Josh watched confused but Tyler got out the back of the car, calling him over the heavy rain and another crack of thunder. 

Shaking his head Josh ran to join him, quickly piling into the back of the car. 

Even travelling such a short distance he was soaked through, water dripped off his nose and down the back of his neck making him shiver violently. 

Tyler was squished into the backseat beside Josh, he was also dripping wet but he quickly took off his jacket. As the car began moving out of the drive, Tyler began stripping Josh of his coat before Josh could even protest, or realise what was happening. Josh squeaked as Tyler cuddled him into his chest, sharing his body heat. Josh was a little winded from the man handling to even stop him, letting Tyler pull a seatbelt across him, before clicking his own into place. 

Josh refused look up at Tyler, a scowl on his face. It was while he was ignoring the brunette, but secretly snuggling closer because _holy moly he was warm_ , that he realised who was in the front seats. 

Brendon smiled down at where he was coddled into Tyler’s chest a look of amusement on his face as he took in his childish pout. 

“He’s mad at you, how cute.” Brendon said as Josh sniffed, certain he’d probably caught another cold. _man, his immune system sucked ass_.

Tyler began nuzzling at the top of his head, pressing kisses into his hair. He stopped when Brendon gave him a look that Josh couldn’t seem to place. 

“Dal, drop us in the same place as normal.” Brendon instructed turning to the driver. It was then that Josh realised he had no idea who was driving. He looked older than the bunch of seventeen year olds, but not much, his height just seemed to make the age gap seem large. 

“Josh this is Dallon, he’s… uh- a family friend.” Josh eyed Tyler suspiciously as he spoke and Josh sat up a bit, his neck aching from the angle he’d been held at. 

“Uh, cool, thanks for picking me up.” Josh smiled and Dallon looked over his shoulder to smile back, seeing as they were at a stop light. 

Josh move so that he was facing Tyler before resuming their cuddle. 

Tyler huffed out a laugh. “Thought you were mad at me?” He teased. 

“Shut up I’m cold.” He mumbled into Tyler’s shoulder, Tyler laughed but it turned to a hiss as Josh pushed his ice cold fingers under his shirt to warm them up. 

Josh gave him a smirk and Tyler smacked his arm. “You’re lucky I think you’re cute.” Tyler said, stealing a kiss and leaving Josh a stuttering, blushing mess. He still wasn’t used to that even though he and Tyler had been together well over a month. 

When they pulled up to curb Josh realised they were half a block away from the parking lot entrance, meaning they were going to have to run in the rain. 

“Oh stop grumbling.” Josh was about to smack Tyler playfully but then he realised it wasn’t Tyler talking to him as they slid out the car but Dallon talking to Brendon. 

Josh blinked as he continued shuffling out the backseat, seeing Brendon lean over to press a kiss to Dallon’s lips. 

Josh stopped watching them as soon as he felt the rain beat down on his hair. Tyler grabbed his hand, shutting the door behind him and pulling him into a run. 

They ran through the rain, Josh only just keeping up with Tyler which was odd because Josh was one of the fastest runners in their school, he’d been begged by their coach to join the track team every year but Josh just wasn’t interested in sports enough, not like Tyler. 

They laughed as Tyler shook his sodden hair like a dog, all the water going onto Josh. 

“Stop!” He chuckled, shaking his own hair in retaliation. 

The pair calmed down as they strolled to Josh’s locker, fingers interlocked. 

“Hey, how old is Dallon?” Josh asked as he sorted through his soggy backpack, cringing as his lunch bag came out wrinkled and damp. 

“21, he graduated from Harvard last fall, he’s so smart it’s unreal.”

Josh almost choked, he’d thought maybe he was like 19. He voiced this to Tyler who shrugged.

“Does it matter?” He asked as he shifted his backpack to his other shoulder so he could walk side by side with Josh to his own locker, now Josh was finished with his own. 

“Yes.” Josh hissed. “Why is Brendon kissing a 22 year old and why are you letting him!” He said quietly and Tyler stopped dead in his tracks. He groaned and rubbed his face with the hand that wasn’t clasped in Josh’s. 

“Listen, I can’t explain why you have to trust me on this but, there’s no way you can keep them apart it’s just not that simple. But they’re not like… they’re aware that the age gap is a- a _problem_. Dallon would never take advantage or like, do anything illegal he’s not like that.” Tyler fumbled with his words. 

Josh just eyed him suspiciously. 

Tyler almost cheered with relief when the bell rang, meaning Josh had to get to class. 

“Listen, I have class to get to, I’ll see you later?” Tyler said untangling their fingers and pressing a sweet kiss to Josh’s lips. 

“Yeah see ya.” Josh said, still pretty pissed off at his boyfriend, as he watched Tyler get swept away in the crowd of teens getting to their first class of the day.


	9. Home

Josh was having yet another bad day, his 8th in a row probably. The kind of bad day that just proves to be the straw to break the camel’s back. The one that really puts in perspective how much your life sucks. 

He’d only had three hours of sleep because he had been made to close at Guitar Centre, so by the time he got home he had expected to be able to just fall straight to sleep. As he pushed his key into the lock of his front door, he remembered that he completely forgot to finish his history paper, so resigned himself to staying up to finish it. 

When he got in, he found his two youngest siblings still wide awake, watching the ring. Josh ran into the room, and quickly turned off the TV. 

“What are you doing?” He said angrily, flinching when Abby burst into tears. Jordan cowered beside her, the two of them obviously scared shitless by the movie. Josh wasn’t surprised that an R-rated horror movie had terrified the 8 and 11 year olds. 

Gently Josh approached his siblings, scooping Abbie into his arms and hugging her. He soothed her as best as he could, looking at Jordan in a way that said “start talking.”

“A-Ashley said to just w-wait for her to tell us w-when we could go upstairs.” He said worried and Josh just nodded and continued to sooth his sister. 

“She in her room?” Josh asked, tired and pissed off. 

Jordan nodded and opened his arms as Josh placed Abigail in his grip. He told them he’d be back in a minute. 

Taking a deep breath Josh bounded up at the stairs, immediately barging into Ashley’s room. His sister squeaked and tried to push the naked boy off of her so she could cover herself with the bed sheets. 

“Leave.” Josh said staring at the panicked boy on his floor. “GET OUT.” He shouted causing the boy to scramble for his clothes and re-dress. 

“Josh don’t be an asshole.” Ashley shouted from her bed. “We were just-”

“Don’t even start with me right now.” Josh snapped. “You’re fifteen Ashley.” He said disgusted, he looked at the boy frantically dressing. “You have five seconds to get out of my house.” Josh seethed and the guy tried to apologise but Ashley gave him a look so he simply fled out the room and down the stairs. 

Ashley looked at her older brother angrily. “What so it’s okay for you and Tyler to mess around?” She said, and Josh whipped his head around to look at her, she shrunk back into the bed a bit. 

“Firstly, I’m 17 it’s not illegal. Secondly, we haven’t e-even…” he trailed off. “Plus I would never neglect Abs and Jordan for something so trivial.” He spat.

Ashley scoffed. “They’re fine, they love when I let them stay up late!” She replied but Josh just shook his head and headed out. 

“I’m sure they love being scared shitless by R-rated horror movies that someone left playing on the TV. Go to fucking bed Ashley, you’re so lucky mom’s on the night shift, I can’t imagine what she would’ve done to you if she’d walked in not me.” 

Josh walked out before she could retort, shutting her door and heading back downstairs. He took another hour to get his siblings to bed, having to check for monsters four times, finding Jordan a nightlight from under his bed that put stars onto the ceiling, then assuring him that it didn’t make him a loser because he needed a night light. Abigail needed coddling for the whole time, shadowing Josh as he sorted out stuff for his two siblings, Josh told her stories and lay with her until she could sleep. 

Before he could fall asleep himself, he managed to type out most of his essay, only one paragraph left, he yawned. He wasn’t even sure any of what he’d written was coherent but it would have to do. He checked the time seeing it was nearing 3am. He was startled by the door to his room opening. 

Abigail stood in his doorway, crying and clutching the teddy bear she’d had since she was 3. 

“You can stay in here but you’ll have to wait for me to finish this essay.” Josh said and she nodded, silently climbing into his bed. Josh quickly rounded up his essay, saving it multiple times before heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth and change into his pyjamas. 

When he came back he quickly checked his phone seeing he’d missed some texts from Tyler. Abi cuddled up to him and he decided he needed to sleep too badly to do anything other than turn off the lights and lie down. He forced himself to stay awake until he was sure Abigail had drifted off, in case she needed him but then he couldn’t stop sleep from claiming him, just as the sky began lightening. 

He was late to school because he was so tired, and he dropped his whole bag in a puddle rushing to get to the library to print his essay in time. 

He was so late to homeroom that he didn’t get to talk to Tyler, and got held back for the teacher to have a talk with him about his constant tiredness and how his grades were dropping. 

He spent his free period in the library, heading to find the library only copy of his math textbook. As he approached the shelf a guy from his math class brushed past him looking nervous. Josh thought it was weird but didn’t think anything of it until he got to the correct shelf and realised the kid had stolen the only textbook –all the others had been checked out already. 

His next mistake was to not answer Tyler’s texts, not even texting him while he was having a panic attack in a toilet stall instead of going to math class. 

Tyler found him at lunchtime, instantly knowing something was wrong. Josh told him about the textbook situation, laughing it off as himself being petty and saying he’d figure something out. Tyler nodded and proceeded to comfort his boyfriend, rubbing slow circles in his back and hugging him from behind, nuzzling his shoulder. 

Tyler seemed extra clingy physically but mentally he was distracted, Josh tried not to notice that he kept clenching up, trying to stop himself falling asleep in Tyler’s arms in the middle of the cafeteria. He was already embarrassed by the PDA. 

“Josh, who took the book again?” Tyler said as he stood next Josh’s locker. 

“I think it was some kid called Adam why?” 

“Was it _him_?” 

Josh snapped his head up, following Tyler’s gaze to the very kid who had ran past him this morning. 

“Yes, but- Tyler wait-” Josh tried to stop Tyler but he was already storming over to the kid. Before anyone could stop it Tyler had the kid up against a locker, whimpering as Tyler practically growled into his ear, demanding he put the book back. 

A teacher yanked the two apart before escorting Tyler to the principal’s office. 

Josh stood in shock, he didn’t even get to speak to Tyler about why he was acting so aggressive suddenly. He texted Tyler after school but Tyler didn’t reply, then Josh was busy doing chores, picking Jordan up from baseball, realising he had to use the last of his paycheque on gas, before getting the graveyard shift at the diner last minute. 

He spent most of it trying to study but mainly just falling asleep on his arms. When he got home at almost 1am he felt sure he was being watched but there was no one around. He shrugged it off as sleep-deprivation related hallucinations. He didn’t even question when he found Abigail asleep on his bed, obviously passing out waiting for him to come home. 

And if Josh cried himself to sleep silently because life had kicked his ass today then that was a secret between himself and Abi’s teddy bear. 

Tyler disappeared for almost a week without a word, Brendon assured Josh it was just that he was sick and couldn’t come to school, the same bug he had fallen victim to two weeks ago. Josh pretended not to be hurt when Brendon told him that Tyler didn’t want him to check on him or worry about him. He lingered, trailing after Josh like a lost puppy, saying that Tyler asked him to look out for Josh. Josh tried to say that he didn’t need a babysitter but Brendon didn’t seem to get the memo about backing off, Josh even wondered if he was aware he was doing it. 

He added another line to the tally in the back of his notebook titled “bad days” after he’d been given judgemental, somewhat creepy looks from the basketball team at lunchtime. 

When Tyler finally returned to school on the Monday he wouldn’t begging for Josh’s forgiveness, which Josh had already given him the first time he’d apologised. Tyler seemed clingy still, almost possessively put his arm around him in front of his friends, but Josh didn’t mind, after a week of radio silence he craved the attention more than he’d care to admit. Not-so-secretly relishing the way Tyler would keep kissing him even after he’d already pulled away twice. 

“Please don’t leave me again.” Josh said sadly and Tyler felt his heart break. 

“I’m sorry baby.” Tyler frowned, gently picking an eyelash off Josh’s cheek. Josh blushed and kissed Tyler to distract him from noticing. 

“It’s okay, I just… I really need you right now, you make me feel safe.” Josh said resting his head on Tyler’s shoulder tiredly. 

“That’s because I will hurt anyone who hurts you.” Tyler said only half-joking. Josh smiled and hugged him tighter. 

“That’s cute, but right now I’d prefer you to be soft so I can cuddle a bit longer.” Tyler laughed and pulled Josh in closer, rubbing his fingers up and down Josh’s spine. 

They sat contently like that for a while in a secluded corner of the library. Tyler felt sure Josh had already fallen asleep but then he heard a tiny. “Tyler?” in his ear. He hummed to let Josh know he was listening. 

“Would you mind if I fell asleep on you?” He asked softly and Tyler nodded, an intense desire to keep him safe from the world, to keep him all for himself overcoming him. No one else can be trusted with Josh, only Tyler. 

Josh snuggled closer in Tyler’s lap. Falling asleep as Tyler quietly read the next fairy-tale for their English paper, his raspy voice sending a wave of static-y relaxation through him. 

Josh didn’t add another tally that night.


	10. Front Yard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just be careful at the end theres an attack

“You seem chipper today.” Tyler teased as he slung an arm around Josh’s shoulders. 

“Probably because I actually got a full night’s sleep for once.” Josh smiled back, leaning into his boyfriend. 

“Abby finally stopped having nightmares?” Tyler said eyes raised, and Josh nodded. “I’m surprised your mom hasn’t figured it out yet.” 

Josh shrugged as they entered their homeroom class, blushing when Tyler pulled him down onto his lap at his desk. They were early enough that most people hadn’t arrived yet, the teacher included. “Abby and I have this agreement that I deal with the monsters and nightmares so mom can rest, she comes to me when she’s scared, so does Jordan.” Josh fiddled with his hoodie strings, and Tyler frowned. Josh was always having to go above and beyond what most kids his age did. 

“Can we hang out tonight?” Tyler said, pressing kisses into Josh’s neck and hugging him closer. Josh flinched, face scrunching as Tyler brushed his tickle spot, causing Tyler to grin and keep kissing him there. 

“Stop.” Josh mumbled, trying not to squeal or laugh. “I-I can’t.” Tyler stopped tickling him, trying to supress his sadness. “I have work at the diner, I’m leaving last period early then working ‘til 6, then mom wants a family dinner, sorry.” Josh explained, avoiding eye contact guiltily. 

Tyler reached up to turn his face around so that Tyler could kiss him. “It’s okay.”

A few more kids filed into the classroom, Tyler’s basketball friends giving him nods of greetings, un-phased that Josh was perched in his lap still. Josh curled in on himself, embarrassed but Tyler rubbed soothing circles across his hips to calm him. 

“Hey, Josh.” Tyler said quietly, causing Josh to look at him again. “I know this timing sucks and it’s totally okay if you don’t want to say it back just yet but” he took a deep breath, eyes sharp and determined. “I love you, okay?”

Josh stared at Tyler for a second, his whole face in awe but before he could speak, the bell was ringing out and their teacher seemed to materialize out of nowhere, with an unimpressed expression, waiting for Josh to get to his own seat. 

Josh hesitantly walked over to his seat, flopping down unhappily. 

Tyler smiled at him, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

As soon as homeroom finished Josh bolted out of the class, finding himself under the bleachers of the football field crying and fending off what felt like the becoming’s of another panic attack. He was so stupid. In the distance, he heard the late bell ring and remembered that he had a math test he had to get to, he wiped his eyes took a deep breath and ran to his class. He was only ten minutes late, but thankfully Tyler had helped him study for this one so he knew what he was actually doing. He ignored the way his hands shook almost violently, and suppressed thoughts of Tyler, focusing on the test in front of him. 

Josh was trying to navigate the crowd of students so that he could get to a bathroom to wipe his nose when he heard the commotion. He continued to push thorough until he reached the clearing immediately realising over the shouting that two guys were fighting, throwing punches and practically spitting at one another. Josh noticed Brendon, and his friends Michael and Mark, pulling the two guys apart. That’s when Josh realised Tyler was the one throwing the punches, the other guy looking pretty beaten. 

Josh stared in shock, guilt pooling in his stomach, he couldn’t help but wonder if he’d had something to do with why Tyler was being so reckless. 

Josh cautiously stepped forward and reached out for Tyler, and he practically growled as he whipped around. Josh yanked his hand back like he’d been burned. It was like when he was little and his cat had been trying to fight a stray that wandered into their yard, he’d picked his cat up to take her inside before she got hurt and she’d hissed at the sudden grab, a sound his cat had never made before, it had scared him more than it should’ve scared a ten-year-old boy. 

Tyler’s eye blew wide when he realised Josh was the one who’d touched him. Josh looked scared and panicked and like he was about to cry and Tyler’s heart broke in his chest. Tyler went to comfort him, to say something, to apologise when teachers finally showed up, immediately taking them to the principal. 

“Tyler this is your second fight this month, you know the three strikes rule, once more and you’re off the team.” His coach warned as he pulled him away from Josh. 

Josh skipped lunch in order to do his homework in the library, as he’d planned to. He wanted to find Tyler but he was so worried Tyler hated him right now that he just couldn’t face him. He couldn’t face the idea that Tyler might actually break up with him the next time they spoke. 

Tyler found him anyway, at his locker sorting through books. He was trying to figure out what homework he had left to do so he could head to class early and work on it before the bell. There was still twenty minutes of lunch left. 

When Tyler appear Josh almost ran, but he forced himself to stay with a deep breath.

“Josh, can we talk?” Tyler’s voice was gravelly and he cleared his throat awkwardly. Josh quickly grabbed his books, stuffing them into his back before shutting his locker. He made the mistake of facing Tyler, seeing the sad doe eyes and the cut on his eyebrow and some dried blood on his cheek. 

Josh pulled his backpack higher on his back and tried to walk away but Tyler stopped him. “Josh?”

Josh shut his eyes, trying to keep it together, not turning around to face him. “ _Please_.” The word was broken and desperate and it made Tyler move around to take Josh’s face into his hands. “Please don’t break up with me.” Josh whispered. 

“What?” Tyler asked confused, rubbing Josh’s cheek with his thumb, coaxing him to open his eyes and look at him. “Josh, I love you. I was so worried about you.”

Relief caused Josh to immediately yank Tyler into a hug. “I’m so sorry.” He sobbed into Tyler’s neck. Tyler shushed him, running a hand through his blonde curls, nuzzling his neck. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong baby.” Tyler promised. 

Josh pulled back wiping his face, he shook his head. “I love you too.” Was all he could reply, breathlessly and Tyler’s whole face lit up. Their lips crashed together, working desperately trying to cling to one another like they might disappear at any moment. 

When they pulled away to breathe they pressed their foreheads together. “I will never leave you Josh okay, I’m always here. Please don’t shut me out. No matter what goes on in here.” He tapped Josh’s forehead, “I’m right here.” He put his hand to Josh’s chest, gesturing to his heart and Josh’s whole body radiated with affection. He rubbed their noses together and Tyler smiled, stealing quick pecks every few seconds. 

“Sorry I’m such a mess.” Josh sniffed trying to laugh it off. Tyler frowned. 

“You’re not. Besides I’m sure that’s what someone said about a Picasso and they’re kinda considered some of the best art in the world so…” Tyler smirked and Josh rolled his eyes playfully. They kissed until the bell went. 

 

Josh was biking home from his shift at the diner when his front wheel punctured, sending him toppling onto the sidewalk. He picked himself up, sighing. He wasn’t too far from his house so he began walking the last few blocks. He was too distracted inspecting the scrape up his arm that he didn’t notice something following him. 

The sun had already started trying to set, making everything a bit more dim than usual. Josh stopped when he heard something, checking around himself but there was nothing there. He winced at the blood dripping down his arm before trying to push his bike along again. 

Josh was just approaching his house when his bike wheel got stuck, he stopped to inspect the puncture. Before he could even blink he was being knocked full force onto his front lawn by something huge. Josh yelped and tried to push it off him, gasping for air. It was then that he realised a giant wolf was snarling at him, clawing at his skin and snapping its teeth, trying to bite him. 

Josh tried desperately to push it off him, sure he was about to get mauled to death on his own front lawn. He kicked and shoved at the animal but it was too strong. Josh felt sure he was gonna be scarred if he ever survived this, from how much blood was starting to soak into his t-shirt. 

Something bowled into the wold, sending it flying. Josh gasped for air and began scrambling back, away from where the wolf had gone. 

He looked up, blinking hard to see a second wolf was squaring off the first. The two snarling and growling at one another before charging at one another before attacking one another fiercely. Josh’s whole head was spinning, his whole body pounding as he tried to figure out how to move, to get away. 

He vaguely heard his name shouted in the distance but it was muffled by the sloshing in his ears, he looked up to see the wolf that attacked him had knocked the second out and was preparing to charge at him again. Josh desperately tried to scramble back, his legs too weak to stand. 

He was going to die. 

Someone stood in front of Josh defiantly. Josh realised this was whoever had called out for him. The wolf immediately bowed its head in shame, growling at the human defending Josh but somehow unable to attack them. Like an invisible for made them back off. 

“Get out of here Spencer. GO.” The voice commanded in a way that made even Josh cower. The second wolf slowly got up, looking from Josh splayed out on the floor to the man above him. It seemed to nod before following the other wolf, as though escorting it away. 

Josh whimpered as he tried to get his bearings. The man above him turned and Josh gasped as red eyes met his. The same red eyes that had been watching him from the woods, the same red eyes that haunted his nightmares. Josh stopped breathing as the red disappeared into warm brown, familiar, safe. Tyler was kneeling in front of him, desperately pulling his face into his hands, trying to get through to Josh but he couldn’t hear him. 

“Josh please, please be okay, say something!” Tyler’s voice was shaky and panicked as he checked him over, nothing like the commanding voice he’d just heard used to stop a literal wolf from _killing_ Josh not two seconds ago. 

“What the fuck?” seemed to be the only thing Josh could seem to force out. 

“Baby, you with me?” Tyler asked and Josh finally realised he was crying, so worried about Josh and Josh finally realised his entire body was scratched and bleeding, his work shirt completely shredded. 

Josh fell backwards exhausted, the adrenaline that had kept him upright and unaware of the pain until now. As he collapsed Tyler cradled him, trying to keep him upright. 

“You’re gonna be okay Josh. You’re safe now. Did he bite you?” Tyler said frantically. Josh took a jagged breath shaking his head. “Oh thank god.” Tyler sighed with relief resting their foreheads together. Pulling Josh upright, now he wasn’t shaking so much. The pain dissipated as Tyler wrapped his hand on Josh’s and Josh realised Tyler was somehow taking it away, black veins rippling up his arm. He stopped after a minute, teeth gritted.

“You-” Josh stared baffled. “What the fuck?”

Josh pushed Tyler away from himself, finally collecting himself. He backed away scared. Staring at Tyler with wide confused eyes. 

“Tyler what the fuck is going on?” Tyler bowed his head, not looking at Josh, guilty. 

“I-I’ll tell you everything I promise, but” Tyler began, shifting to face Josh again, helping hold him upright once again. “I need you to kiss me, please? One last time because after I do, I don’t know if you’ll love me anymore.” Tyler pleaded and Josh’s mind raced. 

After a minute of heavy breathing, trying to process the past twenty minutes, Josh cautiously leaned forward and kissed Tyler. Tyler was gentle but desperate and he clung to Josh as much as he knew was reasonable desperate to savour it. Josh leant heavily against him and Tyler knew he would have to pull away now. 

“I love you so much.” Tyler promised, as they pulled apart, foreheads pressed together. 

“Start talking, now.” Josh replied.


	11. Tyler

_When Tyler was born, he kept his eyes closed for almost a full day, when he finally opened them, they glowed the deepest red his parents had ever seen. They took three weeks before they faded to brown, but his parents knew what it meant. They knew their son was special._

_Tyler was thirteen when he presented, the first full moon after his birthday brought a new experience. The first time he turned his mother had held his hand, wiping the sweat from his brow and making sure that she took away as much pain as possible._

_He was a natural in his wolf form, he got the hang of shifting pretty quickly, he was faster, stronger and quieter than most of his friends. It lent itself easily to his basketball abilities, a hobby his mother had made him take up in order to use up his pent-up energy and strength without arousing suspicion._

_In the lead-up to his fifteenth birthday, things changed. His wolf eyes which had been a light orange grew deeper and darker until they were the deep red his mother had seen after he was born. His friends quickly fell into a rhythm of following him around, doing things when he asked without protest in a way that confused him. The adults in the pack began whispering and Tyler shrunk in on himself. Some of the older kids made fun of him for his eyes, they were too red, too vibrant not like all the other alphas whose own eyes were a deep burnt orange. The pack leader had pulled Tyler aside a week before his sixteenth birthday and explained that he would present as an alpha, and that’s where everything would change._

_He was rare, special. A true alpha. One that was born to rule over others, a natural leader, all the wolves in the pack would start to look to him to lead, and when he was ready the pack would be his, even the current leader would have to follow him, but until such a time they would continue in the role._

_As with any wolf presenting, the ritual is the same, a week stuck in wolf form, growing and evolving into their final form, eye colour finalising, fangs growing, their scent to other wolves changing, their aura shifting so that all other wolves knew their status with one glance. Tyler fell asleep like any other evening but when he awoke, he felt different, like he’d gone through a second bought of puberty. He was stronger than before, ripping the door handle off his bedroom door. His whole bed was torn to shreds by his claws while he’d been turned. His mother explained that he’d been out of it for a week, his siblings all remarking that he smelled bad, which he snapped about not having time to shower yet._

_“Sweetie showering won’t stop that, that’s how alpha’s smell.” His mother teased, and he groaned. He never asked to be a leader, he never asked to be the freak alpha with red eyes instead of orange. Why couldn’t they have been gold like an omega or even better icy blue like a beta._

_“You stink.” Dallon said, nose wrinkled as he had come around to visit. Dallon was one of the only pack members that hadn’t treated him differently. His friends/classmates being the only other ones, although they had been the first to submit to his alpha nature, despite lots of them being alphas themselves._

_“Ha ha, very funny.” Tyler rolled his eyes before handing the omega a slice of pizza._

_“That’s a good thing.” Dallon smirked, holding his hands up in defence, the pizza flopping sadly in his grip._

_Tyler gave him an odd look._

_“It means I don’t want to sleep with you.” Dallon laughed and Tyler shoved him._

_“Jokes on you, I’m a catch.” Tyler replied cockily, not believing a word of what he was saying._

_It was the end of summer when things changed. Tyler had overheard Dallon arguing with the pack leader after one of the pack gatherings and that’s when he’d learnt that being alpha was more than just telling people what to do._

_“Dallon found his mate, but he’s human, your age.”_

_Tyler had simply stared in shock, unsure what to do with the information._

_“His name is Brendon Urie, do you know him?” Dallon said and Tyler nodded slowly knowing him from his homeroom and math class._

_Tyler hadn’t understood what was truly going on until he’d been taken to Dallon’s house, to find the omega curled around an unconscious Brendon who was sweating and whining in pain. They’d turned him._

_Dallon assured him it wasn’t him who had asked for this but he wasn’t going to lose his mate. Tyler had helped how he could, the last two days being the worst. Turning humans was different, it wasn’t the same with born wolves, their whole DNA had to change, it led to fevers and immense pain that only alphas and omegas could survive. If a human who wasn’t destined to be one of those two classes was bitten they died. Humans didn’t have a week long presenting period either, their presenting happened almost immediately and only lasted a day, emerging from a week of agony so painful they immediately forgot it as a fully grown alpha or omega wolf._

_Dallon had helped Brendon to understand what happened to him, taught him all he could and at some point Brendon had developed feelings for him. Tyler talked him through the alpha aspects, helping when Dallon couldn’t and indicting him into his pack, leading him to abandon his best friend Josh._

_When he’d first come back to school Tyler had noticed Josh for the first time and it changed everything._   
_Josh had been questioning Brendon about why he’d disappeared for over a week and Brendon had seemed overwhelmed, not just with the questions he couldn’t answer but also still adjusting to his enhanced senses. Tyler had called Brendon away and he smiled gratefully before scampering to his side._

_Josh watched in anger and Tyler made eye contact with him and for the first time he noticed he looked different. When Tyler looked at people usually for a brief second he could see an aura that told him whether they were human or not, sometimes whether they had the potential to become alphas or omegas if turned but he usually ignored that. But Josh had been lit up like a Christmas tree, everything screaming in Tyler’s mind telling him he was not any potential omega but the most important one. Tyler’s heart stuttered in his chest but then Josh was giving him a filthy look and storming the other direction._

_“It means he’s your mate Tyler.” Dallon explained, as he squished closer to Brendon on the couch._

_“He can’t be he hates me.” Tyler scoffed, chugging his red bull as he watched Brendon and Michael play Mario kart._

_“Josh couldn’t hate anybody if he tried.” Brendon snorted and everyone turned to look at him._

_“Hey Bren you’re pretty close with Josh, right? I have a plan….” Dallon said with a smirk._

_Mostly the plan had been to get Josh to want to be friends with Tyler so he could figure out if he really was his mate. It led to a tiny bit of stalking (finding where he worked and watching him through his bedroom window were not Tyler’s finest moments he’ll be the first to admit) and lots of interrogating Brendon which wasn’t very hard because Tyler only had to ask with his alpha voice and Brendon blabbed everything. Then from this information Tyler set about getting Josh to open up to him; buying him textbooks, going after him when he was having a breakdown, calling him to make sure he was alright was all instinctual for Tyler. It all felt right, like taking care of Josh was his purpose, so when Josh started showing the affection back Tyler had realised something._

_The pack had already figured out that Josh was Tyler’s other half, and he knew someone would try to turn him, and Tyler would never let Josh be taken away from his family like that. Turning was dangerous and painful and Tyler’s whole body told him to protect the boy he loved from anyone who tried to harm him. He’d continue to fight and butt heads with every other alpha in his pack on this, for Josh. The best way to protect Josh was to make sure he never knew what was really going on, in case finding out got him hurt, humans weren’t allowed to know they existed, it was safer for everyone._

_And selfishly, Tyler wanted Josh in the dark because he was scared if he knew the truth, he would leave Tyler, and Tyler couldn’t bear the separation, it would kill him. Dallon had warned that it could literally kill him as well._

_Tyler had his suspicions about Spencer, hence why they had fought at school. As soon as he’d realised Spencer was missing from the pack meeting he had dragged Brendon to Josh’s house. They’d almost reached the house when they saw the struggle, Brendon focusing on taking out Spencer, Tyler remaining human to protect his boyfriend._

_And that’s how he ended up, knelt in front of the boy he loved with every fibre of his being. Scared hazel eyes pleading for answers Tyler had promised never to have to spill. Covered in mud and blood and shaking like a leaf Josh had kissed him and Tyler felt the tiniest flicker of hope in his heart that maybe he wasn’t about to lose the only thing that felt right, that kept his world spinning when everything else never made sense, never sat right. Josh made him a better alpha, and he’d not even realised. He toned down his anger, made him take charge, caused him to question his actions and pass this new ethics onto his impressionable pack-mates –no his pack._

_But now his world was stock still outside and churning violently inside his stomach, his limbs freezing over because Josh lips weren’t against his like an anchor, he was drifting out to sea without a life-jacket and Josh was saying, “Start talking, now.”_

_So, he did. He told him everything._


	12. Bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to say that what Tyler told Josh was everything from the last chapter, so when you read this just know that Josh (like you) knows everything that was mentioned in the last chapter :)

Josh fluttered his eyes open. It took him a minute to work out that he was in his bedroom. His whole body was throbbing as he remembered what had happened that evening. Being thrown onto the ground by a huge wolf only to be saved by Tyler, Tyler with glowing eyes and- _and Tyler was a werewolf_. 

Josh sat bolt upright, but the sudden movement made his head spin, he winced. 

Suddenly there were soft hands on him, coaxing him to lie back down. “You’re okay, you’re safe now.” Josh flinched as he realised Tyler had been lay beside him on the bed. Panting hard he stared up at the brunette, eyes wide with panic. 

“Wh-What happened?” 

Tyler backed off him, giving him space, a sad expression in his eyes. “After I told you everything, you passed out from shock or your injuries or both I’m not sure. I brought you to your room and watched over you.”

Josh sighed and rubbed his eyes with his grazed palms, hissing at the pain. Suddenly another thought dawned on him. 

“My mom…” 

“Your mom got called into work before you got home she isn’t back ‘til morning. I spoke to Ashley she’s babysitting Jordan and Abigail; she doesn’t know what happened.” Tyler soothed scared to reach out for Josh even though he so desperately wanted to. 

Josh stared at the ceiling in silence, trying to piece everything together that had happened over the last few hours. 

“I have questions.” He finally said looking up at Tyler’s sad expression. 

“I figured you would.” He said with an understanding shrug. 

Josh thought carefully for a second before asking, “so you’re like an actual wolf?”

Tyler nodded slowly, afraid to scare Josh off. 

“Can you show me or is it like-like a full moon only thing?” Josh felt stupid for even entertaining the ludicrousness of this situation but it really was starting to make sense. The way Tyler disappeared for weeks with no explanation, how he’d always known where to find Josh and how he was feeling. Most importantly it explained why his friends always followed him around like a pack of puppies, he was literally their pack leader. 

Tyler laughed a little shaking his head. “I can do it whenever.”

“Show me.” Josh said again, more determined. He sat up despite his body’s protests. 

Tyler nodded, getting up off the bed, he stripped down to his boxers before stepping just inside the door to the bathroom that attached to Josh’s room. Josh watched the closed door confused, the door opened slowly but there was no one there until suddenly a giant black wolf with bright red eyes was jumping on top of the mattress. 

Josh jumped, almost falling back off the bed. “Holy Shit.” The wolf- _Tyler_ \- tilted it’s head, panting. He lay down on the bed trying to show Josh he wasn’t going to hurt him. 

Cautiously Josh reached out a hand, arching his arm like he thought Tyler would bite him, before running his fingers between his ears. As he came into contact with soft fur he realised that this was most definitely real. Tyler shifted closer to sniff at Josh’s arm before rubbing his head along his arm. Josh continued to pet Tyler with a freaked-out expression. 

“Okay this isn’t weird at all…. I’m petting my boyfriend…. because he’s a wolf…. My boyfriend’s a wolf.” Josh muttered mainly to himself but Tyler let out a small sound, as though warning him not to freak out. Josh looked at his wolf form as Tyler tilted his head, ears cocking. “Okay… you’re kinda cute.” Josh reasoned and Tyler seemed mildly offended sitting up and almost barking. Josh laughed a little bit before covering his face with his hand. “This is ridiculous.” He whined into his hands. 

Tyler backed off the bed, obviously assessing the situation to be spiralling again. The wolf pulled one of the blankets off by the mouth. It landed on top of him and when Josh next looked over Tyler was standing up back in human form, wrapped in the blanket to keep his modesty. He sat beside Josh pulling his head into his covered lap and running soothing fingers through his hair. 

“It’s a lot to take in, it’s okay.” Tyler promised, just relieved that Josh didn’t seem to be running for the hills. 

There was a long silence as Tyler continued to play with Josh’s hair before Josh finally got the courage to ask more questions. 

“So, the guy that attacked me was Spencer? Like Spencer from homeroom?” Josh asked. 

“Mhmm.” Tyler confirmed, still playing with Josh’s bleached curls. 

“Why did he attack me, did I do something wrong?” Josh asked worried. “He’s not gonna try again, is he?”

Tyler shook his head, pressing a kiss to Josh’s forehead. “You’re safe now. You didn’t do anything and he won’t try again he’s not allowed to.” 

Josh raised his eyebrows looking at Tyler expectantly. Tyler sighed before he kept talking, shifting so he was lay face to face with Josh instead. 

“The current Alpha, he’ll be the one who told Spencer to attack you, he wants me to turn you, spencer was just meant to provide incentive.” Tyler looked away from Josh. 

“But you didn’t make me a wolf?” Josh asked confused. 

“I told you Josh I can’t do that to you, I could never bear to watch you in that much pain it would-it would kill me.” Josh reached out for Tyler’s hands instinctively and Tyler was grateful when their fingers interlocked. “Spencer can’t attack you again, he submitted to me when I commanded him away, his loyalty to me now overrides any other alpha’s commands. Before that he’d been pretty good at not giving into my alpha status, hence why we kept fighting at school.”

Josh nodded, licking his lips as he considered his next question. “So Brendon saved me back there? That was Brendon? And he’s an alpha too?”

Tyler nodded squeezing his hands. “He never wanted to stop hanging out with you, but he couldn’t tell you anything, and he hadn’t completely got a handle on everything. He can explain himself though, this conversation is better had between just you two.”

Josh nodded. “Yeah I guess so…” There was an awkward pause. “What did you mean with all that stuff about me being your mate?” 

Tyler’s eyes widened, blushing. “Urm… well every Alpha has an Omega mate, like their soulmate, for Betas it’s another Beta. It’s like you don’t even have to try with them, everything comes naturally, loving them comes naturally. I always know when you need me even when we’re apart, I know when you lie to me, whenever you’re upset I get this anger like I want to kill anyone or anything that hurts you.” 

Josh’s heart hammered in his chest.

“Dallon told me it gets more intense when you’re both wolves but it’s better too, like you’re better at assessing the situations. You learn to pick your battles, but maybe that’s more because you’d be an omega, you’d get better at reading me too.” Tyler shrugged. 

“So if something happened to me…”

“Don’t.” Tyler practically growled, his grip on Josh’s hands tightening. 

Josh swallowed thickly. “Okay.” He said softly, with a sense of finality. 

Tyler tilted his head in confusion. “Okay?” 

“You can kiss me now. I don’t need to be a wolf to know you’re my soulmate, Tyler. Now kiss me.” 

Tyler’s eyes softened with relief before he was leaning forward and pressing their lips together. Their hands lay latched together between their bodies but Josh continued to push forward, eager. Josh moaned as Tyler’s tongue brushed his, trying to let go of Tyler’s hands so he could run his fingers through his hair but Tyler held onto him tighter, pulling away. His heart stuttered at the sight of Josh’s swollen lips and flushed skin. 

“Okay, you need to rest now.” Tyler said and Josh whined. 

“What, why?” 

“Because I’ve been taking your pain away ever since you held my hands and I really need to let go now.” Tyler whimpered as though finally letting go of his tough persona. Josh gasped and looked down at their hands for the first time, clocking the black veins running up Tyler’s tensed arms. He instantly ripped his hands away. 

“Oh my gosh did I hurt you, I can’t believe you didn’t say anything.” Josh smacked Tyler’s arm lightly, but Tyler simply gave him a sheepish smile. 

“It’s okay, it was bearable. Rather me than you.” He shrugged and Josh kissed him, his whole body suddenly feeling like it’d been hit by a truck, or you know, ravaged by a wolf. 

Tyler kissed his forehead and pulled the bedsheets up around him, tucking him in. He got up and Josh reached out for him worried. 

“I’m just gonna put my clothes back on, then I’ll come cuddle.” Tyler assured. Dashing into the bathroom to throw on his clothes. Josh was half asleep already when he returned, as soon as Tyler slipped under the sheets with him, he scooted around so that Tyler could spoon him. Tyler smiled and kissed his shoulder as he snuggled closer. When he could feel Josh teetering on the edge of sleeve, he wrapped his arms more firmly around him and took some more of his pain, allowing him to relax into a well needed rest. 

“Love you.” Tyler whispered into his neck, before allowing himself to drift to sleep too, exhausted from the stress and worry of the past few hours.


	13. Bed (cont.)

Josh was woken by Tyler flinching. 

“What? What is it?” He asked confused trying to turn around but Tyler’s arm stopped him, pinning him to the bed. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled settling back down, loosening his grip. “Your mom just got home.”  
Josh rolled over so they were face to face. “Let me guess…. Super hearing?” Josh raised an eyebrow teasingly. 

“Enhanced hearing.” Tyler blushed. “Your mom is coming upstairs do I need to hide?” Tyler said with wide eyes. 

Josh shook his head, clutching him tighter instinctively. “I don’t know how to explain my battle wounds?”

“You got jumped walking home but you managed to fight them off?” Tyler whispered quickly, eyes instantly shifting to the door the second it started opening. Both boys sat up awkwardly. 

They’d fallen asleep with the light on, so Josh realised he actually had no idea what time it was. He’d gotten home before 6 but who knows how many hours he and Tyler had slept for. If his mom was home, he could only assume it was late.

His mother seemed to be shocked to find a second boy in her son’s bed. But any annoyance that Josh was in bed with a boy was completely thrown out the window when she saw the scratches on Josh’s arms and face. Tyler had changed him after he passed out, cleaning his wounds, meaning he wasn’t covered in so much blood and dirt now. But he knew he still looked bad. 

“Joshua, what happened?” She gasped, immediately walking into the room to inspect his wounds. She gave a look to Tyler, eyeing him warily. 

“I-I got jumped on the way home.” Josh lied, his mother seemed to believe him, her eyes brimming with tears. 

“Are you okay? Do I need to get the first aid kit?” She fretted. 

“Mom, it’s okay, I’m okay I-I managed to fight them off, and Tyler came and got me, my bike has a flat.” The last part wasn’t a lie and Josh hoped that it would help keep the lie believable to his mother. 

His mother turned to Tyler who put on his most charming smile. 

“Thank you for looking after him.” She said, wiping her eyes and Tyler gently put his arm around Josh. 

“Of course, Mrs. Dun I’ll always keep his safe.” He promised and Josh’s mom smiled fondly at the way Josh blushed. 

“Okay.” She checked Josh over again, asking him questions about his injuries which Josh downplayed to stop her stressing so much. He continued to insist he would be fine. 

“Well, it’s nearly two am so you boys should get to sleep.” She sighed before getting up and heading out the room. 

“You’re okay taking everyone to school tomorrow, I’m back in work at 9 but I can still get up earlier if you want to take it easy?”

Josh instantly shook his head. “No, mom you need to sleep, I’ll be fine.” He promised and Tyler pulled him closer as if to show Mrs Dun that he was there to help, she nodded with a guilty smile and began closing the door. 

Right as the door was supposed to shut it swung open. “Oh and boys? No funny business okay?” She added with a pointed look to both boys before leaving. They both went bright red, Tyler instantly removing his arm from around Josh. 

“That went better than expected.” Josh mumbled through his yawn. Tyler chuckled, stifling his own yawn. 

“Think she likes me.” He added, proudly. Josh just rolled his eyes fondly, before starting to get out of bed. 

Tyler immediately followed him, nervous whenever they were apart that Josh was going to have a freak out or simply not come back. 

“Tyler relax I just have to pee.” Josh said, before shutting the bathroom door in his face. Tyler blushed and went back to bed waiting for Josh. His head perked up when Josh returned a few minutes later. 

He flicked the light off before climbing back into bed with Tyler. Josh settled his head on Tyler’s chest, when he felt Tyler rubbing his cheek into his hair. 

“Is that another wolf thing?” Josh mumbled tiredly into Tyler’s shirt, already half asleep. 

Tyler was glad the lights were out because he was bright red with embarrassment. “Kinda, sorry.”

“It’s fine, it makes me feel safe.” Josh added, pressing a kiss to Tyler’s jaw, unable to reach his lips in the dark. 

“Me too.” Tyler replied softly before kissing Josh’s nose and going to sleep. 

The next morning Tyler woke with a start, instantly realising Josh wasn’t in bed with him. Before he could get out of bed Josh walked in with Abigail trailing behind him holding her hairbrush out. She was wearing a school uniform, she seemed un-phased that Tyler was in Josh’s bed. 

“Josh you promised!” She pouted, Josh rubbed his eyes tiredly. 

“Okay alright, come here.” Josh sighed before sitting on the end of the bed. Abigail stood with her back to him as Josh attempted to comb her hair into braids. He seemed to be struggling and Tyler took pity, shuffling out of the bed to sit beside Josh. 

“Here,” Tyler said softly, untangling Josh’s hands from her hair and braiding it expertly. Josh watched in awe. Tyler laughed at the expression. “I used to do this for my sister.” He explained. 

“JORDAN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM RIGHT THIS INSTANT.” Tyler heard Ashley shouting, he looked at Josh who shot up of the bed. 

Tyler finished up Abigail’s braids while he listened in on Josh berating Ashley for shouting when their mom was trying to sleep. 

“All done.” Tyler smiled, Abi turned to look at him with a toothy smile. 

“Thanks Tyler.” She hugged him and Tyler smiled warmly as he hugged her back. His smile only growing when he saw Josh’s happiness at the sight he’d just discovered. 

“Come on bumblebee, you need to finish getting ready.” Josh said and Abigail pulled away from Tyler to rush out of the room and get ready. 

“Bumblebee?” Tyler questioned. 

Josh shrugged. “Abi, like ah- _bee_ , a bumblebee, Ashley came up with it when Abs was born and dad thought it was wonderful so it stuck.”

Tyler kissed Josh’s shoulder as he sat beside him. 

“Anyways, we need to get ready.” Josh sighed getting up and rooting through his drawers for some clothes. Tyler found his jeans and began pulling them on.

He watched Josh pull a t-shirt over his head, trying not to ogle the strong v-lines that disappeared into Josh’s skinny jeans. 

He deliberately avoided his gaze, looking for his hoodie instead. Josh noticed Tyler looking at his hoodie sheepishly, not looking at Josh. 

“Ty, what’s up?” Josh asked, stepping closer. 

Tyler looked up shyly, before handing the hoodie out to Josh, then ducking his head again, eyes burning a hole into the floor.

Silently Josh took the hoodie and put it on, smiling at how it smelt of Tyler. Tyler visibly relaxed once he was in it. 

“I love you.” Josh reminded him, kissing his boyfriend. 

“I love you too.” Tyler smiled, somehow a lot more awake that a few seconds ago. “You smell like me to other wolves now.” He grinned with pride and Josh laughed. “Everyone knows you’re mine.” Tyler added, pulling Josh in by his waist. 

Josh shivered, he really didn’t want to admit how hot that sounded. Tyler smirked at him.

“Glad you agree.” Tyler smirked easily reading him. Josh smacked him playfully but didn’t complain when Tyler kissed him again, more heatedly. 

They were interrupted by Jordan calling Josh’s name coughing uncomfortably, standing in the door way. He was holding only one shoe in his own uniform. 

Tyler was thankful he’d never had to wear uniform to school, it looked stuffy. 

“I can’t find my other shoe.” He said and Josh sighed, giving Tyler an apologetic look. 

“Check under the bed, I’ll come help in a second.” Josh said. Jordan nodded as he left. 

Josh went about putting his own shoes on, grabbing his school bag, he winced when he realised it was covered in mud and grass stains from last night. 

Tyler grabbed his phone, texting Brendon to make sure he could bring his stuff to school. 

Josh handed Tyler one of his own hoodies, not even giving Tyler chance to react before throwing it over his head while he was distracted. Tyler almost growled when he finally got the hoodie over his head properly. 

Josh laughed, kissing his cheek before running out of the room before Tyler could get his arms free through the sleeves. 

After forcing Abigail to eat the cereal Ashley gave her (“But I want Josh to make it, Josh always makes it.”) Josh piled everyone into his car, Ashley grumbling about having to sit in the back because of Tyler, Jordan wearing whatever black shoes he could find, his school shoe well and truly lost. 

Josh didn’t relax until he was pulling into the high school parking lot. Ashley instantly running from the car to find her friends who were waiting. Josh rolled his eyes. 

“You deal with this every morning?” Tyler asked, taking Josh’s hands once they were out of the car.

“Not always, things were different before dad got sick but when mom needs me to help out I do.” Josh shrugged and Tyler was almost stunned with how easily he just took it in his stride. Josh had a lot on his plate, and while it made him a bit snappy when the tiredness kicked in, he had never once complained, never once taken it out on his siblings. Tyler only felt his heart swell with affection, unable to resist kissing Josh tenderly in the middle of the parking lot. 

Josh pulled away embarrassed. 

“What was that for?” Josh bit his lip. 

“You’re just amazing.” Tyler’s eyes sparkled as Josh stuttered, unable to reply to such a statement out of the blue like that. 

Laughing Tyler slung an arm around Josh’s shoulder guiding him into the main building. 

Brendon found them pretty quickly, handing Tyler his backpack but avoiding Josh’s gaze.

Josh couldn’t help but to stare at Brendon. Suddenly the image of the ashy grey wolf that saved Josh last night flashed in his mind and Josh took a step back. The memory of being attacked coming back in flashes of snarling teeth and glowing eyes and blood. Tyler instinctively turned to him, putting a hand on his cheek. Josh couldn’t seem to get his breathing under control, not sure why he was being attacked by the sudden memories, he’d been fine. 

But now he was seeing Brendon in a whole new light, his best friend since he was five years old wasn’t the same kid anymore. He’d gone through this before when Brendon had gone missing, he was scared for his friend, afraid he’d never see him again, his _only_ friend. Josh was alone in the world, and what was worse was that Brendon’s return hadn’t solved that worry, but rather confirmed it. 

Josh looked at Brendon’s worried expression before Brendon was unfreezing and pushing Tyler aside to take Josh’s shoulders and guide him out the way of other people. “Josh do you remember that time I almost fell off the roof of taco bell?” Josh gasped for air unable to focus. “ _Josh_ , think back, it was last summer. You dared me to climb the sign.” Brendon tried again. Josh squeezed his eyes shut before trying to speak through his straining lungs. 

“Y-you dared yourself to do it.” Josh said back and Brendon smirked. 

“Yeah I did, but you didn’t stop me.” 

“I didn’t think you’d do it.” Josh whined and Brendon gave him a knowing look. 

“We both know full well you knew I would. Then what happened?” Brendon pushed. 

“You slipped, spent the next twenty minutes hanging off the ‘A’ until some guy in a pick-up saw you and brought a ladder.” Josh explained and Tyler tried to stifle his laugh, trying to be a silent observer in the situation. 

“And what else?”

“W-when they brought you down, you’d wet yourself.” Josh said with a breathless chuckle. 

“Yeah I did.” Brendon smiled. “You’re gonna be okay Josh.” Brendon said patting him on the shoulder before stepping back. 

Josh hadn’t even realised he’d stopped hyperventilating until that moment and he slumped against Tyler when he put an arm around him, relieved Josh was okay. They rested their foreheads together while Josh finished calming himself before Josh pulled away to look at his old friend. 

“Thanks, Bren.” 

“Oh, don’t thank me it was nothing.” Brendon sniffed with a small smile. 

“Not for that, for that day. That was the day after dad was diagnosed, I know you only did that to distract me.” Josh said and Brendon’s face became unreadable. Tyler suddenly felt like he was intruding on something personal, some secret non-verbal language seemingly exchanged between the two boys with just their eyes. 

Suddenly Josh was letting go of Tyler to hug Brendon which Brendon returned instantly. Josh pulled away with a cough, trying to act all tough and like that wasn’t the softest thing he’d ever done. 

Tyler kissed him briefly teasing him. Which Josh poked his tongue out in response to.

“I think we need to talk after school?” Brendon suggested and Josh nodded.


	14. Brendon

_Brendon was born to Grace and Boyd Urie. His family moved him when he was just five years old to Ohio. He’d only moved in a few days when the neighbours had been having a garden party. He was caught staring over the garden fence with curiosity and next thing he knew his mother was shoving him into a shirt and making him hold a bunch of flowers on the neighbour’s doorstep._

_Once he made it to the back garden a boy his age with big brown curls and hazel eyes was running up to him._

_“I’m Josh!” He smiled._

_“I’m Brendon.”_

_“Do you want to see something cool?” Josh had asked and Brendon had nodded, letting Josh take his chubby arm in his own equally chubby fist and lead him down the garden, weaving in and out of the adults to where there was a smaller girl playing in the dirt, a much older woman trying to stop her from putting the fistfuls into her mouth._

_“Joshua dear, did you find a friend?” The elderly woman asked and Josh nodded._

_“His name is Brenon… Bren non… Bren-” Josh huffed unable to say the name._

_“Brendon, silly.” Brendon replied and Josh smiled widely at him._

_“Can I show him what I found?” He asked the woman excitedly, bouncing on his feet, unaware he was still holding Brendon’s hand._

_She nodded. “No touching, just looking, I don’t want you ruining your lovely clothes.”_

_Josh nodded and dragged Brendon over to the flowerbeds, before pointing at the various bugs crawling around._

_“Cool!” Brendon gasped as the two marvelled over the bugs._

_“Joshua, are you behaving?” His mother asked as he and Brendon play fought._

_Josh looked at his hands guiltily. “Yes momma.”_

_Brendon looked just as guilty and Grace Urie chuckled at the two pouting boys._

_“They make quite a pair.”_

_“Indeed.” Josh’s dad laughed._

_From that day on the two boys were inseparable. Playing in each other’s backyards, talking over the fence when they weren’t allowed to go see one another._

_They played at the park and when Josh got a new rocket ship, Brendon brought all his alien toys over and they played for hours in Josh’s room, making up space adventures._

_“My mom has a baby growing inside her tummy. Dad says it’s because she ate it but Nana said that’s not what happened.” Josh whispered as the two boys watched his mother over the back of the couch curiously._

_“So that’s where babies come from?” Brendon whispered. Josh shrugged._

_When Jordan was born, Josh slept over at Brendon’s house, the two staying up talking until they got caught._

_They both watched the baby with scrunched noses and confused eyes._

_“I don’t remember Ashley being this small.” Josh said and Brendon nodded._

_“Babies are weird.” Brendon replied getting a laugh from Laura Dun._

_The two boys went through pre-school together, and middle school. Their time turning from rocket ships and climbing frames to exploring the neighbourhood on their bikes and playing video games together._

_But as they grew older things grew with them. Ashley drifted from wanting to join in with their games, Jordan grew to take her place as their third musketeer, even if he just sat around throwing his own toys around. They shed their puppy fat, watched Star Wars for the first time. They were together through every scraped knee and birthday and major life event. But that also meant they were together for every bad day, there when Josh first started developing his anxiety, there when Brendon was diagnosed with ADHD. They held hands through distant relatives’ deaths, and bullies._

_They didn’t have many friends but they only needed each other. They talked about girls and when they reached puberty and found that maybe boys were cute too they talked about that. They rarely fell out and immediately made up five minutes later when they did._

_They were alone in the world but for each other._

_Half way through middle school when Brendon’s parents began fighting, neglecting him, Josh invited Brendon into his home with open arms, playing video games or teaching each other instruments until Josh’s mom forced them to bed, fighting parents forgotten._

_Brendon was there when Josh began assembling his first drum kit at twelve years old, helping him rake the lawn and such to get pocket money._

_Josh was first to know when Brendon’s parents were divorcing, first to know that his parents were moving to separate houses. Thankfully he only had to move with his mom a mile away so as they grew older, and got their permits they were still able to hang out._

_High school saw them as wallflowers but they didn’t mind, they had each other, after school before it, it wasn’t important. They were there for Brendon’s first kiss with a girl named Sarah behind the bleachers at fifteen. They were there for their first high school party at sixteen._

_When Josh’s dad had been diagnosed with cancer, Josh had walked to Brendon’s house in the rain, he was sopping wet on the doorstep when Brendon answered the door. He didn’t speak for hours, just sat in Brendon’s room staring off, but Brendon waited patiently for the confession to slip out and when it did, he wrapped himself around his best friend and held him as he sobbed on the floor._

_The next day he drove them to taco bell and got stuck climbing the sign, wetting himself with fear –not the first time he’d done that in front of Josh- but the tears of laughter were more than worth the sheer embarrassment of having to attempt to dry his crotch in the taco bell toilets under the dryer while adults gave him funny looks._

_As Josh’s dad got sicker, Brendon was by his side._

_When Josh started to seem to spiral, Brendon helped, he helped Josh take care of his siblings during the long nights at the hospital. He saved Josh from himself more than once._

_When Josh needed to get drunk, Brendon let him, watching him, staying sober and driving him to the cornfields to scream out at the sky and stargaze. Brendon held Josh up when his knees gave out, when he left his father’s hospital room for the last time, when he sobbed so hard no sound even came out._

_Brendon stood by Josh’s side when his entire world fell apart, and he’d do it all again in a heartbeat._

_Brendon met Dallon in the record store he worked in over the summer. He found him cute but never expected him to come back to the store, no matter how shamelessly he flirted as he rung up his death cab vinyl._

_“You like death cab?” Brendon had asked and Dallon had shook his head._

_“Present for a friend actually but they’re not bad.” Brendon nodded, handing him the receipt. He noticed the at-the-time-nameless guy’s hand linger on his as he took it._

_Brendon was pleasantly surprised when he came back two days later, and most days after that too, until the two were actually friends._

_Brendon had been walking home after his last shift at the store, closing up for the night. It was just starting to get dark as he walked to his car._

_He heard a strange noise coming from an alleyway between the store and the one beside it. He stopped to see what it was, thinking it was probably a stray that had fallen into the dumpster._

_He heard his name called from behind him and as he turned something jumped him. He instantly blacked out as his head hit the wall._

_When he came-to he felt intense pain coursing through his arm, he tried to move but his whole body screamed against it. Dallon’s face came into view but then reality was slipping away again._

_He fell in and out of consciousness frequently for the next few days, when he was awake he was in agony, he felt the pain being drawn out of his body weirdly, like it was coursing through his veins until it evaporated but he immediately lost consciousness once it was gone._

_Dallon kept talking to him, and Brendon prayed his soothing words weren’t just for show, he felt like he would never stop feeling the burning agony. Dallon’s voice was the only thing he could cling to when he was awake, it was soothing and calm and it made him feel as safe as he could in the given situation._

_He was confused when he started to hear a second voice, one he recognised vaguely._

_When Brendon woke up to a new world, a world where he could transform his entire body into one of a wolf, where his eyes glowed orange when he didn’t mean to, when he could hear, smell and sense things from miles away by accident. It was a big change. If Dallon and Tyler hadn’t helped him he didn’t know what he would do._

_He’d wanted so desperately to go home to his mom, but he held off, scared to lose control, she’d thought he’d been visiting his dad across town while he was away, and Brendon had never found out who to thank for that._

_He wanted to go to Josh, to tell him everything but he couldn’t tell anyone, Tyler had told him not to and it was as though an invisible force closed up his throat anytime the words threatened to come out, like he physically couldn’t anymore._

_When Josh questioned him he’d already been trying to get his sensory overload under control, Tyler’s voice an anchor. He’d struggled with being apart from Josh especially when Tyler kept asking about him._

_Dallon and he had grown closer since Dallon had explained things, and he quickly found himself seeking Dallon out even when he hadn’t meant to. He seemed much better in control when Dallon was close and that only pulled them closer together, like magnets._

_When Dallon had explained how mates worked, Brendon hadn’t needed any confirmation that Dallon was his, he’d immediately scrambled across the length of the couch to pull Dallon’s head down to his level. The kiss had been everything and more, it was like something in Brendon seemed to click into place and somehow he_ knew _it was the same for Dallon._

_They’d vowed not to go further than kissing until Brendon was eighteen, Dallon wanting to do everything right and Brendon far too whipped to deny him anything._

_When the anniversary of Josh’s dad’s passing rolled around, Brendon couldn’t stand being away from him anymore. He’d tried to talk to his best friend, to show he was there for him, but Josh had only pushed him away._

_“Not today, Brendon” He’d said. “I can’t do this today.” Brendon out of respect had backed off._

_“What was that? Something’s wrong with Josh?” Tyler had questioned, even tried to alpha command it out of Brendon, but he kept his resolve. Just because Josh didn’t want him in his life anymore didn’t mean that Brendon should give out information that was always only Josh’s to share._

_“This is a rough day for him, he needs you, the real you that cares about him. That’s all I’m gonna say okay?” Brendon said, shrugging Tyler off and sulking off to class. He was sad too, he’d grieved too, Bill Dun had been a better father figure to him than his own ever had, he’d lost someone dear too, but he’d stayed strong for Josh, he’d stayed strong because he didn’t get to make this about himself, not this._

_He wasn’t very shocked when he saw Josh bolt out of the classroom, but he was surprised when he got a call at the beginning of his class from Tyler, he excused himself and answered. Immediately going to find Ashley and pull her out of class because Josh needed her._

_“We haven’t seen you at home lately.” She said, her voice drained, obviously handling the day not much better than Josh._

_“Yeah, I’m sorry. Josh needs you.” He replied, before leading her to her brother. He’d almost broken down when they were reunited, but he kept himself together. They were his family too and he’d been taken away from them, things would never go back to how they had been; to mud-pies and worms and Disney cartoons, to bike rides and family holidays to the beach._

_He’d continued to help Tyler get close to Josh, wanting someone to take care of him, since Brendon still couldn’t get as close as he’d used to. He’d panicked when he realised Josh was suspicious, catching him in the library searching alpha wolves, but Tyler had told him to just trust him to protect Josh, that was his only plan._

_Brendon pretended not to be hurt when Tyler told him of Josh’s reaction to their relationship, especially when he hadn’t meant to kiss him, it was habit, it was right and yet he knew other people didn’t understand, he couldn’t stop loving Dallon even if he wanted to._

_When Tyler had had to stay home, Brendon was thankful for the alpha command to look after him. He knew he was almost smothering Josh, going beyond a simple command, because he missed his best friend, he missed the only person in the world (until Dallon –who had an advantage) who knew exactly what he was thinking and feeling._

_Brendon had supported Tyler in his fights to protect Josh, he’d experienced first-hand what the head alpha wanted to do him and he’d never stand for it. He only stopped Tyler from pushing too far, from getting so angry he did something he’d regret or worse, pushed Josh away._

_When Tyler had mentioned Spencer was missing he’d been out the door before Tyler could even suggest it. He ruined his favourite t-shirt turning, immediately saving Josh. He fought, knowing he’d probably end up with a scar on his arm. He was knocked unconscious, but when he came too he was ready to fight again. He was relieved when he didn’t need to, when he understood Tyler expected him to escort Spencer back to the pack. He glanced at his best friend, bloody and terrified, watching him with panic in his eyes. For a second Brendon wanted to comfort him to be the one to tell him everything but he had no choice but to let Tyler do it, to do what Tyler needed and leave. Regretfully he left, slinking after Spencer into the forest._

_“You’re a dick.” He barked at Spencer who simply huffed and kept walking._

_He’d spent most of the night awake, worried to death about Josh. He only relaxed enough to sleep when Dallon was climbing in through his bedroom window. Wrapping his arms around him and holding him while he felt like the world might fall apart. Dallon not just holding him but holding the whole universe together it seemed._

_“I love you so much. You saved him. Josh is safe.” Dallon repeated, until Brendon finally fell asleep._

_When he saw Josh the next morning, he had felt too guilty to look him in the eye, it only worsening when Josh started to have a panic attack. Brendon knew he couldn’t sit by, he knew Tyler wasn’t able to just alpha this away. He knew Josh, this wasn’t just some anxiety, this was his best friend spiralling and Brendon knew exactly what to do to bring him back from the edge. So, he pushed Tyler aside and pulled Josh back from wherever he was disappearing inside himself._

_“Thanks, Bren.” The old nickname had filled him with a warmth he’d not felt for a while._

_“…it was nothing.” He’d brushed it off._

_“Not for that, for that day.” Josh had continued, and finally Brendon watched the wall crumble. The wall that Josh usually built around himself to protect himself against the world since his dad died, the wall Brendon had always been on the inside of until he disappeared and came back to a changed world where suddenly he was on the outside instead._

_He’d got his best friend back, the relief was almost enough to make him collapse, but he kept it together. So he’d found Josh at the end of the school day, driven to his house, picked him up and taken him to that very same taco bell where he’d pissed his pants. They sat on the bonnet of his car as the stared out at the sign and the sky above it, and they had their first heart to heart in months._

_So maybe Brendon was different, maybe he was a wolf and he had more friends to depend on, and maybe he had someone to love him so completely that he could forget other people existed. But none of it had ever felt right, like everything was in 2D, made of paper, fake. That was until he got his best friend back. They’d never go back to mud-pies and rocket ships and garden worms, but they’d been done with those long before the world had shifted. Brendon had started looking through life like it was on the other side of the mirror everything flipped, and now Josh was on the same side, he realised it wasn’t a mirror, it was simply a sheet of glass. Together they could shatter it, the thought was freeing._

_They were free, to continue forward together once again. Tyler and Dallon could just be their other musketeers._

_“They’re called the three musketeers Bren.” Josh laughed._

_“Yeah but there always was four of them?” Brendon replied biting into his taco._

_“Fair enough, four musketeers it is.” Josh shrugged, eating his own burrito.  
“I’m making a group-chat just to call it that.” _

_“Do not.” Josh said reaching to snatch Brendon’s phone. The fell apart laughing when their wrestle over the phone led to the entirety of Brendon’s taco’s insides slopping into his lap and over his car, leading Brendon to crumble the shell into Josh’s hair._

_It wasn’t mud-pies but it would do._


	15. Parking Lot

Josh and Brendon sat together on the bonnet of Brendon’s car as they wasted more time outside Taco Bell. Brendon had managed to clean up the mess on his car with napkins, Josh simply laughing at him the whole time instead of helping. 

“I missed you, man.” Brendon laughed, sipping from his coke can. 

Josh smiled and continued to lie back on the windshield. “Missed you too, Bren.”

“Hey, so I just want you to know that, even though he literally tried to alpha command it out of me, I never told Tyler anything personal.” Brendon assured.

Josh smile dropped, but not because he was mad at Brendon, simply because he was reminded of the baggage he constantly carried lately. 

“Thanks.” He said, his voice small. 

Brendon sat up to look at him properly. “Listen, you know it’s okay to tell him this stuff, right? If he feels even half as much for you and I do for Dallon then I can promise you he will help, telling him will help.” Brendon promised and Josh looked away from his best friend. 

“What if it’s not okay? I already put you through more than I ever should have.” Josh mumbled. 

Brendon shook his head, turning to look out at the parking lot. “Nah, that’s not true at all. You could’ve been much worse and I wouldn’t have blamed you.”

“I thought that was why you left, I figured you’d finally given up. I didn’t blame you.” After he finished speaking Josh sat up, getting off the car bonnet. Brendon instinctively moved to stand up too, pulling Josh around to face him. 

He took in the broken expression on Josh’s face and immediately pulled him into a hug. 

“Not to sound gay but I love you man, I would never give up on you.” Brendon assured. Josh scoffed over his shoulder. “Actually, fuck it, full homo I love you man.” Brendon replied, pulling Josh’s head to face his, pulling an over dramatic kissy face and trying to kiss Josh. Josh laughed and tried to shove him off. 

“My heart belongs to another, Bren I can’t.” Josh said back as Brendon got extremely close to kissing his mouth, he struggled some more, almost squealing. 

“You’re hurting my feelings Joshua.” Brendon teased before placing a massive sloppy kiss on Josh’s cheek instead of lips at the last second. He released Josh who stumbled back, wiping his cheek. 

“Twelve years later and you’re still _grossly_ in love with me, huh?” Josh said sarcastically, emphasizing the word gross as he wiped his cheek with his sleeve again. 

Brendon rolled his eyes. “Nah you’re not my type,” Brendon pretended to check him out, cocking his head with mock disgust. “Tyler can keep you.”

“He’s honoured I’m sure.” Josh rolled his eyes. 

“He is actually.” Brendon said the humour gone from his voice. Josh looked up at him intently. “Dude, Dallon doesn’t shut up about how intense your bond must be for Tyler to be such a lovesick puppy like he is. It’s kinda hilarious, he’s so whipped anyone would think you’re the alpha here.” 

Josh scoffed and smacked Brendon’s arm. But he couldn’t help the fond fuzziness that grew in his chest. 

“No, but full transparency?” Brendon asked, eyebrows raised. Josh nodded. “Tyler won’t just listen, he’ll stay and he’ll help and honestly Josh, you can trust him.” He assured and Josh simply bit his lip in thought before nodding slower this time. “Plus,” Brendon continued, lightening the mood. “I bet he’s _really_ good in bed.”

“You’re disgusting.” Josh shrieked, his voice raising multiple octaves. He was bright red as Brendon laughed heartily. Josh reached out to smack him but Brendon used his new reflexes to dodge him, a small play fight breaking out between the two of them, like they were kids in Josh’s garden again. 

“Take me home you idiot.” Josh said playfully after they’d calmed down their laughter and stopped tussling. Throwing his now empty coke can at Brendon’s head. 

Brendon blinked. 

“Ya know what,” He said calmly as Josh sniggered. “I’m not even gonna bite back.”

“Oh, and you do love biting, now don’t you?” Josh retorted. 

“Keep going Josh, see where it gets you.” Brendon replied, his eyes glowing orange. Josh was shocked into silence as Brendon’s eyes drained back to their natural brown and he was laughing for what was probably the hundredth time that afternoon. 

“Dick.” Josh muttered before getting into the car. 

Brendon chuckled to himself, resisting the urge to tease Josh for his sulking, instead putting on one of Josh’s favourite songs on his aux cord. Josh smiled to himself, trying to hide it by looking out the window. 

When Brendon dropped Josh home he was surprised to see his mother’s car in the driveway. He headed in through the front door when he felt something brush behind him. He turned to catch a black shape running behind him, he almost yelped. He turned to watch it move further into the house, before realising it was a black wolf currently making it’s way up the stairs. Josh’s jaw dropped as he watched what he assumed must be Tyler sauntering up his stairs like it was the most casual thing in the world. 

Just then he heard his mother call his name, he panicked, shutting the front door behind himself and looking from where Tyler was halfway up the stairs to where his mother was just poking his head out of the door. 

“MOM.” He shouted desperate to stop her from noticing the animal on her staircase, she jumped and looked at him. 

“Josh honey, why are you shouting, are you okay?” She said flustered. 

Josh risked a glance with just his eyes to see Tyler had slinked off into his room, and visibly relaxed. “Y-yeah I’m fine just… shocked to see you, I thought you were at work.” 

“They let me off early if I agreed to be on-call tonight so I came home.” She said. “How are you feeling?” She questioned pressing her hand to his forehead to test his temperature. “You’re a little clammy, are you in any pain?” His mother pulled his arms out to inspect the scratches but he was quick to pull them away. 

“Mom I’m fine. I have homework can I go?” He said already starting for the stairs. 

“Okay, love you.” His mom replied after him. 

“Love you too momma.” Josh stopped and ran down the few steps he’d taken to place a kiss on her cheek before running up the stairs. 

When he got into his room he shut the door before glaring at where Tyler sat, still in wolf form panting and staring up at his drawers. He looked to Josh and then the drawers again, kneading his paws and whining. 

Josh walked over to the drawers still completely exasperated. “What? What is it?” He asked and Tyler yipped at him, sniffing up at the drawer he wanted and Josh huffed, pulling it open to realise it was his sock drawer, then it clicked. “Oh. You need boxers?” He looked down at Tyler who stood up and yipped again. Josh couldn’t help but smile at the way he seemed to bounce on his feet, he really was just a giant puppy. 

“Did you really need to sneak in? I almost had a heart attack.” Josh huffed as he tried to side step Tyler to get to the right drawer, he almost stood on his tail and Tyler let out a low growl, Josh growled right back, sarcastically mimicking him. “Don’t give me that, my mom almost saw you.” He added grabbing boxers and holding them out to Tyler.

The wolf sniffed at them for a second before taking them into his mouth. He then picked up some other clothes Josh knew he’d stolen from the bottom of his wardrobe with his mouth and padded off to the bathroom. Emerging a minute later, in human form, pulling Josh’s favourite NASA t-shirt over his head already wearing a pair of grey basketball shorts. 

Josh folded his arms, deliberately not looking at Tyler. 

“Stop sulking, you’re too cute to sulk.” Tyler teased as he approached his boyfriend. When he was close enough he reached out and pulled a stray piece of taco shell out of Josh’s hair causing him to blush. Then Tyler began to run his hands along Josh’s biceps slowly, squeezing a little as his hands slipped under his t-shirt sleeves then back down again. “I wanted to make sure everything went okay with Brendon.”

Josh sighed and caved, turning to look at Tyler. “Stop trying to take my pain. I’m not hurting right now.” He gave Tyler a pointed look and Tyler removed his hands holding them up in surrender. 

“Just care about you.” Tyler mumbled, stepping back. 

Josh instinctively grabbed onto the front of his t-shirt, yanking him close again which made Tyler smirk knowingly, laughing a little. 

“Hate you.” Josh mumbled as he wrapped his arms around Tyler’s neck. 

“Love you, and your stubbornness, too baby.” Tyler replied with a kiss to Josh’s nose, which made Josh scrunch it up in that adorable way that made Tyler’s heart flutter. 

Tyler lead Josh over to the bed sitting back against the wall and gesturing for Josh to climb into his lap, which he did. Josh moved his leg over to straddle his boyfriend, letting his knees bracket Tyler’s hips before resting his head on Tyler’s shoulder tiredly. The position was instinctive, it was familiar and safe and Josh’s favourite way to be close to Tyler, as it allowed him to take in the earthy pine smell that Tyler gave off. Josh nosed at his neck wrapping his arms tightly around Tyler’s shoulders to hold him as close as possible. The action brought so much comfort he felt something akin to relief trickle down his spine, relaxing. 

“Tired?” Tyler asked as he began rubbing his hands soothingly up his back. Josh had a habit of falling asleep in this position, not that Tyler minded, it made him bristle with pride that he could simultaneously protect and comfort his love. 

Josh shook his head, hugging tighter. Tyler hugged back, worried. He tensed when he felt Josh let out a sob into his shoulder. 

“Josh? Baby?” Tyler asked nudging Josh so that he would look at him, his heart snapped as he saw the tears spilling down Josh’s cheeks. He kissed them away. 

“Sorry, I’m such a cry baby.” Josh tried to laugh. 

“Crying isn’t a bad thing Josh; it proves you care about stuff.” Tyler soothed, wiping more tears with gentle brushes of his knuckles. “Is this because of Brendon? Did something happen when you were talking?” Tyler asked concerned. 

Josh shook his head. Sniffing heavily and wiping his nose with his sleeve. 

“Okay, well I love you.” Tyler reminded with a kiss to Josh’s forehead. Josh fisted his hands into the nasa shirt Tyler was wearing, clinging as he cried some more at the feeling of love that settled in his chest. “We can just cuddle forever instead of talking, okay?” Tyler smiled and Josh smiled despite himself as Tyler pulled him into another hug. 

“Don’t ever let go.” Josh mumbled snotty-nosed and still sobbing a little.   
“Never.” Tyler almost growled and held Josh tighter. 

Josh used the long hug to let his mind race, trying to find the strength within himself to speak, but his throat was hoarse. 

“Ty?” Josh said, pulling back just enough to rest his head on his shoulder. Tyler hummed and kissed his neck comfortingly, only loosening his grip slightly so that Josh knew he was still safe. 

Slowly Josh lifted his head, it felt groggy from how much he’d cried, like his head was too heavy for his shoulders, but he was determined. He took Tyler’s face into his hands and kissed him passionately, Tyler responded instantly, trying to slow Josh down before he got too carried away. 

Reluctantly Tyler pulled back a little. “Not that I don’t want to kiss you until we die of old age, but I’m worried about you right now.” He smiled shyly as Josh blushed under his intense gaze. 

“I’m scared.” Josh whispered and Tyler held him tighter on instinct resting their foreheads together. His instincts naturally syncing his breathing with Josh’s. 

“When I love people I tend to lose them.” Josh said, liking his lip trying to stop his mouth from drying up so bad. He swallowed hard. “Getting Brendon back just made me realise how badly I coped with him leaving. I-I don’t let people in, he was the only one and he left me, and now I get that he didn’t have a choice and he’s back now but-but you do.”

Tyler went to protest but Josh cut him off, eyes still scrunched shut tight. “Tyler I love you more than I realised a person could, and you say all this stuff about us being soulmates and you make me safe but I’m s-so scared you’re going to realise I’m screwed up and change your mind and I don’t wanna hold you back either.”

“Josh, I literally grow a tail and howl at the moon, there is nothing you could tell me about yourself that would make me leave. When I say, I love you I mean I literally cannot live without you.” Tyler promised making Josh sob more and nod his head. 

He sniffed hard, hiccupping. “Y-you really howl at the moon?” He tried to tease through a water-y laugh. Tyler groaned playfully.

“It was like one time, Brendon started it.” He whined, smiling when Josh laughed. Gently Tyler wiped his cheeks again, pulling Josh a little closer. “You’re so brave Josh. You tell me whenever you’re ready to.”

Josh took a deep breath, finally forcing himself to stop crying. Josh pressed their foreheads together.

“Okay. Do you mind if we talk now?” 

“If you’re sure?” Tyler asked, rubbing their noses together affectionately. 

“I’m ready.”


	16. Josh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi this chapter is very heavy and quite potentially triggering!!!!
> 
> tw/ mentions of self harm, scars, alcohol abuse, grief, death, anxiety and depression.
> 
> please please exercise caution, this was hard to write so i know it wont be easy to read so for that i'm sorry.

_The worst day of Josh’s life wasn’t the day his dad died believe it or not. There was one day he would rank as worse; the day his father told him about his diagnosis._

_Stage Three Lung Cancer._

_It had been caught too late, the cancer was spreading too quickly that he was at risk of entering Stage Four pretty soon._

_When his father had sat him and his siblings down on the couch to tell them they already knew something was up. He’d had a horrible cough for months, but their mother was crying as she sat beside her husband. The last time something like this had happened Josh had been twelve and his mom had told them they were having to put Tiddles their cat down._

_“I’m going to fight this; I’m not done with this life just yet.” Bill Dun said voice thick with emotion as he hugged his youngest daughter. She was only just turned seven, she was too young to have to deal with this._

_Josh couldn’t stop his feet from moving, from standing up and walking out of the house. He walked straight to Brendon’s house, the heavens opening on top of and drenching through his clothes. He was already numb, he didn’t feel it, an eerie calmness settled inside his chest that put him on autopilot._

_“Oh my God Josh dude what happened?” Brendon said in horror as he pulled his sopping wet and shivering best friend into the house. The two boys barely registered Grace Urie telling Laura Dun that her son had arrived at her house and was safe._

_“Do you want to talk about it?” Brendon asked as he wrapped Josh up in towels but Josh continued to stare out of his bedroom window at the rain._

_Brendon waited for a bit, sitting on the end of his bed watching his best friend but after about ten minutes or so he put on a death cab album he kept specifically for Josh, and let the music fill the silence._

_It was almost an hour before Josh suddenly ran towards the trash can in Brendon’s room, Brendon jumped off the bed in time to catch Josh heave the contents of his stomach into it. He instantly rubbed Josh’s back as he threw up. Josh broke down crying then, pushing the bin away to curl in on himself sobbing uncontrollably as Brendon held him._

_When he could finally force sounds out of his mouth he tried to explain to Brendon before only sobbing more as reality sunk into his bones and weighed them down like lead. He felt sure they were and his body had just been thrown into a river, slowly sinking until his lungs filled with water and he couldn’t breathe._

_He cried until he passed out in Brendon’s arms, Grace Urie finding her son curled protectively around his best friend, tears streaming down his own cheeks._

_Brendon took Josh to taco bell the next day and after he’d finally laughed and realised happiness wasn’t impossible Josh went home and fell apart all over again in his father’s arms._

_To say Josh handled the situation well would be a lie. It started with the panic attacks over the smallest things, someone dropped their fork at dinner, his pen wouldn’t work in class, Brendon didn’t text back straight away. The smallest things seemed to derail his entire being, like his world was strung together and the tiniest thing was all it needed to cut the ties and send everything drifting off into the void of space._

_The next stage was shutting down. He stopped talking, eating, sleeping he just sort of existed. Brendon helped him to look after his siblings when his mother was working or at the hospital. Josh helped to care for his father who was weak from chemo, but every interaction with his father just killed off another part of him, pushed him further into himself that even if he screamed as loud as possible he still couldn’t be heard on the outside._

_Brendon spent countless nights sleeping on his bedroom floor, when the third stage turned violent. Josh broke things, he screamed when Ashley got in his way at breakfast, he threw his drum kit out his window one night. He’d broken every set of drum sticks he had playing so hard, breaking the bass drum head sent him over the edge. Brendon said nothing when he caught Josh cutting open his thighs, he simply took the blades from Josh and flushed them. He pealed Josh off the bathroom floor when he collapsed from drinking, stopping him from choking on his own vomit. He never complained, and he didn’t tell Josh’s parents because he didn’t want them to stress. He taught Ashley how to bandage wounds and how to put someone in the recovery position just in case he wasn’t there and the worst happened but thankfully it didn’t._

_Josh doesn’t remember much of it because he was drunk and sick and living dead for most of it, but he knows Brendon should’ve given up on him. But instead Brendon drove him to the hospital and held his hands and talked him down and made him laugh. Josh stabilised after that, the hospital provided counselling helped him to come to terms with his father’s rapidly deteriorating health._

_“Okay, come on.” Brendon said at midnight one night. He forced Josh out of bed and into some clothes. Dragging him out to his car and driving for almost an hour until they were parked in the middle of a cornfield. He pulled Josh out of the car before opening the trunk and thrusting a half empty vodka bottle into his hands._

_Josh stared at it confused, following Brendon as he walked to sit on the front of his car._

_“You’re gonna drink that, and you’re gonna shout and scream and rant until you feel better or you throw up whichever has to happen first.” Brendon said sitting back with his arms folded._

_So, that’s how Josh ended up screaming “Fuck You” at the sky at three in the morning, the almost empty bottle sloshing in his hands. He shouted and cried and kicked at the crops. At one point throwing the bottle off into the distance when it was almost finished, the sky lightening enough for better visibility. He ran full speed to retrieve it, surprised it hadn’t smashed. Brendon played music on his phone while Josh danced around and got lost in the buzz. Running, screaming, crying until he had an empty bottle and a surprisingly clear head, and a good buzz sat beside Brendon._

_When he’d calmed down, he sat and watched the sun rise over the horizon, he wept and Brendon put his arm around his best friend. Josh vowed as he watched the sunrise that he would try again, try to be a better brother and son. He didn’t know how long his father had left and he couldn’t screw around with it anymore, he wouldn’t._

_He hung his head out the window as Brendon drove him home, transatlanticism filling the speakers as he stared up at the pale morning sky, wind rippling through his hair. Josh was alive, he was a living breathing human in that moment, the most human he’d felt in so long and he wasn’t going to waste it._

_That’s how he ended up using hair dye bought at Walmart at 7am to bleach his hair and then dye it bubble-gum pink with Brendon’s help. His dad laughed when he saw it, before hacking out a cough, reaching weakly out to run his hands over it from where he lay in his hospital bed._

_When the pink had faded enough, Josh tried purple, his dad smiled but he was much weaker, already finding talking a struggle._

_On his father’s last good day, he was allowed to be wheeled into the hospital garden so his family could have a picnic all together. Josh will never forget his dad smiling down at him and running a hand through his hair as playfully as he could manage._

__His father passed the next day, his body too weak to keep fighting, Abigail and Jordan were too young they should never have had to see the life leave their father’s body. Josh does remember much tears blurring the image, he just remembers the crushing weight on his chest, the ringing in his ears and he walked out of the room gasping for air. He heard Brendon’s muffled voice as he asked from some far-off place what happened but all Josh could do was crumble to his knees and sob until there was no water left in his body._ _

__He doesn’t know how he got through the next few weeks because he felt like all he did was sleep and hold his siblings tight and cry. Brendon held his hand through the funeral, like the first day they met, like they were five and their only worry was getting dirt on their clothes._ _

__“Bill always said you two made quite the pair.” Laura Dun said with a sad smile as she smoothed out the collar of Brendon’s shirt for him._ _

__The following year was the most miserable of Josh’s life, he worked two jobs so that Ashley only had to work one, he shared the babysitting duties with Ashley so their mom could work extra shifts. Money was tight and time carried on, Josh’s hair faded to blonde and he couldn’t bring himself to put anymore colour on it._ _

__Somewhere along the way Josh had days when he was unable to get out of bed, he had days where all he could do was cry because he didn’t know how to cope, he had days where anyone other than Brendon pushed him over the edge. Then Brendon left him and his one stable crutch was gone, but he forced himself to keep it together this time, because he knew that not doing it would cost him more._ _

__And then Tyler was quite literally forcing his way into Josh’s life, one textbook at a time, and Josh was forced to let someone take care of him. He tried his hardest to fight off his feelings until he had no choice but to let himself have this._ _

__Tyler was safety and warmth; he always knew what Josh needed even when he didn’t seem to know himself. Tyler was that feeling, he was death cab for cutie blasting through the speakers with the wind in his hair and a light buzz in his chest, he was a sunrise and fresh air and feeling the earth still around himself until he felt so alive it hurt._ _

__Tyler was a miracle, he was special and unique and Josh wanted to believe they were meant to be together forever but Tyler didn’t know the Josh who had to peeled off bathroom floors, the Josh who shut down because it was better than the alternative, the overwhelming-ness of everything he felt didn’t seem possible to cope with he was drowning. The Josh who had scars on his thighs and sometimes didn’t want to wake up, because Josh couldn’t put that on someone else. Brendon leaving only confirmed this._ _

__But Tyler had told Josh his biggest secret, Josh knew all of him now and Josh knew that forever was a long time to commit to someone as broken as him and Tyler deserved to know what he wanted to get involved in, so he sat in his lap, crying and trying to let him in, to push back against the crippling fear._ _

__And when he was done, if Tyler left, Josh would know that at least he tried, that at least he had grabbed happiness for the first time in a long, long time. He would thank Tyler for showing him what love was like and he wouldn’t blame him for walking away._ _

__So when Tyler lifted his chin and whispered “I’m here now” and kissed his check, his nose, his forehead, any exposed skin he could find Josh collapsed. He cried and nodded as Tyler promised to love him unconditionally, and lay him down in the bed and held him for dear life._ _

__Josh fell asleep to the steady beat of Tyler’s heart, the gentle brush of Tyler lips on his forehead and his breath across his hair, to the soft whispers of “you’re so brave and strong”, of “I love you more than anything else in the world”. He dreamt of open top car rides and pale skies and soft music and even softer skin as someone kissed his neck and kept him warm. He wasn’t sticking his head out of Brendon’s car, he was sitting on the roof of it and Tyler was holding him close and he wasn’t just alive, he was_ living _and that was infinitely the best feeling in the world.__


	17. Front Porch

When Josh awoke, he was still wrapped up in Tyler’s arms, he nuzzled closer squeezing his boyfriend. He smiled to himself as he felt Tyler rouse and cuddle him back. 

“Morning.” Tyler mumbled into his hair, pressing a kiss there. 

“What time is it?” Josh asked blinking his eyes open, he yawned and stretched but immediately went back to hugging Tyler. 

“Six forty-one to be exact.” Tyler replied with a smile. Josh groaned. 

“Too early.” He mumbled into Tyler’s shoulder.

“Go back to sleep then silly.” Tyler replied rubbing his cheek against Josh’s head. Josh hummed and drifted off still exhausted. 

When he awoke for the second time, Tyler was nudging him awake, his face bright red. 

“Josh, baby, wake up.” Tyler whispered, he looked flustered and Josh was confused until he remembered what he’d just been dreaming about. 

Josh fell out of bed trying to put space between himself and his boyfriend. Instantly Tyler was by his side helping him stand. 

Tyler tried to hide his laughter as Josh sat on his bed, cheeks bright pink up to the tips of his ears and a pillow thrown over his lap. 

“Josh, it’s okay, it happens.” Tyler soothed, reaching a hand out to touch Josh’s shoulder but he flinched away. 

Josh didn’t miss the subtle attempt to adjust himself that Tyler made. His eyes widened. 

“Did I-”

“You were very vocal.” Tyler shrugged and Josh immediately burrowed himself under the covers. 

Tyler sat beside the blanket covered lump carefully. He ran his hands over what he assumed was Josh’s arm. 

“This is humiliating.” Josh said, words muffled by the thick fabrics. 

“I thought it was endearing.” Tyler tried to soothe but Josh imply ripped the covers off his face to give Tyler a look of disbelief. “I’m not gonna pretend it wasn’t even a little hot that you were getting flustered like that while dreaming about me.”  
“I wasn’t- I didn’t-” Josh tried to huff out but Tyler only gave him a look and he snapped his jaw shut hard.

“Just because we’ve not talked about going further than kissing doesn’t mean I don’t _want_ to go further than kissing, Josh.”

Josh blushed again and covered his head with the blankets. Tyler rolled his eyes fondly. 

“ _Iwantthattoo._ ”

“Sorry,” Tyler smirked, leaning closer to his boyfriend. “What was that?”

“Iwantthattoo.”

“No sorry, I’m afraid I can’t hear you over the blankets.” Tyler teased still leaning in close. 

“I said; I want that too.” Josh said loudly, with a frustrated sigh as he ripped off the blankets. He barely had time to gasp at how close Tyler was to him before Tyler’s lips were on his. 

They kissed languidly, Tyler pushing his tongue past Josh’s lips easily, Josh yielding control instantly, shuddering. The only sounds were the thumping of their hearts and the heavy breaths they were taking through their noses so they could keep their lips latched together for as long as possible. 

When they finally pulled apart, Tyler pulled on Josh’s bottom lip with his teeth a little causing him to moan involuntarily. Josh could feel the tingle in his lips that told him they were probably swollen. Tyler looked away from him and Josh sat up a bit. 

“Hey are you okay?”

Tyler took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. He opened them slowly as he turned around. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He smiled and Josh looked at him confused. 

Tyler stared at him with fondness for a while making Josh blush and look down. 

“Go on a date with me?”

Josh’s head snapped up. “What?”

“Let’s go on a date, we never go on real dates, I want it to be special.” Tyler said brushing a stray curl off Josh’s forehead. “And then maybe afterwards, if you’re sure then we could _ya know_.”

Josh blushed as Tyler bit his lip. He nodded frantically and pulled Tyler in for a kiss. 

“I love you.” Josh reminded. 

“I love you more.” Tyler replied nipping at Josh’s nose playfully. 

“So, I’ll be back at four to pick you up.” Tyler said getting up and beginning to strip out of Josh’s clothes. He winked causing Josh to avert his gaze before Tyler could remove his boxers. When Josh turned back Tyler was back in his wolf form standing on the bed. 

He rubbed his head under Josh’s chin, and Josh scratched between his ears. It was weird how like this Josh still loved Tyler but he didn’t see him as Tyler, it was like having a pet, it felt like an extension of his family in the way that all loved pets do, and it made Josh almost miss Tiddles. Tiddles the cat had been a good cuddle buddy (much like Tyler in his wolf form) -when he had been in the mood. 

Josh pressed a platonic kiss to Tyler’s fur before letting him hop off the bed. Tyler looked up at the window, kneading his paws expectantly again. Josh rolled his eyes, getting out of bed and going over to open his window. Tyler deliberately licked Josh’s hand as he passed it and Josh glared. 

“You’re not cute.” He snapped but Tyler stared at him, head cocked in that way that all dogs do to make humans melt, as if just to prove a point. 

“Human Tyler is cuter.” Josh huffed, poking his tongue out and Tyler growled playfully back before hopping up into the window. Before the wolf slipped out of the house he turned to look at Josh giving a low yapping sound. “See you later.” Josh laughed and Tyler seemed pleased with that response, turning and jumping down from the window. He slunk off down the backyard and into the forest behind it. Josh watched on in shock, before remembering that that was not the weirdest thing to happen all week. 

He smiled to himself as he shut the window, running his fingers over his still swollen and raw lips with a giddy expression. He checked the time to see it was almost ten am, he only had six hours to wait to see Tyler again. He wanted to smack himself for being so clingy that he was actually horrified of the thought of going so long without Tyler but as he fished Tyler’s hoodie off the floor he realised it was bearable. 

“Pathetic.” He whispered to himself before putting the hoodie on anyway, smiling as he buried his nose in the earthy smell of his boyfriend. 

When Josh opened the door for Tyler at four pm on the dot, he looked sheepish. Josh was confused before Brendon was sticking his head out the back window of Tyler’s car and telling him to hurry up. Tyler shuffled his feet, still standing on his porch.

“My mom kept asking where I was going and Dallon put his foot in it saying he was going bowling with Brendon and it was a big mess and now we’re all going bowling if that’s okay?” Tyler asked and Josh tried to hide his disappointment, because bowling with his best friend and his boyfriend sounded pretty good on literally any other night. “But afterwards we’re gonna be alone, I have something special planned I promise, this won’t get in the way of the rest of the evening.” Tyler soothed and Josh immediately perked up. 

As if to show his happiness, he kissed Tyler softly. At the loud wolf-whistle Brendon gave them Josh raised his middle finger, only kissing Tyler harder as if to prove a point. Tyler laughed but kept trying to kiss Josh, who was laughing too. They broke apart

“Come on then, our chariot awaits or whatever that line is.” Tyler joked, pulling Josh by the hand off his front porch and towards his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be the date and also SMUT 
> 
> you're welcome :)


	18. Bowling Alley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's smut at the end of this enjoy!

“Was that a strike? Whatever.” Josh joked walking away. 

“No.” Brendon deadpanned as one pin remained upright. Josh’s head whipped around to see the pin wobble mockingly, he glared at it. 

“Traitor.” He whispered and the other three boys laughed easily hearing him with their enhanced senses. Josh blushed bright red ducking his head and pretending to mull over which ball he wanted to use on his second go. 

He quickly picked one and took his turn, fist bumping the air triumphantly when he managed to get a spare. 

Tyler kissed his cheek sloppily as he got up to take his go and Josh smiled and sat beside Brendon to watch. 

“So I heard you’re swiping your v card later.” Brendon said lowly, leaning right by Josh’s ear. Josh instantly smacked his arm. 

“Where did you even hear that?” His heart was beating way too fast as Brendon laughed. 

“Ty was talking to Dallon about it earlier, me and Dal have no secrets which is what I _thought_ I could say about us but I guess not.”

“Tyler doesn’t know I’m a-that I-” Josh blushed, looking up to where Tyler was already lining up his second throw. 

“He probably does, but I get you. No need to be nervous, just don’t get stuck overthinking and if you’re uncomfortable just tell Tyler dude.”

“Tell Tyler what?” Tyler said pulling Josh up off the seat so he could sit down and pull Josh into his lap. Josh blushed as Tyler wrapped his arms around his waist. 

“That you suck at Mario kart and Josh has just been letting you win.” Brendon sniffed, not a hint of humour in his voice, but his eyes gave it away. Tyler growled and Brendon couldn’t stop himself from apologising like a scared child. 

“Come on tough guy.” Dallon laughed diffusing the tension by thrusting a bowling ball into Brendon’s hands. 

“Now we know he’s lying what are you scared to tell me? I thought we got over you keeping things from me?” Tyler said, resting his chin on Josh’s shoulder. 

“I don’t want to have this conversation in public, can we save it for later?” Josh asked and Tyler nodded pressing a kiss into Josh’s shoulder. 

“Okay.”

The pair watched Dallon and Brendon flirt as they failed to get strikes, before it was back to being Josh’s turn. 

As he got up Josh turned to his boyfriend.

“If I get a strike you owe me the best kiss of my life, deal?” Josh said and Tyler raised an eyebrow. “If I asked for something dirty Brendon would hear.” He shrugged and Tyler smirked. 

“Up the stakes?” Tyler asked, ignoring Brendon’s whines for them to stare at one another some other time. Josh nodded. “No kissing at all until you get a strike.” 

“Deal.” Josh said. 

“You took that awfully well.” Dallon asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Because I might be clingy as anything, but Tyler actually will not last more than five minutes, he needs it way more than me and that’s saying something.” Josh said as he picked out a ball. 

Dallon seemed pretty satisfied with that answer, stepping back to sit beside Brendon. 

Josh took his time lining up the shot, before finally taking it. 

He held his breath as the ball headed towards the pins, letting out a massive cheer when he cleanly knocked down all the pins. 

Tyler instantly spun him around. 

“Knew you could do it.” He laughed. 

“Mhmm, now pay up.” Josh teased pulling Tyler’s hair just a little so their lips met. Tyler moved his lips slowly, dragging it out but then just when Josh thought he was going to deepen it, he pulled away. Josh frowned. 

“Later.” He winked before walking over to pick up a ball. Josh pouted. 

“Tease.” He scrunched up his face as Tyler stuck his tongue out. 

“You’ve hurt the child’s feelings now.” Brendon teased, pulling Josh into a hug. “Come to mama Brendon, that’s it.” He said with an exaggerated frown, stroking Josh’s hair. “Did the big mean Tyler hurt you?” He asked in a baby voice and Josh nodded pretending to be upset. 

Dallon watched in minor disbelief as Tyler rolled his eyes. 

When he’d finished his go, he sat beside Josh who wasn’t pretending to cry anymore. He kissed Josh’s forehead lovingly and Josh beamed at him, leaning his head on his shoulder. 

“I love you.” Tyler reminded Josh and smiled into the fabric of Tyler’s shirt. 

“That’s good.” He joked. Tyler scoffed but let Josh link their fingers together. “Love you too.” Josh added and Tyler seemed to perk up. 

They were interrupted from their moment as Brendon attempted to bowl while on Dallon’s back. This lead Josh to crouch down and make a seat for Tyler to bowl from, both couples trying more ridiculous ways to bowl from with the few goes they had left. 

Tyler –as with most games it seemed- still won and that entitled him to arcade tickets. Which weren’t enough for the dog plushie they offered which according to Brendon looked like Tyler (which got him a growl but also got Josh’s eyes to light up like a little kid which was adorable). So, they ended up wasting about two hours playing arcade games, Josh and Brendon destroying Dallon and Tyler at air hockey and foosball. They played until they’d earned enough tickets for the dog and Tyler proudly put all the tickets onto the counter and demanded it. The girl behind the counter seemed less than impressed, but handed it over. 

It was worth it just for the look on Josh’s face as Tyler handed over the stuffie. He hugged it close blushing, realising that he shouldn’t get so mushy inside because his boyfriend just gave him a dog stuffie but it really did look like Tyler and it made Josh think about how cute Tyler was. 

Brendon pretended to gag when Josh kissed Tyler in thanks. But then Dallon was threatening to take away all affection and Brendon was practically jumping on top of him begging for a kiss. 

“Where should we eat?” Tyler asked when everyone piled into his car. 

“Can’t go to iHop, In’N’Out or Taco Bell.” Josh said immediately and Tyler looked at him dumbfounded. 

“Brendon’s banned from the first two and we had taco bell yesterday.” Josh shrugged. 

“Why are you like this?” Dallon asked his boyfriend who gave a sheepish grin and shrugged. 

“So… Pizza Hut?” Tyler offered and everyone agreed. 

When they’d finished their meal they all drove to a spot that overlooked downtown Columbus. Josh and Tyler sat on the hood of the car for a few minutes until they heard whining from inside the car. At that Tyler opened the door and Brendon and Dallon hopped out in wolf form. Josh stared still adjusting to this development. 

They gave a nod to Tyler before running off into the forest beside the spot. Tyler shut the car door and went to sit beside Josh once again. 

“Okay, we’re alone.” Tyler said slipping an arm around Josh’s shoulders. 

They sat in silence, just enjoying being living and breathing in the same moment. 

“Why do you love me?” Josh finally broke the silence. 

Tyler looked at him, confused. 

“Is it just because you can’t stop it?” Josh asked shyly fiddling with his sleeve. 

“Of course not, there’s a reason you’re my mate Josh, my body just understood sooner than my heart. I love everything about you. Like how stubborn you are when it comes to admitting you need help, or how grouchy you get when you don’t sleep.” Tyler nudged him playfully but Josh was already hanging on to every word he was saying. “I love that you put other first, and you never complain even though no one would blame you. You’re the most kind-hearted and pure person I know. I love when you scrunch your nose up to try and be intimidating but just look cute instead, and I love that you bite your tongue when you’re trying not to laugh and how you drum on your legs when you’re anxious. I don’t know it’s like everything you do just makes me love you more even the stuff that probably should irritate me.” 

Josh didn’t give Tyler time to say anything else because he was kissing him desperately, trying to convey as much emotion as possible. 

“I feel similar about you. You’re sassy and stubborn too and you growl at everything that breathes wrong but you’re also a giant softie and you always know what to do and to say and how other people are feeling and you’re so patient with me and passionate about the things you love.” Josh gushed and Tyler blushed. “I trust you whole heartedly, so can we go back to my house now?” Josh asked biting his lip and looking at Tyler expectantly. 

Tyler nodded before letting go of Josh with a quick peck to the lips. The two boys climbed into Tyler’s car so he could drive them back to Josh’s house. 

When they got into the house they found that Abigail had gone to a sleepover and Jordan was playing video games in his room, leaving Ashley to make out with her boyfriend on the living room couch. Josh rolled his eyes before asking where their mom was, Ashley stopped kissing her boyfriend long enough to reply that she was working. 

Josh dragged Tyler up the stairs and into his room, not giving him much chance to get his bearings before he was kicking the door shut and kissing him fiercely. Tyler responded instantly, pushing Josh back until he hit the door with a thump. He tangled his fingers into Josh’s curls, tugging to expose more of his neck so he could begin marking it with bruises. 

“Mine.” Tyler growled his hands gripping Josh’s hips and Josh moaned and bared his neck. 

Tyler almost ripped Josh’s shirt off, their lips meeting again as soon as it was off. Tyler moved his hands to cup Josh’s ass, before hoisting up his legs, getting Josh to wrap them around his waist. He squeezed Josh’s ass again and the action forced their hardening crotches to brush causing Josh to moan again. Josh kicked his shoes off. 

“Fuck, I love you Tyler.” Josh panted out, his hands grabbing Tyler’s face and forcing him to kiss him properly, with teeth and tongue and dizzying passion until all the wind was knocked out of them and Josh felt like he was floating. He came back to reality as he was thrown onto the bed. Tyler standing over him pulling his own shirt off. 

Josh grabbed for his belt, tugging it undone while simultaneously pulling Tyler back on top of himself. Their lips were swollen but they still found each other. Tyler trailing kisses lower and lower on Josh’s torso until he was practically gasping for air. 

“Tyler- Tyler wait.” Josh said pulling Tyler up by his hair loosely and Tyler’s face was full of concern. “I’m a virgin.” Josh blurted, deciding to just rip it off like a bandaid. 

“That’s okay.” Tyler promised, kissing much more delicately all over Josh’s face. “Do you want to stop?” 

Josh instantly shook his head. “Just… just go slow okay?” He asked and Tyler nodded. 

As if to show it was okay to continue Josh undid his pants and kicked them off. Tyler laughed and went back to leave pretty purple bruises all over Josh’s chest. 

Tyler was slower now letting his fingers drag down Josh’s side, causing his skin to raise in goose bumps as he shuddered. He dipped his fingers under the waistband of Josh’s boxers and Josh automatically arched his back pressing further into his touch. Tyler smiled, placing slow pecks to his lips. 

“Relax.” He soothed his thumbs rubbing circles onto Josh’s hips. Josh tried to nod but he was a little overwhelmed by how Tyler was taking up all of his senses. “Can I take my pants off?” Tyler asked and Josh nodded, whimpering a little when Tyler moved away to remove his pants, he looked at Josh gesturing to his boxers and Josh nodded. He bit his lip and propped himself up on his elbows to better watch as Tyler removed his final items of clothing, toeing off his shoes and socks until he was completely exposed. 

Josh gaped but Tyler simply smirked and went back to kissing him. The kiss was instantly heated, Josh’s whole body tingling with anticipation as Tyler slipped Josh’s boxers off. 

When their members brushed for the first time Josh gasped, the sensation was unlike anything he’d experienced before. He clung to Tyler’s shoulders, scratching his back as he repeated the motion a few more times. Josh moaned and threw his head back. 

“Good?” Tyler hummed and Josh nodded. “Wait.” Tyler said before getting up to grab his jeans, he reached into his pockets pulling out a condom and some packets of lube. 

Josh looked at him incredulously but Tyler shrugged it off, biting his lip and letting his gaze run over Josh. He snapped out of it when Josh blushed and whined. 

“Love you so much. Gonna make you feel good I promise.” Tyler said kissing Josh again. He pushed Josh’s thighs apart before opening a packet of lube and drizzling his fingers in it. 

Tyler kissed Josh slowly, reminding him to relax as he slowly put a finger to his hole. Josh jolted and Tyler was quick to sooth him, taking his time to push his finger inside. 

When Josh was comfortable he cautiously worked it in and out, only adding more fingers when Josh started to feel more pleasure than pain. Tyler continued to praise him, kissing all over his face and Josh only moaned and grunted. He almost screamed when Tyler hit something inside him that had him seeing stars, Tyler smirked and began massaging circles over it until Josh felt sure he was about to cum. 

When he admitted this to Tyler he removed his fingers and rolled on a condom, opening another packet of lube with his teeth and drizzling it over his rock hard length. 

There was much less resistance this time as Tyler pushed himself into Josh. The sensation causing Josh to feel overwhelmed at the fullness. 

“Stop tensing you’re so tight.” Tyler said through gritted teeth, his eyes squeezed shut. Josh forced himself to relax but then he realised Tyler still hadn’t opened his eyes. 

“Ty? Ty look at me.” Josh stroked some hair from Tyler’s face as he slowly opened his eyes to reveal they were bright red. It was then that Josh realised how tightly Tyler was clinging to the bedsheets beside him, his knuckles white. 

“It’s so much.” Tyler said closing his eyes again. Josh kissed his eyelids. 

“Just breathe for a second, it’s okay we’re okay.” Josh tried to sooth but he was definitely freaking out at the fact that his boyfriend seemed to be on the brink of wolfing out while he was balls deep _inside_ him. 

Tyler opened his eyes and they were brown and Josh had never felt more relieved in his life. 

“Can you fuck me now?” He asked and Tyler nodded, pulling out before slamming back in. 

They picked up a steady rhythm as Josh pulled Tyler’s lips down to meet his own. As they both drew closer Tyler picked up the pace, his thrusts became deeper and faster subconsciously and he wiped a few sweaty curls off Josh’s forehead. He wrapped his arms under the small of Josh’s back, making his body arch allowing Tyler to push deeper inside him, hitting his prostate unforgivingly. Josh bit down on his lip hard to stop himself crying out. 

“Beautiful.” Tyler said between grunts and thrusts, “God, you’re everything.” 

Josh only moaned, so completely in love Tyler combined with the sensations he was feeling made him want to cry. Their bodies rocked together unforgivingly, Josh’s leaking erection trapped between scorching skin only added another intense experience, causing everything to reach its climax, he curled his toes and bit down into Tyler’s shoulder as he came hard. 

Tyler cried out at the feeling of Josh’s teeth threatening to break his skin and he worked Josh through his pleasure, hips snapping hard enough to bruise as he fell over the edge on a minute later. 

Tyler pulled out and flopped down beside Josh both boys covered in sweat and panting hard but blissed out, so completely in love with one another that they couldn’t help but laugh giddily. 

After a minute or two, Tyler got up to get a cloth, tossing the condom on the way before coming back and cleaning Josh up. He tossed it on the washing pile before climbing into bed beside his boyfriend. 

“That was amazing.” Josh said kissing Tyler lazily. 

“I can’t explain it to you but the way that felt was _intense_.” Tyler said in awe and Josh blushed. 

“Thank you for loving me and being my first.” Josh said as he snuggled into Tyler’s chest. 

“Just promise I can be your last too?” Tyler side into Josh’s hair. 

“If you don’t get sick of me.” Josh mumbled with a yawn. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Tyler promised pressing his lips to Josh’s forehead. “Time to sleep I think. I love you.”


	19. Doorstep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS SO DUMB IM SORRY DSJFHDJF

Josh was woken the next morning by Abigail bouncing on his bed and the doorbell ringing in the background.

“Joshie you have to answer the door.” She whined.

“Get Ashley to.” He yawned rubbing his eyes, still half asleep.

“Mommy is sleeping and Ashley went out she said you’re in charge.” Abigail said matter-of-factly and Josh groaned. The doorbell rang more persistently.

“Alright get out then I need to get changed.” Josh said and Abigail happily ran out of the room.

It was then that Josh remembered what had happened the night before, he sat up too fast and had to cover his mouth before he cried out at the discomfort that shot up his spine. He looked at the empty spot in his bed, his brain too sluggish to freak out right this second. The doorbell rang again, for a long time and Josh groaned. Cautiously he got out of bed, shoving on a pair of boxers and basketball shorts. He grabbed a tank top and threw it on as he plodded down the stairs.

Someone was knocking aggressively and Josh couldn’t help but be irritated. He threw the door open about to bite the head off whoever was bugging him on a Sunday morning but he froze when Brendon’s panicked face looking down to where Tyler in wolf form was sat, eyes also full of panic.

There was an awkward dog collar wrapped around Tyler’s neck, the plastic tag still on it and Brendon was holding a lead. Josh actually had to turn around for a second, unable to look at the pair.

“Josh-” Brendon started but he was cut off by Josh holding up a hand to silence him. Josh rubbed his eyes with his fingers and took a deep breath, trying to remain sane and awake. Slowly he turned around.

“Something happened to Tyler, he started to turn so he ran out your window but now he can’t turn back. He’s literally stuck like this, Dallon’s trying to figure it out but if his mom realises he’s stuck like this she’ll actually kill him so I need you to keep him here.” Brendon begged and Josh just blinked at him.

“Wait so Tyler is stuck like that for the foreseeable future, and you want me to tell my mom I’m dog-sitting I assume?” Josh snorted as he pointed to Tyler who wagged his tail.

Brendon nodded sheepishly. “Dallon thinks he can figure it out by the end of today.” He gripped the lead tightly, clearly unnerved by the fact that Tyler was stuck being a wolf.

“Oh my god you’re serious.” Josh’s eyes went wide as Brendon nodded. Tyler yipped at him and Josh finally looked at him. “His eyes...”

“Oh yeah, he can change his eyes back and forth but that’s it. Brown’s much less conspicuous.” Brendon stated.

“That’s a big word for you.” Josh said and Brendon growled at him.

“Josh this is serious, please just watch after him?” Brendon practically thrust the lead into Josh’s hands and Tyler immediately sauntered into the house, effectively dragging Josh away from Brendon. “Also congrats on the wild night.” Brendon wiggled his eyebrows gesturing to Josh’s bruised and quite frankly ruined neck.

Josh tried to shout and protest but Brendon was sprinting away. He shut the door with an angry huff.

“Stay here. Sit.” Josh huffed and Tyler growled at him as if to prove the point that he wasn’t actually, a dog. But Tyler still proceeded to sit, watching Josh as he unclipped the lead and tossed it onto the couch.

He went into the kitchen to make himself a coffee, knowing it was going to be a long day. He considered seeing if he could find Tiddles’ old bowl for Tyler to drink from but it was probably thrown out a long time ago.

Josh panicked when he heard Abigail squeal followed by an odd bark. He almost had a heart attack when he ran into the room to see Tyler still in full wolf form trying to play tug'o'war with Abigail's teddy bear as she giggled loudly.

"Josh!" She squealed playfully, before Tyler let the teddy go and sat back. Slowly he turned his head to reveal his eyes were thankfully still Tyler's warm brown instead of their usual intense red. "Why didn't mommy say we're getting a dog?" She asked as she hugged Tyler who nuzzled into her shoulder.

"B-because we aren't, he's uh-he's Bren's, I'm just watching him this evening." Josh said giving Tyler a smirk when he saw him huff a little.

"That's so cool!" Abigail said letting go of the wolf to scratch behind his ears. Tyler couldn't stop his back leg from twitching which made Josh stare dumbfounded for a second. "What's he called?" Abigail asked moving away as Tyler scratched at his own ear with his hind leg.

"Fluffles." Josh deadpanned causing Tyler to stop mid scratch and glare at him. There was a forced barking sound that was obviously Tyler doing an impression of a dog instead of his usual wolf-y growls. Josh burst out laughing but Abigail didn't seem to notice going back to hugging Tyler.

"He's cute, can I play with him?" She pleaded and Tyler looked at Josh with panic in his eyes, she was squeezing him a little too tight.

"Maybe later, for now Fluffles has a date with me upstairs." He joked, although he realised in a way, Josh actually was dating the wolf currently malting its fur all over his mom's carpet. Why was his life an actual joke?

"Come on Fluffles, this way!" Josh said mockingly, patting his thighs. Tyler huffed and turned his nose up at Josh before trotting up the stairs.

"Tyler, I love you but this is too fucking weird even for my life. I can't keep pretending you're Brendon's pet dog. I want my boyfriend back." Josh groaned and sighed flopping back onto his bed.

He couldn't help but laugh when he felt Tyler sniffing up his side before nuzzling under his arm until Josh was cuddling him close. He licked Josh's chin as he settled on his chest.

Josh woke up an hour later to find Tyler playing with Abigail on his bed, which woke him up. She was squealing and laughing as Tyler tried to bark and play along.

“Abigail what are you doing in my room?”

“I wanted to play with Mr. Fluffles and he was just watching you sleep he looked bored.” Abigail giggled and Josh looked at Tyler who seemed sheepish. Tyler ran over to rub his head on Josh’s arm as a sign of affection and Josh sighed before stroking him almost forgetting Tyler wasn’t actually a wolf/dog.

“Fluffles can play in your room while I shower.” Josh said with a cheeky grin as Tyler whined and bit at the air in front of his face. Abigail jumped up and down clapping, she called out for “fluffles” to follow her into her room and Josh laughed.

After Josh got out of the shower he saw that Brendon was knocking at his window. He opened it and Brendon practically fell into his room.

“Gimme a sec to get dressed.” Josh said dashing into the bathroom to throw on some clothes.

“Where’s Tyler?” Brendon asked when he emerged and Josh slapped a hand over his mouth, running across the corridor to Abigail’s bedroom. Josh and Brendon covered their mouths as they tried to stop laughing. Tyler looked up at them, eyes traumatised as Abigail was draping him in pink bows and beads. She had even put little butterfly hairclips into the long parts of his fur.

Tyler immediately struggled out of Abigail’s grip, trying to shake off the accessories but failing.

“Abby, you can’t put this stuff on him.” Josh said between scoffs of laughter. “Brendon wants him back now anyway.” Josh said and Tyler ran past both boys into Josh’s room.

Abigail looked upset but just nodded. Josh dealt with her sadness while Brendon followed Tyler.

When Josh walked into his room he found Tyler making no distinct wolf noises but Brendon was replying like it was a conversation. Josh shook his head and helped Brendon remove the hair clips and beads.

“Basically, you mated last night and this is just a wolf-y reaction thing and he will change back soon, it lasts around 24 hours.” Brendon explained and Tyler lay down resting his head on his paws.

“So he could just change back at random?” Josh clarified and Brendon shrugged.

“Essentially.”

Josh sighed with relief but Tyler whined and sat up, pawing at the collar on his neck.

“Aw, I don’t think he likes the collar.” Brendon laughed and Josh tried not to copy.

“Maybe he’d prefer a bow instead.” Josh offered. Tyler growled and backed up as Brendon and Josh cornered him, unclipping the cheap collar and tying one of Abigail’s ribbons around his neck in a bow. Tyler tried to nip Josh’s hands but it didn’t work, he thrashed around as the two boys laughed hysterically.

Brendon was about to take a picture as Tyler tried to rib the bow off with his paws but it wasn’t working. Josh let out loud yips and Josh had to shush him, reminding his mom would wake up.

Both boys laughed as Tyler whimpered his ears getting stuck as he tried to push the ribbon off.

Suddenly Tyler was standing up in full human form, instantly ripping off the bow his eyes glowing red for a second. Josh gasped and immediately backed up. Tyler immediately threw Josh over his shoulder.

“You’re so in trouble.” Tyler warned, throwing Josh onto the bed and tickling him mercilessly. When Josh was begging for mercy Tyler let up, turning to grab some clothes from Josh’s drawers.

“Ya know if you keep stealing my boxers I’m gonna have no underwear left?” Josh said breathlessly.

“Maybe that’s my plan.” Tyler replied causing Josh to blush.

“You guys are so gross. But congrats on returning to humanity.” Brendon cut in, having awkwardly witnessed the whole interaction.

Tyler rolled his eyes and Josh coughed awkwardly. Before getting up to hug his now human and clothed boyfriend in relief.

Tyler hugged back softly, enjoying the way Josh snuggled into his neck.

“Don’t make me command you to wash Michael’s gym clothes.” Tyler threatened playfully and Brendon snarled.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.” Tyler teased.

Before the two could get into a growling match Josh spoke up.

“I’m really glad you’re back.” He said softly and Tyler kissed his forehead.

“I promised I wouldn’t leave you.” Tyler whispered and Josh’s whole body tingled.

“Gonna hold you to that.” Josh hummed.

“For the next hundred years I hope.” Tyler said and Josh smiled, looking up to kiss him properly.

“I’m still here.” Brendon deadpanned but Josh just flipped him off and kept kissing Tyler. Laughing and breaking apart only when Tyler’s reflexes got him to catch the pillow Brendon attempted to throw at their heads.


	20. Shower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry i took so long to update this fic this also was not the angle i was even gonna go with but then life happened and i remembered im single af and gonna die forever alone :')
> 
> **ALSO A SMALL SMUT WARNING**
> 
> (it's just a handjob and it's not descript but it is towards the end just to warn you)
> 
> oops

Josh was having a bad day, nothing particularly eventful had happened to cause it, it was simply one of those days where you could tell from waking up that nothing was worth it. He lay in bed half asleep and just feeling _off_. 

Every time he closed his eyes something bad played behind his eyelids like some kind of fucked up cinema. If he wasn’t freaking out that he might be imagining Tyler as a wolf- _because that just didn’t happen, right? That couldn’t possibly be real_ -then he was hit with the overwhelming memory that his dad was gone. He was too tired and panicked to be able to do anything other than cry frustratedly and try to hide in his sheets. 

He heard scratching at his window but he ignored it, refusing to open his eyes as he rolled away from it. If it was just in his head it would go away eventually and if it _was_ real, then eventually whoever it was would get bored and leave. 

He wanted to groan when he heard his window sliding open, creaking heavily with effort. His heart hammered in his chest with anxiety because for a second he realised that he didn’t actually know who had just let themselves in and he’d only just healed his scars from the last incident. 

He gasped a little when he felt something lie down against his back, plopping it’s head down on his arm and whimpering a little in concern. 

For a second he turned to see Tyler’s red wolf eyes staring up at him worriedly and he simply turned back, shutting his eyes again, a detached numbness had set in an hour ago and he was grateful for it. 

Tyler huffed and burrowed his nose under Josh’s arm, nudging until Josh was lay on his back and Tyler dropped down on top of him causing Josh to let out a grunt, _was he always this heavy?_. But he still instinctively cuddled the wolf close. 

Tyler sniffed at his neck, the short breathes made Josh shiver and scrunch up so his chin tucked into his chest because it tickled and the cute gestured only spurred Tyler on. He lifted himself up a little and licked Josh’s face playfully. Josh instantly pushed him off. 

“Gross dude stop.” Josh complained and Tyler yiffed at him as if to say _‘stop being a grumpy asshole’_. 

Josh just sighed and curled around him, trying to go back to sleep even though he knew he couldn’t. Now spooning the wolf.

After a while of staring at Josh’s face, Tyler realised there was only so much he could do as a giant dog and he made a soft noise before backing out of Josh’s hold. Josh quirked an eyebrow opening his eyes a little out of curiosity but nothing more.

Tyler found the wolf stuffie from their date a few months back and picked it up, placing his front paws on the bed so he could give the stuffed dog to Josh, who took it from his mouth and wiped it on the bed to remove any slobber before cuddling it. Too stubborn to admit how much it soothed him. 

Tyler then returned to his human form, naked and quickly rummaging through Josh’s drawers to find clothes that were actually his that he’d left before and shoving them on. He pulled on a hoodie and socks to make sure he was cosy, for Josh’s sake not his own, given he was always warm to the touch. 

He climbed onto the bed and under the sheets instantly pulling Josh into his chest and kissing all over his neck and shoulder. 

The two were silent for a while before Josh’s sniffles made Tyler flinch and hug him tighter. 

“Talk to me baby boy.” Tyler said softly into Josh’s shoulder, placing a gentle kiss there. 

Josh buried his nose into the wolf plushie, shaking his head. 

“I knew something was wrong the moment I woke up, please talk to me Josh.” Tyler said again and Josh took a deep breath.

“It’s all just t-too much right now.” He replied shakily, his voice barely a whisper and Tyler kissed his temple and wrapped their legs together in a desperate attempt to get as close of physically possible. 

Tyler proceeded to talk Josh down for a while, his usual trick of pulling Josh so he was resting on top of him, head buried in his shoulder while Tyler rubbed soothing hands up and down his back helped to lull Josh to sleep. The stuffie trapped between their bodies as Josh refused to let it go. 

Tyler stared down at his boyfriend, stroking careful circles in the baby curls at the nape of Josh’s neck. Pressing feather light kisses over his face whenever he seemed to tense up in his sleep. 

After an hour or so Tyler couldn’t stop himself from drifting off too. His dream was weird; it didn’t feel right. It was off, like it wasn’t his dream at all, he was simply watching someone else’s. He watched on confused as Josh appeared, running past him through the dark forest, begging for help. Tyler felt himself pulled behind him, running just out of reach behind him like a magnet. 

Josh screamed as he looked over his shoulder but he didn’t seem to notice Tyler instead looking above him. Tyler turned to see a giant wolf that looked a lot like Spencer but about twenty times the size, easily towering over them both. 

Josh tripped and suddenly Tyler was jumping awake. Eyes blinking open as Josh gasped awake at the same time, panting hard. 

Although completely disorientated Tyler was instantly in alpha mode, soothing Josh and making sure he knew it wasn’t real, just a bad dream. 

“Josh, d-did you dream about Spencer trying to kill you?” Tyler asked cautiously as Josh buried his face in his chest and tried to gather himself. Slowly Josh looked up confused before nodding. 

“I’ve heard about this, sometimes mates can share dreams but I think I can only watch yours, I couldn’t do anything to help you and I think it might have something to do with me being a wolf and you not, like the connection only works one way?” Tyler tried to explain, only really fitting the pieces together for himself as he spoke. 

“You can- you can see what I’m dreaming?” Josh asked, shifting a bit closer to Tyler’s face. Tyler shrugged. 

“I’ve never done it before, I had no control over it, like it just sort of happened? One minute I was watching you sleep, t-to make sure you were safe” Tyler blushed and averted his gaze and Josh’s chest felt fuzzy. “and then next I was being pulled along with you in that forest.”

Josh pressed his face into Tyler’s neck and groaned. 

“My head hurts I just want to stop all this crap that’s always happening to me, I want a goddamn break.” He huffed and Tyler frowned. 

“D-Do you not want to be with me anymore? Because, I respect your decision to walk away this isn’t exactly the most normal circumstances in the world.” Tyler was hesitant, scared even and Josh whipped his head up to look at him. 

“What? Of course not, Ty. I love being with you,” Josh said twirling one of Tyler’s hoodie strings around his finger bashfully. “Besides won’t you like die without me?” Josh tried to sound playful but he was too anxious. 

Tyler frowned again. “Josh I don’t want you to be with me just because you feel morally obliged to, that’s not cool. Don’t worry about what happens to me, I can look after myself, do what’s best for you.”

Josh shook his head; _this was all wrong_. “Ty, I love you, like so much it’s baffling because I didn’t realise it was possible to feel so much for someone. An-and maybe you’ll be fine without me, b-but I don’t think _I’d_ be okay without you.” 

Josh’s eyes were wet as he shifted his position to straddle Tyler’s waist and sit up enough so his lips hovered over Tyler’s. 

Tyler grabbed the plushie and pulled it from between them letting it roll onto the other side of the bed and fall to the floor, before he was pulling Josh down by the back of his neck to kiss him. 

“I love you.” Tyler panted between intense kisses, their lips working together desperately. Josh couldn’t help the chuckles that slipped out as Tyler rolled them over so he was on top, kissing him with such a force that his head got buried between the pillows. 

“I love you too.” Josh promised as his fingers brushed over the nape of Tyler’s neck. Tyler shuddered when Josh lifted his head and nipped at the skin behind his ear, having learnt a few weeks back that he was very sensitive there. Josh bit his tongue and squinted his eyes as Tyler growled and nipped at his nose. 

“You can’t pull that face and not expect me to keep you forever.” Tyler said fondly and Josh thought his heart would explode as he looked into his soft eyes. 

“You can’t just say that and not expect me to let you.” Josh whined back unable to stop his face scrunching up again as he blushed. 

Tyler kissed him again, slower this time, desperate to be as close as possible. The kiss was only interrupted when Josh gasped, Tyler’s hand slipping down past the waistband of his pyjama pants. 

“Is this okay?” Tyler asked and Josh nodded frantically, his eyes fluttering shut as Tyler worked his hand over him. 

Josh fell apart, panting quiet whimpers against Tyler’s mouth. He shuddered as Tyler worked him a little faster, burying his face into Tyler’s neck as he gripped his shoulders tightly. 

“Relax, I’ve got you.” Tyler said as he sucked a hickey into Josh’s neck, flicking his wrist just a bit in such a way that caused Josh to cry out. 

Josh writhed underneath his boyfriend. Moaning his name as he climaxed a few moments later. Tyler kissed all over his face as Josh sunk back into the bed, whimpering a little with oversensitivity as Tyler worked him through it. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Tyler confessed, kissing Josh’s eyelids as he dropped his head back on the pillow, gasping for breath. 

Tyler carefully retracted his hand from Josh’s pyjama pants, smiling as Josh let out a chuckle, resting their foreheads together. 

“Feel better?” Tyler asked softly and Josh nodded and bit his lip before kissing him again. 

“I’d feel better if we took a shower.” He blinked innocently up at Tyler, his fingers playing with Tyler’s soft hair. But Tyler knew he was being far from innocent and he struggled to breathe. 

Tyler moaned, resting his head on Josh’s shoulder. “I think I can work with that.” He said kissing Josh again before getting up. 

“My legs are kinda tired.” Josh huffed at the expectant look Tyler gave him. Before Josh could even finish the sentence he was being scooped up into Tyler’s arms, he laughed. 

Tyler hummed as he began walking towards the bathroom with Josh still firmly in his grip. 

“You’re getting easier to carry.” He said and Josh rolled his eyes, kissing him as he was placed on the closed toilet seat. 

“Perks of being a big strong alpha?” Josh suggested and Tyler smiled proudly. 

“Probably, or perks of having the world’s cutest boyfriend.” He shrugged causing Josh to cover his face with his hands and demand he put the shower on already. 

Tyler laughed, doing as instructed before prying Josh’s hands from his face so he could kiss him. 

They kissed through their laughter, Tyler distracting Josh with the passionate lip lock so he could pick him up, Josh’s legs wrapping around his waist. 

Josh gasped and pulled away when he suddenly felt water pouring onto his head. He smacked Tyler on the chest as he adjusted to the (still heating up) water that was currently running down the back of his shirt. 

“I hate you.” Josh huffed but he couldn’t stop himself laughing as Tyler did. 

“No you don’t.” Tyler smirked knowingly before pressing Josh’s back against the shower wall, letting Josh slip his tongue into his mouth as he continued kissing him. Both boys got lost in the kiss, water running off their noses, still fully clothed under Josh’s shower, laughing whenever they broke apart for air.


	21. Kitchen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// massive panic attack

Josh sighed contently as Tyler pressed soft kisses to his lips easing him down to lie on his back, the soft pressure of Tyler on top of him the smell of flowers and the warm sun and buzz of bugs filled his senses. The grass he lay on in his backyard was softer than he remembered but he didn't seem bothered. He smiled as Tyler's fingertips brushed over his hips as his lips worked their way down his neck.

"I love you." Tyler smiled and Josh's heart fluttered as he looked up into warm brown eyes. Tyler brushed a stray brown curl off Josh's forehead before kissing his nose sweetly. He picked a pink flower from near by and placed it behind Josh's ear.

Tyler kissed him again, hard and Josh responded eagerly, happiness radiating through his whole body.

But then Tyler's body wasn't on his anymore and Josh opened his eyes to see Tyler looking over him at something. When Josh sat up he turned to see a huge black wolf, it looked just like Tyler and Josh was confused, he turned to see Tyler was gone.

Dread shot up his spine as he turned to see bright red eyes. The wolf was twice the size of before, snarling and growling, drooling as it squared up and charged at him.  
As it jumped towards him claws swiping Josh felt his whole-body jolt.

He gasped awake, covered in sweat and already fending off a panic attack. He managed to eventually get himself out of it but promptly burst into tears, that was the fourth time this week that hed had a nightmare, usually they all centred around the same thing - a wolf attacking him, usually spencer. But this was different, this one had been Tyler, the one person who he never thought would hurt him, it shook Josh to his core. 

He was shaky and anxious for the whole day, he flinched as Brendon dropped his lunch tray down on the table. 

“Baby you okay?” Tyler asked putting his arm around Josh’s shoulder. Josh melted into his touch, the fuzziness in his chest growing as Tyler pressed a lingering kiss to his cheek and held him close. But then he was remembering how Tyler had laid him down in the grass and made his whole body tingle and he blushed. He nodded, taking a sharp breath through his nose and letting Tyler kiss his lips softly. 

It was a mistake because as his eyes closed and reopened for a second all he could see was his nightmare, Tyler and then no Tyler and then a wolf that was ready to kill him. 

Josh visibly paled and shrugged Tyler’s arm off himself. 

“I-I forgot I didn’t print my history essay so I need to go do that.” He excused himself and Tyler tried to follow but Josh assured him it wasn’t necessary. 

The following Saturday Josh hadn’t even thought about his nightmares thankfully not having one since, until he woke sweating and panting and feeling like he’d been running for his life even though physically he hadn’t moved from his bed. 

He fixed himself a coffee with shaky hands and stared out the kitchen window at the backyard, a sense of uneasiness rising up his spine as he stared out at the yard and tried to separate reality from his mind running wild. 

“I’m going on a date, Mom’s gone to work, Jordan went to baseball practice and Abigail’s still at her friend’s house.” Ashley said in passing, stealing the coffee cup from Josh’s hands and gulping some of it down. Josh glared at her but she just smiled and handed back the now almost empty cup, patting him on the shoulder before heading out the front door. 

Josh shook his head and looked down at his coffee cup, his thoughts immediately consuming his mind once again. 

When Josh looked up he almost screamed, seeing a large black wolf walking down his yard just like in his nightmares. His heart began pounding loudly and he dropped the cup he was holding and it shattered at his feet. 

Josh stared as Tyler’s wolf form grew closer and bigger still, he was definitely bigger than Josh ever remembered and this only made him question if he was imagining him.   
But the shape got closer and Josh felt bile rise in his throat, he couldn’t do anything but gasp for air and feel tears brim in his eyes and he struggled to move away from the window. 

Tyler had failed to spot him and went about jumping up to Josh’s bedroom window. Josh fell backwards, falling hard onto his butt as he gasped, thinking the wolf was about to jump at him and kill him like his dream. The fall caused Josh to cut his hand on a piece of broken mug and he stared at his violently shaking hand watch blood begin to pool a little in his palm. His vision blurred with even more tears as he lost any control he’d still been clinging to. 

The first thing Tyler noticed as he snuck in through the open window was that Josh wasn’t in his room, the next was the feeling of distress that gathered in his gut, something in his telling him that it wasn’t his emotions. The last thing as he quickly rifled through drawers and shoved on clothes was that he could ever so faintly smell blood. 

He ran full speed through the house to the kitchen where he found Josh mid-panic attack and crying, trying to collect up pieces of china that were smeared with some blood. 

“Josh?” Tyler asked worried. 

Josh flinched and dropped the things in his hands, shuffling back into the kitchen cabinets and curling in on himself. 

“Josh, it’s okay. Hey, look I can clean it up okay it was an accident.” Tyler soothed quickly picking up the pieces of china and throwing them into the bin. “Josh I need you to try counting your breathing, can you do that for me baby?” Tyler said as he quickly mopped up the blood and coffee on the floor. 

When he was done he moved closer to Josh, reaching out to inspect his hand but he was startled when Josh flinched away from him, pushing himself further into the corner of the room, tears streaming from his cheeks.

"D-don't touch me." He sobbed out, whole body shaking.

Josh scrambled to his feet desperately trying to figure out how stop the room from shrinking around himself.

"Josh please let me help." Tyler pleaded his own eyes teary standing up in front of him, it was killing him to see Josh like this, he could feel how afraid he was and it hurt.

“You c-can’t.” Josh replied, voice strangled by sobs. 

“Josh I saw your nightmare last night.” Tyler stated calmly, desperate to hold his love in his arms. “Why didn’t you tell me you were still having them?”

When Josh continued taking panicked raspy breaths Tyler furrowed his brow. “That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”

"Y-you're s-sup- _hic_ -posed to p-protect-t m-me b-but I’m so-o sc-scared of y-you." Josh couldn’t stop sobbing, his head pounding because he wasn’t getting enough air into his lungs.

The words broke Tyler's heart.

"It’s okay, just breathe.” Tyler reminded him before continuing. “You're scared of me?"

"I'm s-scared of the w-wolves-s." Josh said quieter, sniffling and pulling his sleeves over his hands as he looked down and shrunk further into the corner.

Tyler frowned and wiped his eyes. "Josh I'm not a wolf right now, look at me, come on baby, look at me." Tyler coaxed.

Josh sobbed more and tried to look up through his tears. He broke down more when he saw the sad face on Tyler. He loved Tyler and he wanted to hold him and he hated himself for making him upset too but there was so much fear.

"I love you." Tyler promised, pushing as much sincerity into his voice as he could muster.

Josh sobbed until he collapsed to his knees but Tyler resisted his instinct to run to him because without Josh realising he'd commanded Tyler to stay put.

"Josh, what can I do to help you?" Tyler asked desperately but Josh just continued to sob into his knees which he'd pulled into his chest.

"Okay, I'm gonna call Brendon, okay? Brendon's coming." Tyler said shakily, trying to swallow the panic in his throat he left the kitchen to find the landline and call Brendon's number. He cursed when it went to voicemail before taking a deep breath and dialling Dallon.

"Whoever this is, he's busy." Brendon's gruff voice cut through the phone.

"Brendon give me the phone." Dallon said in the background and Tyler almost screamed.

"No! No! Bren I need you, Josh he- You have to help." Tyler said swallowing the thick lump in his throat. 

"Woah, Tyler calm down, talk slowly. What's wrong, where are you?" Brendon said suddenly much more serious.

"We're at Josh's house can you- Josh really needs your help right now." Tyler said desperately. 

"We're coming." The phone hung up and Tyler moved to sit with Josh again trying to talk him down with reassurance but it didn’t seem to be helping. He was relieved when he heard knocking at the door. 

Brendon was immediately rushing into the kitchen, leaving Dallon to try to get Tyler to stop being distressed. 

"Joshie?" Brendon asked cautiously. Josh looked up from where his head was in his hands, he looked awful and Brendon frowned a million memories of bad times flooding back to him. "Oh it's okay I'm here now."

Brendon sat beside him and spoke quietly, running a hand over Josh’s back when he finally gave permission to be touched. 

After what felt like a lifetime to Tyler, who was pacing in the other room, Brendon came back. 

“It’s like he got some kind of ptsd from the Spencer incident and it’s just hit breaking point today. He said he had a nightmare a few nights ago where you were in your wolf form and tried to kill him and seeing you this morning triggered a massive panic attack. I don’t think he took his meds this morning either so that won’t have helped.” Brendon explained cautiously. 

Tyler’s heart snapped. “Why wouldn’t he tell me about any of this?” 

“Josh is like that, he never puts anything on other people when it’s personal, you know this. Being mad he didn’t tell you is not gonna help this situation.” Brendon sniffed. 

“I’m not mad at him.” Tyler replied exasperated. “I’m upset because he’s so upset and I can’t do anything to help because I’m part of the problem.” Tyler kicked the couch in frustration and Dallon grabbed his shoulders. 

“Tyler, he’s your mate, he loves you, but he needs time to process things. It was never going to be easy for him to adjust to being a human in a wolf pack.” Dallon explained calmly. 

“When Josh is like this it’s a waiting game, as long as you keep reassuring him he will be okay.” Brendon placed a reassuring hand on Tyler’s shoulder. 

Tyler nodded, sighing and rubbing his face. “He commanded me not to touch him, he won’t even have realised he did it but yeah I can’t touch him.”

Dallon winced and Brendon frowned. “Well maybe it’s for the best, with Josh you sometimes have to just sit him there until he realises there’s nothing to fear. it’s kinda what happened with his dad." Brendon shrugged. 

Dallon seemed to mull this over for a second before speaking up. “Maybe... and this is a long shot but, maybe if you showed him your wolf form won’t hurt him that’s what he needs.”

The three boys looked to one another a plan immediately formulating. 

...

Josh was still huddled into the corner of the room still; his breathing was still ragged but he wasn’t having a panic attack anymore. He was exhausted and it showed on his tear soaked face. 

Brendon sat down beside Josh and turned to him. "So, you need to know that Tyler won't hurt you so he's gonna turn and I’m gonna be right here so you know you're safe and so I can tell you what he's saying."

Josh was too weak to do anything other than nod a little. But he only half registered what was being said to him. 

Josh tensed and tried to push himself back into the corner as Tyler slowly entered the room in wolf form and approached him. The alpha stopped short and lay down, resting his head on his paws and looking up at Josh worriedly.

"He says you commanded him not to touch you so he can't get closer even if he wanted to." Brendon reassured and Josh looked at him.

"I-I didn't mean to I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Josh broke down again and Tyler lifted his head yipping a little and looking to Brendon.

"Josh stop, it's okay you were upset and Tyler loves you so much that it just happened it's not a problem. You can un-command him any time you want, just tell him, it's okay. But do it when you're ready." Brendon soothed and Tyler scooted closer, lying down by Josh.

Brendon nodded as Tyler supposedly communicated with him before carefully reaching out and stroking the wolf. Josh focused on breathing as he watched Tyler roll over onto his side to show he trusted Brendon.

Josh’s head hurt but looking at the way Tyler was so calm and leaned subtly into Brendon's touch was helping him more than he realised. He remembered how silky his fur felt and how it tickled when he sniffed Josh and how Tyler often cuddled him when he was sad and Josh was finally able to establish the difference between his nightmares and the reality. His nightmares were a shadow, something evil and dark and _not Tyler_. Tyler was soft and cuddly and more like the stuffie Josh clung to every night than some demonic nightmare. 

Carefully he pushed off from the wall and shuffled closer to Tyler on his knees. Tyler opened his eyes and lifted his head. He sniffed at the hand Josh extended out to him.

"You have to tell him he can touch you if you want him to cuddle you." Brendon added with a knowing smirk and Josh sniffed hard wiping his face with his snotty sleeves.

"Please, um, Tyler, come here." Instantly Tyler was up, tail wagging and he moved over to Josh instantly burrowing his head into Josh shoulder in a hug that Josh returned.

The wolf licked Josh's face to show his affection before curling up in his lap. Josh hugged him close and buried his face in Tyler's fur, not even aware that Tyler had taken some of his pain away until the pressure in his head lightened and he felt himself get sleepy…

When Josh woke, he was in bed, Tyler's hand running through his curls softly. He pulled Tyler closer and clung on for dear life, nuzzling his face into the crook of Tyler’s neck before going back to sleep. 

Tyler kissed his temple and held him tightly. After they had moved him to his bed Brendon had explained that Josh usually went unresponsive after episodes like this.   
“It’s okay baby boy, just sleep okay. I love you so much and I’ll be here when you wake up.” Tyler assured pressing soft kisses to Josh’s shoulder. 

Josh managed to mumble out a timid “I love you” before falling asleep again.


	22. Hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the longest chapter i've ever written for anything it's nearly 4.3k words omg 
> 
> but also honestly i think is my favourite chapter that i've ever written so pls enjoy !!

"You're in charge of watching Bumble today Josh. I'll pick Jordan up from his friends later."

Josh nodded, holding Abigail in his arms as he followed his mom to the front door.

She seemed frazzled and running late but she still stopped her rambling of instructions to press kisses to both her children's cheeks before finally leaving.

"Joshie can we watch power rangers?" Abigail asked shyly knowing their mom never let them watch it on account of her saying it was too violent. Josh smiled knowingly.

"Sure bumblebee." He laughed before putting her down with a huff, she was small for her age but she was still getting too big for Josh to easily carry.

Josh was just cleaning up their plates from lunch when the doorbell rang, he was quick to answer it when he recognised Brendon’s usual pestering knock. 

When he opened the door, he was almost knocked over by Brendon and Dallon barging into the house. 

“Grab your stuff.” Dallon said, Brendon already heading into the living room to find Abigail.

“My stuff?” Josh asked confused, shutting the door and following them. He scrunched his brow as he took in the scratch on Dallon’s face. 

“Shoes, keys, phone anything essential, we have to go.” Brendon said, scooping Abigail up. 

He couldn’t hear any other heartbeats in the house so he knew that the little one would have to come with them. 

“What shoes do you want Bee?” Brendon asked her and the little one replied with her favourite pair. Brendon looked to Josh who shrugged. 

“The pink ones?” He asked and Abigail smiled and nodded, brushing a hair off her face. 

Brendon nodded and put her into Dallon’s arms before running up the stairs to get the shoes. Josh continued to watch in shock as Dallon went about picking out a coat for Abigail from the rack by the front door. 

Josh turned the TV off before following Dallon out to the front door. Brendon materialised behind him and began ushering him out the door.   
Josh dug his heels in and stopped them. 

“Someone tell me what the _hell_ is going on.” He demanded and Brendon looked at him sympathetically. 

“I’ll explain in the car but you need to come with us, Tyler’s hurt.” Brendon said and Josh’s heart stopped. 

“Why didn’t you say that first.” He shouted before fumbling for his house keys and some shoes. He practically ran past Brendon to get into the car. His breathing erratic but he tried to help Abigail strap herself in and put on her shoes. 

“I can do it myself. I’m eight now, I’m a lady.” Abigail scoffed and Josh held his hands up in surrender. Under other circumstances he’d probably have laughed at her statement but his mind was whirling with too many bad scenarios. 

“Start talking.” Josh said to Brendon while Dallon drove at the top end of the speed limit. 

“Okay so we usually go on pack trails because it’s bonding and stuff, in the forest.” Brendon began and Josh nodded, clinging to the back of Dallon’s chair with white knuckles. “Genius here, just _has_ to save every little thing he finds right? And I love you for that Dallon I promise I’m just frustrated.” Brendon added on the end as Dallon looked distraught, it was evident that he blamed himself for this, whatever had happened. 

Brendon squeezed Dallon’s hand and Josh wanted to give them a minute but now wasn’t the time. “Then what?” He pressed and Brendon turned back to him. 

“So a few months back Dallon found out that like ravens lead wolves to prey and stuff I’m not really sure but he followed some a few weeks back on our last trail and found some hunters about to kill a deer and we intervened but obviously… now they know there are wolves in Ohio.” 

Josh nodded trying his hardest to follow along. 

“These hunters set traps for us, we think they’re poachers, trying to get fur coat to sell or something because that traps were all poisoned food and obviously we’re not real wolves so we disarmed all the traps we found. Then this morning Tyler was leading us to this meadow he-he wanted to get some wild flowers for you actually-” Brendon rubbed a shaky hand through his hair but Josh could only watch on in shock, his heart pounding. 

“Then the poachers were waiting and Tyler’s so much faster than us so he was alone and they shot him with something and we-” Brendon started to get choked up. 

“It’s all my fault Josh I’m so sorry.” Dallon interrupted but Josh shook his head. 

“Where is he? Is he okay?” Josh asked frantically. 

“He had to have a blood transfusion but I-I think he’s gonna be okay it’s made him really weak because the blood, it’s human it’ll take him a while to recover from that.” Brendon explained and Josh knew if he’d been standing he’d have collapsed from relief. 

He felt tears burn his eyes as they quickly approached the hospital. Dallon pulled into the hospital drop off point and Brendon was quick to get Abigail out of the seat before Josh held her in his arms so Brendon could lead the way. 

When they stood outside the building Josh couldn’t stop the anxiety that locked up his chest. He hadn’t been to this hospital since his dad had died in it, and the memories it brought back bowled him over. 

Brendon put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Tyler needs you.” He said and Josh nodded, shifting Abigail in his arms and taking a deep breath. He compartmentalised the panic attack that was forcing its way up his throat, all his thoughts on Tyler, the love of his life who _needed_ him. 

Josh took off running into the building, Brendon easily keeping pace before leading him to the right wing and room. Josh could barely breath from running so hard, panting heavily but he stood outside the room for a second, collecting himself. Brendon took a very confused Abigail from Josh’s arms as his whole body shook with nerves. 

Carefully Josh knocked on the door, a female voice told him to come in so he pushed open the door with shaky hands. Brendon gave him an encouraging smile when Josh looked back at him and Josh tried to return it but it looked forced. 

Tyler was sleeping in the bed, his skin the palest Josh had ever seen it, wires all up his arms hooked up to machines and the image was too familiar Josh thought he was about to throw up. A blonde woman was sat by his bedside, running a hand through his fluffy hair, her other hand had faint black veins running up it that she tried to conceal from Josh. 

“Are you Joshua?” She asked, and Josh felt his throat dry up. He only nodded. “I’m Kelly, his mom. I’m the one who sent Brendon to get you.”

“Y-you did?” Josh asked, voice raw. He still felt panic sitting in the back of his throat, waiting to pounce. The sound of his voice seemed to effect Tyler, his eyes instantly blinked open and he shifted to lock eyes with him. 

“Come here.” Tyler said, too weak to reach out for Josh, his voice like sandpaper. 

Josh let out a small whimper, instantly walking over to the bedside. 

“Holding him will help him. Omega mates have healing properties.” Tyler’s mother said, gesturing for Josh to get closer. Josh looked at her, as he gently encased Tyler’s hand in his own. 

“But I’m not an omega.” Josh replied sadly, not taking his eyes away from Tyler’s now shut ones.

“His body doesn’t know the difference, I noticed it a while back but he behaves like he would if you were a wolf.” Kelly smiled ever so slightly. “Your bond is incredibly strong.” 

Josh felt his heart skip.

“Hold him.” Kelly repeated before getting up to leave the room. Saying something about being back in a few minutes. 

“Dude, get on the bed.” Tyler mumbled sleepily, using what little strength he had to tug at Josh’s hand, his eyes remained closed. 

Josh wanted to roll his eyes but he was still too panicked. Cautiously he manoeuvred onto the bed to lie beside Tyler, careful of the wires. 

Tyler reached up to pull Josh’s head onto his chest, running his fingers limply back and forth in Josh’s hair. Even when he was in hospital he was still trying to comfort Josh first and it made Josh’s chest ache. He stifled a sob. 

“I’m sorry my mom made you come here.” Tyler slurred into Josh’s hair, voice thick with drowsiness. 

“Why?” Josh sniffed. He tried to pull Tyler closer, he didn’t smell like Tyler, he smelt of dirt and bleach and antiseptic, he smelt fake and wrong and it made Josh angry. Angry at the people who put Tyler in the hospital. 

“Because I know this must be overwhelming for you.” Tyler said and Josh knew it was all he had to say, that he understood. Josh shook his head. 

“I cared more about knowing you were safe. I’ve never been so scared Tyler, if you’d…” he trailed off as he sobbed into Tyler’s hospital gown, the thought alone too devastating to speak. “I’ve never been so scared of anything.” Josh’s voice was so quiet but Tyler heard it, pulling Josh closer instinctively. 

Tyler sighed with relief, relaxing into the bed a bit more, Josh didn’t understand how he was helping but if it was working then he’d hold onto Tyler for forever if that was how to keep him safe. 

“What happened?”

“Poachers.” Tyler mumbled still half asleep, but his eyes were open now, his nose buried into Josh’s hair. After a pause Tyler continued. “We dismantled our traps so they used poison darts, didn’t want to shoot us, blood would ruin our fur.” He said casually and Josh sat up to look at him, 

“Please tell me Michael ripped their spines out.” He said anger filling him and Tyler chuckled weakly. 

“My little alley cat.” Tyler smiled pulling Josh down into his chest again. “So feisty.” He sighed. 

“I’ll kill anyone who hurts you, I don’t need wolf powers to do that.” Josh sneered and Tyler made a coo-ing noise. 

“Baby you’re like the softest person ever but it’s cute that you’d do that for me.” Tyler smiled and pressed a kiss into Josh’s hair. He was already so much more awake and stronger just after a little bit of cuddling. 

Josh grunted his disapproval at the statement but snuggled closer to Tyler anyway.

They lay together for a while in silence, Tyler soaking up Josh’s presence. After a while Kelly returned to the room, smiling at how much brighter her son seemed already. She sat and made polite conversation with Josh who felt embarrassed that his first meeting with Josh’s mother was happening while he almost aggressively cuddled her son. 

When the small talk died out, Josh spoke up.

“So what poison was it? That they used?” Josh asked, mainly because he seemed to want to torture himself some more. 

“It’s called theobromine, in high concentrations it’s incredibly toxic to wolves and dogs. If Tyler hadn’t been part human he most likely wouldn’t have made it, their stuff was mixed with some other nasty things apparently. Also, the red bull _someone_ drank beforehand didn’t help.” Kelly berated with a pointed look at her son who sheepishly hid his face in Josh’s hair. 

“Why would someone even think to use something like that?” Josh asked confused. 

“It’s what’s found in chocolate.” Kelly said nonchalantly and Josh gave Tyler a pointed look. 

“Are you allergic to chocolate?” He asked and when Tyler refused to look at him Josh lightly smacked his arm. “You ate Abigail’s brownies the other week and you didn’t say anything.” Josh added exasperated. 

Kelly berated Tyler and Tyler pouted guiltily. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Josh said and Tyler shrugged. “You ate two of them!” Josh shrieked remembering how Tyler had practically inhaled the baked goods. 

“I do crazy things for love Josh.” He teased and Josh scowled at him. 

“Small quantities of brownies is fine, his human genes tend to make it easy to digest those but higher quantities are too much to handle for him.” Kelly said trying to ease the situation. “He’s usually sick when he goes too hard on chocolate and then he’s fine again. But he still shouldn’t have eaten things like that.” 

“Sorry mom.” Tyler said sheepishly, sitting up a little and making grabby hands for Josh to cuddle him again. 

Josh being whipped and just glad Tyler is alive can’t deny the chance to hold him anymore and settled back down. 

“Please don’t be mad at me, I really like those brownies.” Tyler whispered and Josh couldn’t help but scoff out a laugh, easily forgiving his boyfriend. 

Meanwhile Dallon sat with his head in his hands trying to stop beating himself up. Brendon tapped his leg frantically, he had nothing to distract himself because he’d let Abigail play games on his phone to keep her complacent. 

“Stop it.” Brendon said, his hand instantly rubbing soothing circles on his boyfriend’s back. 

Dallon looked up. “If I hadn’t attacked those stupid hunters they’d never have known about the pack.” He said and Brendon shook his head. 

He could see this conversation getting heavy so he turned to the eight-year-old, pulling a few crumpled dollar bills from his pocket and handed them to her. 

“Hey, Bee do you wanna go get some candy from the vending machine over there?” He gestured to the corner of the waiting area and Abigail nodded, still clutching his phone in one hand as she slipped off the chair and walked over to the machine. 

Brendon’s eyes followed her but he began talking to Dallon again. Taking his hand in his. 

“Dal, Tyler is alive because you acted so fast, if you hadn’t been there we’d all have just frozen and not know what to do. You saved him, that hunter was a scumbag and you saving animals from him isn’t something to be ashamed of or feel guilty for. Tyler will be back to normal in a few weeks and it will be like nothing happened. Plus I don’t think we will be seeing that poacher again after Jenna almost ripped his arm off.”

Dallon took a shaky breath, squeezing Brendon’s hand and finally sitting up to kiss him softly. “Thank you, I’m so lucky to have found you.” He said and Brendon nodded. 

“Yes you are.” He grinned and Dallon rolled his eyes and shoved him playfully, both of them letting out soft chuckles. 

Brendon turned, expecting to see Abigail walking back over to him but his smile fell when he realised she wasn’t there. He stood up rapidly, and Dallon instantly copied, also on alert. 

“She’s gone.” He said, panic rising. 

Josh jumped when the hospital door almost flew up open, revealing Brendon’s horrified and pale face. 

“I lost Abigail.” He said, knowing not to sugar-coat it. Josh was off the bed instantly. 

“How?” Josh almost yelled, angry and fearing the worst. 

“I don’t know s-she was just there one minute and I turned around and she was gone the next.” Brendon said. 

“Brendon, track her scent.” Kelly said, trying to hold Tyler in place, as he was trying to get up. 

“I have an idea where she went.” Josh said, his heart sinking into his stomach. 

Everyone looked at him for a second before he was rushing out of the room and yelling for Brendon to follow him. 

Abigail stood outside the hospital room, staring in at the man who lay in the bed, her small body rigid. A few people around her gave her worried looks, until a nurse came over and crouched beside her. 

“Hey there, sweet pea, are you lost?” She asked but Abigail only stared at the room, at the unfamiliar people inside it, her eyes brimming with tears. 

“Bumblebee?” Came a soft voice behind her and she instantly turned around to see her big brother’s tear filled eyes. Josh knelt down and opened his eyes and Abigail immediately ran to him, bursting into snotty ugly tears as soon as her body collided with his. 

The nurse smiled sadly at the pair before going about her rounds again. 

Brendon hung back, relieved to have found her and once again suppressing the emotions inside himself. Abigail wasn’t _his_ sister, this wasn’t time for him to make things about himself. 

Josh scooped Abigail up in his arms, tears slipping down his cheeks too as he cradled her close and let her wrap her legs around him. 

Shaking he carried to wailing little girl all the way back to Tyler’s hospital room. He was almost impressed that Abigail had managed to remember the route to the room, that after a year or so she could still find it. But then something broke within himself when he realised that she must remember everything, that even though she was too young to fully understand until now, that she had been to that same room so often that she knew the way a year later, he held her closer and kissed her head. 

“It’s okay, don’t cry.” He repeated soothingly to her, his voice soft and the hand not supporting her weight smoothing over her head as she clung to him. 

Josh sought Tyler out, he had to be with him, it was the only thing he could think to do because Tyler was his rock and he really needed him right now, he was so overwhelmed. 

Tyler looked up when Josh walked in, still soothing Abigail whose tears were becoming hiccupped sniffles. 

Kelly decided to leave when she saw them. Giving them some space and Josh smiled gratefully. 

Tyler instantly shifted over in the bed so Josh could lie down, placing Abigail between their bodies as she still clung to Josh. 

Tyler pressed his forehead to Josh’s and put his leg over Josh’s to keep as many contact points as possible around the crying eight-year-old. Gently Tyler wiped the soft tears off Josh’s face with the pads of his thumbs, careful not to pull on the tubes still attached to his arms. 

Josh doesn’t know how long it took for Abigail to fall asleep, but eventually she lay limp, pressed between the two boys, mouth open, puffy pink cheeks tear soaked and hugging Josh’s elbow to her head like it was her teddy bear. 

Josh watched her sadly while Tyler watched him. Delicately taking Josh’s face in his hands and kissing him softly. 

“You’re so strong, and I’m so proud of you. You’re such a good brother and person and I love you so much.” Tyler promised, kissing Josh again. 

Josh felt his bottom lip tremble and tried to hide it but Tyler noticed, smoothing a thumb over it, while his other pushed curls off his forehead. He held Josh’s face closer and kissed all the skin he could find on Josh’s face. 

“Today has been horrible. I-I never want to go through this kind of day again.” Josh sniffed, voice low so as not to wake Abigail. 

Tyler kissed his nose and wiped tears off his cheeks. 

“It’ll take a lot more than some asshole poacher to kill me. Don’t worry about me just focus on breathing and making sure you’re okay.” Tyler said, rubbing their noses together. 

“Am I cursed? Is that what this is, I’m just never allowed to be happy?” 

“Josh, don’t say that.” Tyler frowned. “I know your head is telling you that the world’s falling apart right now but it’s lying to you. Look at me.” Tyler nudged his head so that their eyes met in an intense gaze. “I’m alive. I’m going to heal and be back to normal soon. I’m okay. Abigail is going to get over this, in fact this might even have helped her process everything. There is always a bright side.” Tyler said and Josh frowned. 

“Not in the vacuum of space, there’s no light there.” He grumbled and Tyler rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah well, if you’re in space then you don’t have to do homework so _see_ , there really _is_ always a bright side.” Tyler said and Josh couldn’t help but laugh. 

After a soft silence where Josh stared at Tyler’s lips until Tyler got the hint and kissed him, Josh spoke up again. “I’m sorry you’re always taking care of me, you’re the one who needs taking care of right now, I’m so selfish.”

“No you’re not. You don’t ask me for help Josh, I give it because I love you and I want you to see how completely amazing you are, because I need you to feel how much I love you.” Tyler pressed their foreheads together again, his fingers playing with the curls at the nape of Josh’s neck. “Besides you are helping me, your presence is all I need to get better, why can’t we both help each other at the same time. You did something really difficult coming here, you deserve to know how strong you are and how proud I am of you.” 

“I’m really thinking they need to start inventing more words to explain how much I love you Tyler. Those words just aren’t enough, I can’t fathom it, it’s so much.” Josh said, another tear slipping down onto the pillow. 

“I love you more than words too.” Tyler promised pressing his lips firmly to Josh’s and clinging on for dear life. Even if the world around them spun too fast, their lips would anchor them, they could cling to the edge of the universe together and forget the chaos was even happening, riding it out ‘til it stopped. Their locked eyes would prevent them from getting dizzy and the force of their kisses would keep them pinned down to the floor so they couldn’t slip off. 

If Josh had known he would feel this much, that feeling _anything_ again, let alone something so powerful was actually possible for him a year ago, he thinks he wouldn’t have believed it. He’d stopped living a long time ago but Tyler had dug through the ashes and found the small life source buried at the bottom and fed the flames until they were a raging inferno, his cold bones weren’t just a plastic casing, a vessel to play pretend human in anymore, he had a purpose and a reason to go from point a to point b. He wasn’t empty bones and a charred soul, he was heat and passion and emotion and flesh and blood, he was real and awake and he didn’t ever want to give up on himself ever again. He would move heaven and earth for Tyler, because he was the first thing that ever showed him, he wasn’t living in hell. 

Josh kissed Tyler with force, desperate to hold the moment in his heart forever, filed away with every other press of Tyler’s plump lips and every soft bruise his fingers left on Josh’s hips, and every lick of his tongue inside Josh’s mouth, with the way Tyler smelled like a forest, and the taste of his skin and the way growled playfully when Josh teased him. Next to the first brush of their fingers over Tyler’s English textbook, or the first time, Tyler had been so close to Josh’s face he could feel his breath on his cheek at the diner. Next to every I love you and soft words and soothing praise and every time he’d fallen asleep in that same position; head on Tyler’s shoulder, knees bracketing his hips, Tyler’s nimble fingers drawing patterns down his spine. 

If the world stop turning altogether, Josh’s last thought would always be that Tyler showed him what love was and he knew that he’d be okay with that.   
Finally the two pulled apart for air, smiling giddily as Tyler traced his fingers along Josh’s nose and kept their foreheads together. Abigail sighed and shifted in her sleep and both boys blushed having almost entirely forgotten she was there, but they both watched her fondly. 

Tyler kissed Josh’s forehead and rested their heads together as they watched the little girl. Josh tried to brush a hair off his sister's face but his free arm was trapped underneath her. Tyler gently stroked the hair away himself. 

“Hey, Ty.” Josh said and Tyler hummed, softly rubbing his hand up and down Abigail’s arm. “If you ever so much as look at another bar of chocolate I’ll kill you.” Josh’s lips were upturned in a smile he couldn’t suppress and Tyler bit back a laugh of his own. 

“It’s cute you think you can take me baby, I like the optimism, hold onto that way of thinking.” Tyler teased, nipping at Josh’s nose, pushing his own into Josh’s hairline and pressing a firm kiss to his forehead. 

“Says the guy in a hospital bed who couldn’t even lift his arms a few hours ago.” Josh teased back. 

“Touché.” Tyler replied, eyes closing and letting his body relax. 

Josh watched him lovingly and snuggled closer between his sister and boyfriend. Oblivious to Brendon watching in the doorway, his expression unreadable. 

“Hey, you okay?” Dallon asked softly, placing a hand on Brendon’s back. Brendon snapped out of his daze and turned to his boyfriend. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He smiled. Dallon nodded and gestured for them to sit down, Brendon turned to follow him, subtly wiping a stray tear from his eye before anyone could notice.


	23. Bedroom Window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a short fluffy filler :)
> 
> SMUT WARNING !!!!!

It took Tyler a few weeks to fully recover from the blood transfusion, the human blood in his system making him weak and leaving him unable to turn for a short while. It made Tyler antsy and restless and often extra aggressive when spooning. 

“Tyler, if you don’t lie still, I’m gonna kill you.” Josh huffed, half asleep into his pillow. Tyler growled but pulled Josh into his chest and tried to sleep. 

He lasted all of five minutes before he was shifting again and Josh took a deep breath. “Baby what’s wrong?” He sighed, turning over to face the alpha. 

“I feel all wrong, it’s like there’s this itch I can’t scratch. I think my body is ready to turn but my blood hasn’t got rid of all the foreign shit yet.” He huffed and Josh fumbled for his face in the dark. 

“Eyes.” He said and Tyler instantly knew what he was asking for. Dim red pupils appeared out of the darkness but as they locked with Josh’s they grew brighter than they’d been in weeks. Josh gasped a little. “They’re almost back to normal.” He said still a little baffled. 

“What is it?” Tyler asked sensing Josh tense. 

“Nothing you’re just breath-taking.” Josh replied honestly and Tyler was glad it was dark so he could blush without Josh noticing. “Can you kiss me? I can’t see.” Josh asked softly and Tyler smiled, using his enhanced senses to press his lips perfectly to Josh’s. Josh sighed into the kiss, opening his mouth to slowly deepen it. 

“Thank you.” Josh said when they finally pulled away, stealing one last peck from Tyler’s lips before turning back around. “Now get some sleep, it’s supposed to help with healing or something.” Josh said tiredly, pulling Tyler’s arm back around him. 

Tyler smiled and pulled Josh flush against him, startling him a little. “You help with healing.” Tyler replied playfully, nipping at Josh’s neck and causing him to squirm and laugh. 

“Okay bedtime for big strong alphas now.” Josh mumbled sleepily, smacking his lips a little and snuggling down. 

Tyler smiled fondly and pressed a soft kiss to Josh’s shoulder before finally relaxing enough to sleep. 

Two days later Josh was startled awake by excited scratching at his window. Josh sat bolt upright, startled by the sound. Carefully he got out of bed, stumbling a bit and rubbing his eyes and moving to open his curtains. 

He almost jumped when his eyes adjusted to bright sunlight enough to reveal a big black wolf that was pawing excitedly at his window. Josh’s face burst out into a smile as he lifted open the window enough to let Tyler in. 

Tyler instantly jumped down running circles around his boyfriend and making him trip up a little and fall onto the bed. Tyler jumped up onto the bed too, rolling around excitedly, his tail wagging happily as Josh laughed and bounced the bed a little. Tyler yipped excitedly wiggling his bum and pirouetting as though to say to Josh ‘look at me’.

Josh laughed happily before remembering he didn’t know who was home and putting a hand over his mouth. Josh flopped back on his bed, and Tyler instantly began sniffing his face licking his cheek in excitement. 

“Tyler.” Josh whined, wiping off the slobber. “We discussed the licking.” He berated, a fond edge to his tone. Tyler sat down, kneading his paws into Josh’s chest and letting out a sound that sounded a bit like an apology. 

Josh reached up to rub between his ears. Before sitting up and knocking Tyler off him. Tyler rolled over a couple times, cocking his head and sticking his tongue out in an adorable gesture that made Josh almost choke. Josh gestured with his head for Tyler to join him so Tyler jumped off the bed after him, paws still bouncing excitedly and tail wagging. 

Josh dropped a pair of boxers followed by a t-shirt and jeans onto the floor in front of the wolf, who yipped and picked them up, going into the bathroom. Tyler practically ran out of the bathroom, t-shirt barely over his head, scooping Josh up and spinning him around. 

“I’m happy for you Ty.” Josh laughed as Tyler kissed him happily and put him down. “But now I have to wash my sheets.” Josh teased and Tyler looked at him confused. 

"You know you malt everywhere, right?” Josh said with a look, and Tyler blushed. “My mom thinks we're hiding a stray or something." 

"Sorry.” Tyler replied sheepishly, but Josh only smiled and shook his head. His arms wrapping around Tyler’s neck. 

"It's okay, I think you’re really cute when you’re a dog." 

Tyler scoffed, a small growl edging his voice as he spoke. "I'm not a dog Josh, I’m a wolf, an alpha. I’m big and scary and could rip your face off, I’m not _cute_." Tyler huffed, pouting and Josh couldn’t stop himself from kissing him. Pulling Tyler by the t-shirt until their lips were crashing together, teeth clashing and before they knew it Tyler’s hands were on his hips and the t-shirt he’d only just put on was off again. 

“Your mom’s home.” Tyler warned against Josh’s mouth as they continued to make out. Josh pushed Tyler back towards the bed, fumbling with the button on the jeans Tyler was wearing. 

“I don’t care.” Josh said breathlessly, lips immediately reattaching to Tyler’s. This was all Tyler needed to hear however as he instantly yanked Josh’s shirt up and off his head. Before picking Josh up to wrap his legs around his hips and throwing him roughly onto the bed. 

Josh smiled up at him, letting Tyler climb on top of him. They held eye contact for a moment while they caught their breath, a whole conversation being held in their gaze, as they poured all their love and affection across to one another wordlessly. Tyler traced the lines of Josh’s face tenderly, as though scared he’d ruin the perfect smooth curves of his cheeks or his dimples, like he was scared Josh was a sculpture or some artwork that would crumble to dust underneath him and be lost forever. 

“I love you.” Josh beat Tyler to it, saying the worst that were just about to spill out of his own mouth. 

“I was gonna say that first.” Tyler whined. 

“Technically you did, so I’m allowed to say it first this time.” Josh replied and Tyler’s face broke out into a smile. 

“I can do one better anyway.” He winked and Josh looked at him confused. Tyler kissed him slowly, savouring it. “I can show you how much I love you.” Tyler continued before trailing hot kisses down Josh’s neck, teeth nipping and dragging as he went, down past his chest –not before leaving a heart shaped hickey behind- down his stomach until he was pulling off Josh’s pyjama pants to reveals his already hard member. 

Josh let out little moans and whimpers as Tyler bit bruises up his thighs, making Josh shudder and fist at the sheets. 

His eyes screwed shut as he tried to stay quiet as Tyler’s tongue began working open his entrance. Tyler hummed against his skin and Josh gasped, back arching a second later as Tyler found his prostate. 

When Tyler was sure Josh was ready enough he pulled away, letting Josh cling to him and pant heavily against his shoulder. Tyler ran a hand through Josh’s hair soothingly until Josh squirmed, reaching to push the jeans off Tyler’s hips. Tyler shuffled out of his remaining clothes and grabbed a bottle of lube Josh hid in his drawer before settling himself on top of Josh again. He ran his fingertips up Josh’s side soothingly. 

Josh reached a hand down to stroke Tyler’s length causing him to choke out a moan. Josh latched their lips together as he worked Tyler for a little bit, until Tyler was pushing at his wrist and sitting back. He lubed himself up before cautiously shifting on top of Josh again. 

Tyler kissed Josh dizzy, distracting him from the discomfort as he bottomed out inside his boyfriend. Josh squeezed Tyler’s arm hard, trying to slow his breathing and relax as his body adjusted to the fullness. 

“You’re doing great baby.” Tyler said with a wide smile, he kissed all over Josh’s face. “I love you so much.” He promised softly and Josh nodded, lifting his hips as indication that Tyler could move. Tyler started off with slow thrusts, only picking up pace when Josh whined against his lips. 

Frustrated that Tyler was being too gentle, treating Josh like he was made of glass when he wanted anything but, Josh took things into his own hand. 

He used the element of surprise to flip them over, sitting up and sinking back down onto Tyler in a way that made him almost cry out. 

“You’re so hot.” Tyler said sitting up a bit and pulling Josh’s lips crashing down onto his. Josh smiled into the kiss before grinding his hips, letting Tyler bruise his hips as he brought Josh down to meet his thrusts. 

It wasn’t long before both boys were close, swallowing too loud moans and thrusts getting sloppy in their rhythm until Josh cried out into the crook of Tyler’s neck, both of them reaching their climax at the same time. 

After they’d come down, Josh remained sat in Tyler’s lap, curled around his boyfriend, breathing hard. 

“Good morning to you too.” Josh finally said, breaking the silence with a soft chuckle. 

Tyler laughed too, peppering kisses along his shoulder and neck before nosing at Josh’s jaw. 

“One day we’re gonna be able to do this any morning we want.” Tyler said and Josh turned his head to look at Tyler. His hands cupping the brunette’s face and wiping his hair off his forehead. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean when we have a house of our own and we wake up in the same bed together every morning.” Tyler said softly, his hand running up and down Josh’s spine, tracing the notches through his skin delicately. 

Josh felt happiness bubble in his chest and a tingle behind his nose that told him his eyes were about to water, he radiated happiness and Tyler felt it flood through himself thanks to their bond. 

“I can’t wait to marry the shit out of you one day.” 

“Marriage. A dream house. Maybe some kids later on.” Tyler said and Josh nodded aggressively. Tears gathering as the size of his smile made his cheeks ache. “It’s all ours baby boy, just wait.” Tyler smiled too, squeezing Josh closer as they kissed passionately once again. 

“We should get cleaned up before someone catches us.” Josh said, blushing a little and Tyler nodded, letting Josh go with a quick kiss to his forehead. He smiled wider when Josh reached out to pull him off the bed and into the bathroom with him.


	24. Joseph Manor

Josh's laughter could be heard throughout the house as he doubled over, trying to force air into his lungs. Brendon howled and kept running around the room, his tail knocking into things. Josh tried to shush him but he was still laughing too hard to speak. 

The grey wolf jumped off the bed and began burrowing through the mess of clothes at the bottom of Josh's wardrobe, poking his head back out covered in crumpled t-shirts and making Josh laugh as the wolf shook them off. 

He continued to sniff through Josh's things while Josh tried to calm down until the wolf was bouncing on his paws and grabbing the wolf plushie off the floor and shaking it, growling and playing with it. 

"No, Bren not that." Josh said, all humour leaving his voice. He reached for the plush but the wolf moved out of his reach, lowering onto his front paws and shaking the plushie again. He growled playfully, challenging Josh but Josh didn't want to play. 

"Brendon drop it, it's not funny." Josh said but Brendon just bounced around, teasing him. 

Josh managed to grab for the wolf toy but Brendon pulled back and a small ripping noise could be heard. Josh's eyes went wide and he instantly pushed Brendon's nose off the toy and took it back, turning his back on his friend to inspect the toy. 

Realising he messed up Brendon turned back into his human form and grabbed his clothes off the floor and quickly re-dressed. 

"Josh?"

Silence. 

"Come on Josh, it was an accident, I didn't mean to rip it." Brendon cautiously put his hand on his best friend's shoulder but Josh shrugged him off, wiping his face and going about putting the plushie on his desk.

"It's fine." Josh mumbled.

"Dude, are you crying?" Brendon teased and Josh turned on him.

"Shut up." Josh snapped and Brendon looked at him shocked.

"It's just a toy I'm sure it can be fixed, Josh."

"I said it's okay!" Josh replied again, clearly aggravated.

"Okay sheesh, what's your damage dude?"

"My damage?! Bren, you just ripped something important to me after i asked you to leave it alone and then proceeded to completely invalidate my feelings about it, i should be asking what your damage is!"

"Josh it's a toy, you're almost eighteen years old are you really getting emotional over this?" Brendon scoffed.

"You know Tyler gave this to me, you know it means something to me, don't be a dick." Josh argued back.

Brendon narrowed his eyes, seemingly at the mention of the true alpha. "Don't call me a dick, you're completely over-reacting."

"Don't do that." Josh said bitterly and Brendon flinched. "Don't invalidate my feelings. You're lashing out for some reason i don't understand. You've always known why that wolf is special to me, this isn't like you Bren, so why are you doing this?"

There was a pause while Josh's eyes searched Brendon's expression for an explanation.

"Is this.... Are you..." Josh began slowly, weary of Brendon's reaction, Brendon looked up at him, eyebrows raised. "Are you jealous.... of Tyler? Of my relationship? or Something?"

"I'm not jealous of Tyler." He instantly replied , angry, fists curling up and Josh rolled his eyes.

"Then what is your problem with our relationship because you've been acting weird for weeks now? What happened to 'he'll listen. He cares about you. He'll be good for you.'" Josh asked quoting Brendon back to himself.

"Nothing's the matter Josh you're being ridiculous it was a dumb stuffed animal, it really wasn't that deep." Brendon scoffed looking away from Josh.

"Stop. Doing that." Josh practically snarled, causing both boys to glare at one another.

They were interrupted from their stand-off by Tyler opening Josh's bedroom door. 

"How did you get here?" Brendon snapped and Tyler looked between the two boys worriedly. 

"Ashley let me in, are you okay your heart rate is super high right now?" Tyler asked stepping over to take Josh's hands in his. 

Josh looked down at the floor trying to push down all the anxiety bubbling away. 

"What did you do?" Tyler asked Brendon and Brendon instantly took offence, growling. 

"Of course you think this is my fault." He snarled and Tyler squared up to him, his eyes glowing red in challenge as Brendon's turned orange. 

"Stop." Josh said, wrapping his arms around Tyler's waist to hold him back.  "Brendon I don't know what's wrong but when you wanna talk about it I'll be waiting." Josh said slowly, looking over Tyler's shoulder. 

Brendon looked down at the floor but didn't say anything. 

Tyler visibly relaxed, blinking his eyes back to brown before turning around to cup Josh's cheeks. "You okay?" He asked softly and Josh nodded. "Okay are you ready to go?"

"Go where?" Brendon piped up. 

Tyler turned to look at him. "My house. He's coming to the campfire tonight." 

Brendon furrowed his brow. "Tell me you're joking?" He scoffed. 

Tyler and Josh looked at him confused. 

"Seriously, what the fuck is going on with you, Brendon?" Josh asked baffled, he'd never seen Brendon behave like this and it was starting to piss him off. 

"My mom said I had to bring him, he's part of the pack now whether you want him to be or not." Tyler explained and Josh felt hurt at the words. 

"Do you not want me in the pack?" Josh asked self-consciously and Brendon frowned but didn't know what to say. He couldn't explain what he was feeling anymore and he didn't trust himself not to make a mistake and push Josh away so far he never came back. 

"Maybe you shouldn't come tonight if you're gonna be like this." Tyler said to Brendon before turning to his boyfriend. He ran his hands up and down Josh's arms to soothe him. "Hey, listen, I'm the alpha not him, and you're my mate, you belong in the pack more than anyone okay?" Tyler reassured Josh and Josh nodded. 

"Okay." Josh smiled weakly letting Tyler peck him on the lips. "Is your mom any good at sewing?" He asked quietly and Tyler looked at him confused. Quickly Josh retrieved the ripped plushie and handed it over to Tyler who tensed, smelling Brendon's scent all over it. He growled low in his throat and turned to look at Brendon. Josh grabbed his arm to stop him storming over. 

"Brendon maybe you should just go, I'm leaving now anyway." Josh said and Brendon didn't reply only found his shoes and shoved them on before heading out. 

As soon as he left Josh pulled Tyler into a hug. "I don't know why he's being like this but I'm worried." He said into Tyler's shoulder. 

Tyler kissed the side of his head. "I'll talk to Dallon, he might know. Also, I'm sure my mom can fix this and neutralise the scent so it doesn't smell like Brendon." Tyler said holding up the plushie. "Come on let's go." He said softly, pulling away from Josh to let him gather his things. 

The two boys piled into Tyler's car, instantly laughing as Tyler's radio began playing N*Sync. The wolf plushie sat deflated on Josh's lap, it's arm hanging off. Tyler scrunched his nose and opened a window, still stewing about Brendon's scent lingering over it. 

"Are you sure it's okay for me to come tonight?" Josh asked sheepishly and Tyler looked at him briefly, putting a hand out to squeeze his knee in reassurance. 

"Yes, my mom insisted okay, stop worrying." Tyler said and Josh took his hand. 

"Maybe he's right." Josh sighed, looking at the toy. "It's just a stuffie like I'm almost eighteen I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be getting emotional over a stuffie, that's Abigail's job."

"Josh it's not stupid, that stuffie helps your anxiety right?" Tyler asked and Josh nodded shyly. "Then it's not dumb, plus it holds sentimental value so." Tyler said and Josh pulled his hand up to kiss the back of it. 

"It only helps me because you gave it to me." Josh admitted and Tyler beamed with pride, only letting go of Josh's hand so he could turn onto a dirt track. 

"Okay so like, fair warning about my family." Tyler began and Josh rolled his eyes playfully. "No, seriously, okay Zack just presented so he's kinda really standoffish right now, so if he tries to boss you around just tell me okay. Also, Jay finally started turning so he's kinda spending all of his time in wolf form so if you see what looks like a dog, it's not a dog, it's just Jay. Mom says it's a phase, but Dad reckons he might be a naturalist."

"A what?" Josh asked trying to keep up. 

"Wolves who prefer to live most of their time as wolves in the wild." Tyler explained, turning into a long drive lined with trees. It was then that Josh remembered Tyler was rich, as he saw the huge house appear. Josh gulped, intimidated already and he hadn't even gotten inside yet. "Oh also Maddy gets super shy around boys so like it's not personal she just freaks out when I bring boys over it's probably a thirteen-year-old girl thing, I have no clue."

Josh nodded, bracing himself as Tyler pulled into a parking spot at the side of the house and got out. Tyler took his hand, rubbing it soothingly and guiding him around to the front door.

The first thing that happened when Tyler opened the front door was a small wolf ran over to him, tail wagging excitedly, instantly jumping on him to get his attention. Josh flinched, thinking it was about to jump on him. He may be good with Tyler and Brendon but he will always be a cat person and he was kinda proud of that fact. The wolf pup looked a lot like Tyler, but it's fur was more brown, with splotches of warm brown down his back, his eyes were plain and yellow but it still yipped excitedly at the sight of the two boys. Sniffing at Josh excitedly. 

"Jay, get over here." Someone snapped and the pup froze ears perking before instantly running over the person's side. 

"Zack, you don't have to boss him around just because you can alpha command now doesn't mean you should." Tyler rolled his eyes and gestured with his head for Josh to follow him. He patted Jay between his ears and he nuzzled into the sign of affection, before ruffling Zack's hair causing him to growl and a small wrestling play fight to break out between the two boys. 

"Uh, no fighting in the house!" Kelly's voice echoed through the house. 

"How does she do that?" Zack huffed, straightening out his shirt as the two broke apart. 

"Moms have superpowers." Tyler joked and Jay yipped in agreement. Josh smiled and it was then that Tyler seemed to remember himself, blushing a little. "So, uh, guys this is Josh." He said and both the boy and the wolf pup turned to look at him in sync. 

Josh couldn't help but feel instantly intimidated. 

"He's too good for you." Zack sniffed. "Run while you still can Josh." Zack said and Tyler growled and shoved him. 

"Don't tell him that." 

Josh laughed awkwardly before flinching, only just realising Jay was right beside him, sniffing at the stuffie in his hand. 

"Jay, leave it." Tyler said noticing. "Yes, he knows it's ripped, genius, that's why he brought it." Tyler explained, replying to something Jay must've communicated to him, leaving Josh utterly confused. Jay sniffed the plushie again before whining and scampering off.

"I'll go take it to mom see if she can fix it. Just make yourself comfortable." Tyler said gently taking the plushie before gesturing to the couch. With an awkward nod Josh sat down, nervous as Zack sat at the other end of the couch and begun staring him down. 

"Mom, can you sew?" Tyler said as a way of greeting, stepping into the laundry room where his mom was currently pulling bed sheets out of the dryer. 

"Of course what do you need sewing honey?" she asked not looking up. When Tyler thrust the plushie at her she finally looked up, wincing as she smelled it, carefully she took it and began inspecting the rip. 

"Brendon?" She asked without looking up. 

Tyler nodded. "Brendon." 

"I can fix this, no problem honey. I can use that new detergent that removes odours too so hopefully it won't smell quiet so..." she hesitated, placing the plushie on the side and wiping her hands on a freshly dried towel. "pungent." She said and Tyler snorted. 

"Thanks mom, you're the best." He said kissing her cheek. Before she could say anything else Tyler was practically skipping back to find Josh. 

"...So is it true you can Omega command Ty?" Zack asked leaning forward into Josh's space. 

"Uh, apparently..." Josh replied a little uncomfortable. 

"Zack would ya lay off you're freaking him out." Tyler said walking in on the conversation. Instantly Zack backed off apologising sheepishly.

"It's okay." Josh smiled softly and Zack smiled back a little. 

Tyler perched on the arm of the couch, slipping an arm down to rest on Josh's back, rubbing between his shoulder blades comfortingly. Josh exhaled softly and rested his head into Tyler's side, looking up at him fondly.

"Ew gross i'm leaving." Zack said looking at the two. Tyler simply rolled his eyes as Josh blushed and looked down at his lap, the tips of his ears going pink. Zack shoved Tyler's shoulder as he walked past, almost knocking him over. 

Before Tyler could retaliate the doorbell rang out. 

"I'll get it." Zack said before going to answer it. 

Tyler moved to sit beside Josh, pulling him closer and kissing his cheek. Josh smiled, his eyes lingering on Tyler's lips but before he could lean in to kiss them Tyler was looking past him at whoever had just come in. 

"Hey." Dallon said, looking concerned. Josh sat up straighter turning to face him. Dallon gave Josh a sad smile, rubbing a hand through his hair. His eyes flicking between his two friends. He sighed heavily before saying, "We need to talk about Brendon."


	25. Campfire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG 
> 
> i moved back to uni and yeah ive been messing up my life too much to have time to do anything rip anyway im really sorry if this isnt as good as it could've been, i really tried ????
> 
> i hope youre all well :)

“He’s been acting really off lately.” Dallon explained, hand running through his hair as he paced back and forth in Tyler’s bedroom. “Now he’s saying he’s not welcome at the campfire tonight and he doesn’t think he belongs in the pack and just, a whole bunch of worrying stuff.”

Josh sat at the end of Tyler’s bed, trying to focus on Dallon and not on all the stuff around him, this was the first time he’d ever been in Tyler’s bedroom and everything was just so new and exciting. He furrowed his brow, this wasn’t like his friend. He said as much out loud and Dallon stopped pacing to look at him.

“No, I can feel it, he doesn’t believe half the things he’s saying.” Dallon explained.

“When did this start, that might help explain it?” Tyler said moving from where he’d been leaning in the doorway to sit beside Josh on the bed.

“I don’t…” Josh began quietly but Dallon spoke over him.

“I’m not sure, he’s definitely been acting weird since the hospital.” Dallon explained and Tyler begun asking questions to help Dallon figure out what could’ve made Brendon behave differently.

“I don’t think we should be talking about him like this!” Josh finally spoke up and Dallon and Tyler blinked at him.

Dallon ducked his head guiltily. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“We’re just worried about him.” Tyler smiled apologetically, budging closer to Josh and wrapping an arm around him.

“I know, it’s just, Brendon’s been there for me, he’s dealt with some pretty dark shit I’ve put him through and talking about him behind his back like this- it doesn’t feel right.” Josh explained, looking down at his hands.

Tyler pressed a kiss to his temple and squeezed him closer as comfort.

“I love him with my entire being Josh, I-I promise.” Dallon said, stepping closer to Josh so he would make eye-contact. Josh nodded.

“I know you do. He’s lucky to have someone else who cares.” Josh said with a weak smile.

At the same time Tyler took one of Josh’s hands in his free hand and brought it to his lips. Josh turned to him and blushed, smiling fondly as Tyler kissed his hand again. The sight and Josh’s previous words caused something to click in Dallon’s mind.

Before he could voice his thoughts however, Zack was knocking on the open bedroom door, looking bored.

“Mom said she wants Josh to help her prepare food for tonight.” As soon as he finished speaking he walked off again, Jay scampering down the hallway after him.

Josh looked at Tyler confused, “I think it’s code for she wants to talk to you.” He explained and Josh tried to force down the nerves as he nodded and got up.

Tyler reached out for his hand pulling him down to place a soft kiss to his lips before letting him go.

“She’ll be in the kitchen.” Tyler said and Josh nodded, not really knowing for definite where that was but he left without saying anyway, not wanting to be annoying.

As soon as he was gone, Dallon took his spot sat at the end of the bed.

“This is about Josh.” He said and Tyler furrowed his brow.

“What is?”

“What’s going on with Brendon. Brendon and Josh they only had each other for ages, and when we turned him against his will, he-he lost Josh, and maybe he was too busy adjusting to truly show it, but he wasn’t okay about it. But now that he has Josh back, he likes when you call him for help, he likes that Josh still needs him to talk him down, but recently, you’re getting better and understanding Josh’s needs, and he’s not going to Brendon, he’s going to you.” Dallon rambled, a hand running through his hair and Tyler tried to keep up.

“So you’re saying he’s jealous because Josh talks to me and not him when he’s sad?” Tyler asked and Dallon thought about it.

“Yes, no- I just, at the hospital he was crying Tyler, like whatever happened between Josh and Abigail it really hurt him too, and Josh just went straight to you, he needed you, not Brendon… because that’s what mates do, I know, but whatever he’s bottling up, it’s killing him and I think the only person who can help him is Josh.” Dallon got up and paced as he spoke, clearly only just working things out in his head as he spoke and Tyler’s eyes followed him.

“You don’t think-” Tyler began cautiously, making Dallon freeze to look at him. “Brendon doesn’t have-” Tyler took a deep breath. “Please tell me Brendon wasn’t in love with Josh.”

Dallon’s face fell a little, hurt flashing into his eyes as he considered it before shaking his head. He sat back down and put his head in his hands, sighing. Tyler ran a hand over his back.

“I just want him to tell me how he’s feeling, he’s pushing me away and I don’t understand why. I don’t know what else to do anymore I give up trying to figure it out, he can tell me when he’s ready.” Dallon said and Tyler hummed his agreement.

“Just tell him to come to the campfire tonight.” Tyler said before getting up and Dallon mirrored the action. He nodded and the two boys smiled weakly before heading out of the room, Dallon showing himself out while Tyler went in search of Josh.

“So we’re also in charge of marshmallows for the smores tonight.” Kelly was explaining as Josh stirred cupcake batter with a spoon, she began stacking up bags of the squishy stuff on to the table, causing Josh’s eyes to widen as the pile just continued to grow.

“Michael will go through a whole bag on his own.” Tyler explained, causing Josh’s head to whip around to see him, face breaking out into a smile. “The pack’s pretty big.” He continued, casually strolling over to Josh, dipping his finger into the batter and wiping a little on the tip of Josh’s nose before putting the finger in his mouth and licking it clean.

Josh squeaked in surprise and fumbled with his hands to try to not drop the bowl and reach his nose. Tyler wiped his nose for him, swiping the batter off and eating that too. Kelly huffed.

“How did I manage to raise such a gross child?” She asked playfully and Josh simply went bright red and let her take the bowl from him. “Just get out of my way you two.” She said shooing the two boys out of the kitchen and making Tyler laugh.

When the sun was just beginning to think about setting, Josh arrived at the campfire site in the forest. Tyler held his hand tightly as he led Josh to one of the thick logs that lined the campfire in a circle. Josh smiled when he saw the familiar faces of Tyler’s pack mates, grinning as Jenna approach with a box of donuts. Tyler immediately reached out to take one but she snatched the box away with a growl.

“You can’t have my donuts. Also, chill on the scenting Josh smells off-putting, which I know you did deliberately.” She said before sitting beside Josh and offering him a donut with a wink. Josh smiled but shook his head, politely declining.

“Your loss.” Jenna shrugged before taking a massive bite out of one of the treats. Tyler glared at her suspiciously, pulling Josh closer to himself. “Stop playing big bad alpha literally no one’s buying it.” Jenna rolled her eyes, standing up and taking Josh with her.

Tyler growled and Josh gasped as he was yanked back down into his seat completely bewildered and giving Tyler a look.

“Really?!” He asked and Tyler looked down at his lap sheepishly, muttering an apology.

“I’m gonna introduce Josh to the pack, he’ll be fine. Plus, Head Alpha wants to talk to you.” Jenna said with a softer smile this time, tucking the box of donuts under one arm and taking Josh’s hand with the other.

Josh got up, but immediately turned around, taking Tyler’s face in his hands and kissing him with a smile before turning back to Jenna and letting her guide him away. Tyler smiled to himself a little.

After a long time of socialising, eating and having to go through the same routine of explaining, that yes, he was human and yes, he was mated and yes, Tyler is his mate. It was finally time to sit around and eat smores and get down to the meeting portion of the evening.

Josh had been bounced from pack member to pack member that he’d not had chance to spend much time with Tyler and he was about to sit next to his boyfriend when he was swept up by Kelly, who insisted he sit between her and Maddie on the other side of the circle.

As he sat down Tyler gave him an apologetic look but Josh only smiled back.

“Right so, if everyone is happy to start we shall?” A tall, broad man said, his dark hair, long and tied back and his flannel sleeves rolled up to reveal strong arms covered in tattoos. Josh realised he must be the Head Alpha and was a little shocked, he wasn’t at all what Josh had expected.

The man began listing off news from pack members, one couple who couldn’t come because they’d just had two pups (“he means babies” Kelly had informed Josh), a family who had moved away a few years back had just moved back into the area because their daughter had just presented as an omega. There was more news about the poachers and that most of them had moved away from pack territory since the incident.

Then someone else was clearing their throat and Josh was looking up from where he was subtly trying to stuff a too-hot smore into his mouth.

“So, as you know my uh, my eighteenth birthday is coming up pretty soon and uh, I know that everyday I’m getting bigger, stronger to assume the tough boots, this guy has left me to fill.” Tyler laughed awkwardly, but the pack laughed a little too and it seemed to relax him. “But one thing I know will help is, well most of you met him today but, I brought my mate with me today. His name is Josh and hopefully you’ll welcome him with open arms because the pack is family and well, he’s my everything so it’s kinda important to me. But, uh, yeah that’s all I had to say, thanks and uh, enjoy the smores if Michael hasn’t already cleaned up all the marshmallow.” There was another laugh before Tyler sat down and everyone was breaking off into their own conversations.

Josh smiled widely and got up, dusting off his pants before heading over to Tyler, hugging him tightly. Tyler laughed a little, gesturing for them both to sit down and picking up the blanket he’d been wrapped in before he got up to make a speech. He wrapped it around Josh’s body and Josh smiled, kissing Tyler briefly because he could.

Josh yawned right after and Tyler laughed. “Wow is kissing me really that boring?” He teased and Josh nudged him with his shoulder.

“It’s late!” Josh explained and Tyler kissed his cheek squeezing him closer.

“We’ll leave soon okay?”

“Okay.” Josh said through another yawn, burying his head in Tyler’s shoulder. “I love you.” He mumbled and Tyler squeezed him a little tighter.

“You’re so cute when you’re sleepy.” He said, nose pressed into Josh’s soft curls, lips brushing his hairline before placing a soft kiss there. Tyler took in the feel of Josh’s breath on his neck, the heat of the fire, the smell of earth and smoke and Josh’s shampoo and he felt calm, everything would be okay, as long as he had _this_. He was home and only Josh could do that, make any situation even ones he’d been doing since he was a child infinitely more _special_ more _intimate_. Josh made it home.

Face still pressed into Josh’s hair, Tyler sighed contently.

 “I love you too my little alley cat.”


	26. Brendon's Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres a kinda panic attack at the end and things are kinda heavy but this shouldn't be triggering i just wanted to put a warning anyway.

“Pleaaaseee? For me?” Tyler pleaded pulling his best puppy dog face, bottom lip sticking out in an exaggerated pout. Josh rolled his eyes and finished pouring the coffee someone had ordered.

It was his usual Saturday morning shift at the diner, and he’d only been on the clock for half an hour before Tyler had materialised to ask something of him.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say?” Josh said before picking up his tray and carrying the drinks he’d just prepared over to a family in one of the booths. He groaned when he walked back to his position behind the counter and Tyler was still giving him that desperate face.

With a pointed look, he put out his hand gesturing for something Tyler looked confused before realising what Josh wanted, he handed over his phone with a wide grin. Josh ignored him in favour of using the phone to text Dallon, telling him to make sure Brendon was home when Josh finished his shift.

“Thank you.” Tyler hummed his approval leaning across the counter to kiss Josh’s cheek. Josh stuck his tongue out and moved down the counter to collect food that was ready to go out.

While he was doing so, Tyler swivelled around on his stool bored and waiting for his phone to light up indicating Dallon’s response. He looked up when someone else arrived behind the counter, she looked slightly out of breath, obviously late to start her shift. Tyler furrowed his brow at the sight of the waitress but not because he was confused why she wasn’t Debby. He knew Debby had quit a week ago, what with her wanting to actually enjoy her last summer before she shipped off to college. He was confused because the girl pouring a refill for the old man two stools down was a mated omega, one he knew for a fact was not in his pack.

As Josh passed her he greeted her and she enthusiastically responded.

Tyler grabbed Josh’s sleeve on his way past. “Who’s that?” He asked lowly but he knew even if he’d whispered she’d have heard it clear as day.

“Who Ashley? She’s who they hired to take Debby’s shifts.” Josh replied nonchalantly, shrugging and then moving to grab his notepad off the side as a couple had just walked in and sat down. As he leaned across Tyler watched him, not sure how to let Josh understand his worries, he opened his mouth to speak as Josh began pulling out of his space but his phone buzzed distracting them both.

Both boys looked at it before Tyler picked it up and answered the incoming call.

“Hey Dal.”

Josh gestured to the notepad before heading off to take orders. When he came back Tyler was just wrapping up the conversation.

“Sure, okay. I’ll tell him. See ya.” Tyler said before hanging up his phone. Josh looked at him expectantly.

“Brendon will be in his house by the time you get there, and he said that he would wait outside the house in case Brendon tries to run for it.”

Josh nodded, before this drama he might’ve argued that Brendon wasn’t the type to run away from things but lately he felt like he didn’t know what he was capable of anymore.

Josh was so rushed off his feet, what with the diner always being it’s busiest on Saturday mornings, he didn’t even notice the tense set in Tyler’s shoulders, or the way his eyes followed Ashley as she worked. He almost growled at her when she dropped her pen and Josh picked it up and handed it over. Their hands brushed and Tyler had torn the stack of napkins he’d been packing into holders for Josh in half.

Josh gasped when he saw the mess, but put it down to Tyler being stronger than he thought and simply grabbed the scraps and threw them in the trash.

“Maybe you should go home Ty, my shift ends in like half an hour anyway and then I’m going straight to Bren’s.” He glanced at the clock as he spoke and Tyler nodded begrudgingly. He didn’t want to leave Josh alone with another wolf he didn’t know or trust but he had no way of explaining that to Josh without her overhearing him. With a tender kiss to Josh’s forehead and a promise that Josh text him after he’s talked to Brendon, Tyler headed out of the diner.

He made eye contact with Ashley as he walked out and found his eyes flashed red in warning at her. Thankfully it was too quick for everyone else to notice but Ashley froze, gasping and almost dropping the coffee pot in her hands. She watched Tyler leave but he didn’t look back at her as he pushed out of the diner.

-

When Josh finished his shift, he drove himself over to Brendon’s house. He waited in his car to mentally gather himself. He swiped a hand down his face, exhausted. He’d not spoken to Brendon since two Fridays before, the day of the campfire. He’d chosen to give Brendon some space, given he’d not shown at the campfire and because one of the last things Josh had said to his best friend had been that he was waiting when he was ready to talk. His stubbornness had been the main reason he’d been reluctantly to break first in this unspoken stalemate but Josh knew the tension was starting to bleed into the rest of the pack’s dynamic and only Josh seemed to be the one who could get through to Brendon about his sour attitude, given both Dallon and Tyler had tried and failed to talk to him about it.

Josh sighed heavily, bracing for the coldness he knew was inevitably about to be sent his way from Brendon and got out of his car.

Dallon was the one to answer the door surprisingly and at the sight of Josh he silently stepped aside gesturing down the hall in silent explanation for where Brendon was. Without another word Dallon left the house, shutting the door behind himself leaving Josh alone in the hallway.

Brendon called out Dallon’s name in confusion and Josh took a deep breath before heading further into the house to confront his best friend.

“He’s such a traitor.” Brendon said as a way of greeting, not even looking up from where he was sat on the couch watching TV. Josh was about to ask how he knew it was him, but then he remembered Brendon could probably smell him a mile off. He frowned, folding his arms and leaning against the doorframe.

“Oh so he is speaking to me.” Josh said in response.

Brendon gave him a guilty look as he turned around to see Josh.

“Sorry.” He said sheepishly. Josh grunted some kind of acceptance before finally walking into the den and sitting on the other couch that was perpendicular to the one Brendon was sat on. Brendon turned the TV off and shifted to rest his elbows on his knees as he rubbed his face.

“What’s going on Bren? I really don’t understand what happened? Dallon thinks it’s to do with something that happened at the hospital, Tyler thinks you’re in love with me.” Brendon’s head snapped up to look at Josh, expression wild and borderline angry, it threw Josh a little but he carried on speaking. “Just be honest with me, you’re my best friend Brendon come on. I lost you once, don’t make me go through that again… I’m not- I can’t do that again.” Josh pleaded and Brendon’s expression softened. He swallowed hard.

“You can.” He said hesitantly. “You don’t need me, you have Tyler.”

“Is that what this is about? Because I want to tell my boyfriend my problems?” Josh asked.

“It’s not- Of course you tell Tyler what’s wrong, but you could still-” Brendon trailed off, huffing with frustration, he sounded stupid and he didn’t want to voice his feelings anymore.

“Still what? Talk to you? I do, Brendon! You’re the only person who knows everything about me? I don’t understand.” Josh pressed and Brendon shook his head.

“That was before…” Brendon began rubbing his face hard enough to turn his cheeks red.

Josh waited for him to elaborate, feeling the tension in the air thicken and threaten to choke him. He didn’t understand why this was turning so sour so fast.

“Josh, I know. I know everything, I know I do because sometimes I can’t forget it. There was a point in my life where I spent every waking minute waiting for you to break, do you realise how hard that is? To watch someone, you love - _like a brother_ ” he stressed the last part through gritted teeth, an answer to Tyler’s question. “Destroy themselves? God, Josh, it hurt so fucking bad to watch you, to just know I couldn’t do anything except clean your wounds and pick you off the floor before you choked. All while forcing myself not to grieve too?” Brendon said, finally looking up from where he’d previously been speaking to the floor.

“You’re not the only one who lost someone Josh.” Brendon said frustratedly, eyes welling with tears. “He was a father to me when mine left, I practically grew up in your family Josh, and I never once got to say goodbye because I wasn’t selfish enough to do that to you!” Brendon said. “You’re not the only one who’s hurting!” Brendon stood up then, his heart beating a mile a minute as he finally popped the cork on the bottle he’d buried so deep within himself.

Josh flinched at his words, but not because of the words, his eyes filled with tears too but he picked a spot on the wall to the side of Brendon and stared at it, jaw tight as he refused to cry.

Brendon looked guiltily down at his feet, hands stuffing into his pockets but he continued to speak, blinking away a lose tear. The room was so quiet and tense he almost wondered if he’d needed his enhanced hearing to pick up the sound the tear made as it dripped onto the carpet.

“For months the only thing our friendship consisted of was me praying to whatever God would listen that you didn’t die Josh, and that’s not healthy now I look back on it. I shouldn’t have ignored my own emotions to protect yours, it was dangerous.

“For a while I was happy to see that, I still had a role in your life even if it was just that I was needed by you, Tyler couldn’t always help you and I felt like that was my purpose and it was so second nature I was happy to just take what I could get. That’s not healthy Josh… uh, my outlook on it, I mean. And uh.

“Then when we were at the hospital, and seeing Abigail like that, I don’t know, she’s my family too, or at least I deluded myself into believing she was, but you went straight to Tyler and not only did I feel rejected… I just- it was like, when I realised he was making you happy, smile right after something like that, I felt like- like every time I struggled to get through to you before was like a sign, I’m not good at helping you. I really kinda fucked me up.”

Silence hung heavy between the pair, but Brendon couldn’t help the sigh of relief that escaped him, he felt like he wanted to go for a run and find somewhere to scream but at the same time he felt free in much the same sense. The bottle was empty and he’d thrown it out to sea, never to return.

“Why take it out on Tyler and the pack then?” Josh finally spoke up; his voice was hoarse and he refused to stop staring glassy eyed at nothing in particular.

“I don’t know, I didn’t mean to -I just, I needed space from things.”

“From me, you mean.” Josh said bluntly and Brendon winced.

“I needed time to mourn my losses.”

“What losses exactly?” Josh pushed.

“I needed to find out who was when I stopped deluding myself into believing I was still a Dun, or- ever was- I guess.”

Josh finally looked at him, eyes fierce but still threatening to drown with the tears they were holding back.

“Come with me.” Josh said harshly and Brendon was thrown by the sudden change in tone and subject. He almost didn’t move when Josh stood up abruptly and began walking out of the house. Confused but curious he followed Josh all the way to the front door, Josh stood silently with the front door open, waiting for Brendon to grab his keys and shoes.

Jaw set tight, expression angry Josh told Brendon to get in his car and shut up. Brendon had never been on the receiving end of a pissed off Josh before and it was something he decided he didn’t like, he still didn’t understand how Tyler had managed to fall in love with Josh when this was how he’d treated him at the beginning of their friendship.

Josh pulled out his phone before he put his key in the ignition.

“I want all three of you in the living room when I get home in five, we have something important to talk about. If not I’m telling mom about all your sleepovers with your boyfriend.” Josh hung up and started the car. Brendon stared at him in shock, like he’d never seen Josh before, he almost asked what the fuck was going on but Josh shot him a look like ice that said he’d already compartmentalised most of his human emotions because of the fight and Brendon quickly averted his gaze out the window.

Josh’s knuckles were white on the steering wheel as he drove and Brendon was slow to realise he was driving them to Josh’s house.

Before he opened the front door, he turned to Brendon pointing a finger at him. “Wait in the hallway out of sight, listen in but don’t make a sound understand.”

Brendon nodded, still completely baffled and silently followed Josh inside. He lingered by the door when Josh fixed him with a look before heading in to the room by himself.

Josh turned off the TV, causing Ashley to snap but she immediately shrunk into the couch at the cold expression on Josh’s face.

“Well, we’re all here what’s up?” She said after a moment of silence. Josh surveyed his three younger siblings before taking a deep breath.

“What’s your opinion on Brendon?” Josh asked bluntly. Ashley looked at her brother confused.

“I love Brendon!” Abigail said cheerily. “He promised to by Mr. Snuggles a girlfriend.” She added, the mention of the stuffed bunny she still slept with sometimes when her bear wasn’t enough.

Josh couldn’t help but smile at how innocent she still was, despite getting older she was still the baby of the family and it filled Josh with fondness, Jordan had matured drastically after their father diagnosis and while Josh still loved his brother it was nice still feeling like at least one of the Dun’s got to keep their childhood.

“Honestly?” Jordan piped up, distracting Josh.

“Please.” Josh prompted.

“I miss him, I feel like he doesn’t hang out with us anymore. When dad was around he used to like, live here, now he won’t even drop by just to play video games with us.”

Josh gave Jordan an understanding and sad smile, that Jordan returned.

Josh turned to Ashley then. “What’s this about?” She asked instead of an answer.

“I just, I want to understand how you guys view him, I want to know if you consider him family.” Josh prompted and Ashley looked shocked.

“Of course he is. We grew up together, he’s my big brother too.” Ashley said without hesitation.

“I still wish mom had listened to me when I asked her to adopt Brendon instead of you.” Jordan teased and Josh poked his tongue out.

“Very funny but everyone knows you’re the one who’s adopted.” He teased back and Jordan threw a pillow at him.

“No one is adopted have you looked at us, we’re quite obviously related.” Ashley huffed and the three eldest Dun kids laughed.

“What about you Bumble?” Josh asked and Abigail thought about it for a second.

“Does being awesome and looking after me make someone a good big brother?” Abigail asked and Josh considered it.

“I guess it would.”

“Then Brendon is a really great big brother.” She smiled, nodding her head in approval at the statement.

“Brendon?” Josh called out. And all three kids looked confused before realising Brendon was entering the room behind them. “Brendon doesn’t think he’s family. Thank you for proving him wrong.” He said gesturing to his best friend.

Abigail got up, calling out an excited “Brenny!” and ran towards him. Brendon dropped to his knees, watery-eyed and embraced the little girl. Ashley got off the couch, walking on her knees the short distance to wrap around them both and Jordan was quick to do the same.

As they embraced Josh watched on, making eye contact with Brendon who mouthed a thank you to him. Josh nodded, gesturing with his hands that he was gonna head out somewhere, giving Brendon time to play catch up. As he passed the huddle he heard Ashley whispering reassurances into Brendon’s ear and he hoped that meant that Brendon would talk to Ashley like he’d done when Josh had hit rock bottom.

A weird tightness settled in Josh’s ribcage and he was shaking as he tried to get the key into his car ignition. He drove until he reached the dirt drive that started up to Tyler’s house, pulling along it he saw someone come out of the front of the house to greet him.

At the sight of Tyler, Josh instantly pulled to a stop, he tried to control his breathing before, turning the car off. Josh pushed out of the car, hurrying to lock it before running as fast his unsteady legs could carry him, right into Tyler’s arms.

He practically crashed into Tyler’s body, but Tyler had been expecting it and caught him easily, holding onto him. Josh instantly broke down clinging to his boyfriend as tight as possible, if it was possible to bruise Tyler (his accelerated healing usually made such a feat impossible for more than a second) he knew his fingers would’ve. He felt dizzy, like everything was spinning continuously and he couldn’t find ant stable footholds as he sobbed. Tyler ran cool fingertips through his hair and tried his best to calm him.

When he realised Josh was struggling to breathe he quickly picked him up bridal style and carried him into his house and took him into his bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them.

He sat on the bed, about to put Josh down but Josh held on, eyes squeezed shut and chin tucked to his chest. He was spinning still and he felt like he was going to pass out.

“Josh baby, I need you to take a deep breath for me, please? Can you just tilt your head back and take a deep breath? I promise it will help?” Tyler rubbed a hand along Josh’s arm, coaxing him to relax a little. Josh tried to force the tension out of his body and desperately gulped in real air, almost choking on it. “That’s it, you did so good, I’m so proud of you. One more for me?” Tyler asked softly and Josh did his best to take another big breath. He squeezed his arms around Tyler a bit tighter with the effort and as he coughed again he started sobbing again.

“I should never have asked you to talk to Brendon.” Tyler said when Josh was a little calmer and not shaking so much.

“It’s my f-fault.” Josh choked out into Tyler’s shoulder.

“What is?”

“It’s my fault because,” Josh hiccupped between every few words, and Tyler’s heart broke a little with each one from how distraught Josh seemed to be. “I’m the one who-who hurt h-him.”

Josh began crying and Tyler decided talking about this was a bad idea in his current state, he wasn’t calm enough yet to be clear of a panic attack and Tyler cared more about that than getting an explanation as to what caused it right then.

He carefully pulled Josh’s shoes off, toeing out of his own then he shimmied back onto the bed, lying them down with Josh’s arms still hooked tightly around his neck. Tyler tangled their legs together and rubbed Josh’s back. He peppered soft kisses over Josh’s face and brushed tears off his cheeks with the back of gently swiping finger.

He blew ever so gently onto Josh’s eyelids, drying his tears and cooling his cheeks, something that they’d discovered calmed Josh immensely even though rather odd. Whenever Josh felt like he was losing control of his breathing he pressed his lips to Tyler’s as though he could breathe for him. Tyler continued to hold him close until he relaxed and fell to sleep, having exhausted himself too much to keep his heavy sore eyelids open any longer. Tyler watched over him protectively, almost growling when Zack opened his bedroom door to see where he was. Zack whimpered and immediately shut the door leaving.

Tyler wasn’t sure why but as he mapped out the position of every light freckle dusted over Josh’s nose, committing them each to memory, he mentally said a prayer, begging whatever force willing to listen to keep Josh safe from harm, to take the emotional pain he was always having to fight away.  Sometimes Tyler thought that would be the one and only thing he wanted more than Josh himself, but Josh’s mental wellbeing and happiness and safety. He cursed the world for taking such a thing away from the most precious and loving boy he’d ever met, but he knew all too well, that life wasn’t fair and sometimes the best people fell the hardest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh okay but like sorry if this is shit??
> 
> pls ask me if things are confusing just so i make sure to cover them next chapter when i try to sorta clean up the fallout of this chapter??
> 
> its been so long im so sorry but fuck im struggling lately
> 
> life is happening too fast idk how to get a grip rip
> 
> ALSO okay so the titles of chapters are places (unless backstory) so this title is like,, brendon's house cos u know u say like "lets go back to my place" .... but also like the chapter deals with his like place in the world or like his place in the dun fam and i thought that was quiet cool idk im a loser anyways 
> 
> i love you! i hope youre having a great day, thank you for all the love and support and comments! makes my day!


	27. Backyard

Josh blinked his eyes open, his head felt too heavy for his shoulders and a sharp intense pain ripped straight through him like a shiver as he tried to lift it. He muffled his cry as he adjusted, finally blinking back the blur in his vision to see he was sat in the forest. He tried to move again, grunting, before realising his hands were tied down to the chair he was sat in. He tried to move his feet but they were trapped too.

Panic flooded through him, waking him up faster than anything ever had before. He looked around himself to see there was no one around, he’d been left out in the cold. He struggled again, but his wrists had rubbed raw on the ropes and it stung too much.

Josh took deep breaths through his nose as he tried not to panic, squeezing his eyes tight and gritting his teeth as his body told him how much everything ached.

“Okay come on Josh, _think_ , what happened?” He whispered to himself, desperately trying to figure out what the hell was going on…

 

**\- one month prior -**

 

Josh pulled his sunglasses off as he stepped out of the car. The sun was beating down on his back as he walked into Tyler’s house. The door was open to let the occasional light breeze through. Josh knocked on it and was surprised when Mrs Joseph poked her head into the hallway.

“They’re out the back honey.” She smiled before disappearing again and Josh smiled. Heading through the house and out into the yard.

The backyard was more like a meadow, the grass thick and tall, little flowers poking out every so often. Two wolves skipped and hopped through the grass. The one was dark brown, so dark it looked almost black and the other had soft golden brown fur, they were slightly smaller than the first but both were clearly young, given Tyler was so much bigger. Tyler sat near-by, Jay dancing excited circles around him as he watched the two other wolves chase one another and play fight protectively.

There was a chocolate brown wolf lay in the grass panting, that he knew was Maddy. She had found an area where the grass had been flattened a lot and Josh sat beside her. She looked up at him startled but remained lay down.

Josh crossed his legs and watched as Jay tried to join the other wolves. Without thinking Tyler began stroking the wolf pup by his side. She froze at first but then relaxed into the human’s touch. Tyler noticed his mate had arrived and began making his way over.

He walked between where the two wolves he didn’t recognise where standing, the bigger one licking the youngers face with affection. They were forced to separate and the bigger one growled at Tyler which made Josh chuckle and realise it must’ve been Zack and his mate Tatum.

Tyler made a sound at Josh, nudging the hand stroking Maddy away and Josh finally realised what he’d done, eyes widening and a blush overcoming him.

“Sorry Maddy!” He said but Tyler whined at him, making him look at him instead. He rubbed Josh’s chin with the top of his head before circling and trying to sit in his lap. Josh laughed as he was almost knocked backwards, Tyler had a habit of forgetting he was way too big for Josh’s short ass to do this kinda stuff.

With a lick of apology to Josh’s cheek, he lay down, resting his head in Josh’s lap instead. At the sight of Tyler’s wolf form sleeping on him Josh couldn’t tell if it was the sun that made him feel warm inside or something else.

It didn’t take long for Tyler to fall asleep, the warm sun beating down on them all as the four younger wolves playing with one another, hopping through the flowers and rolling around. Tyler’s soft ears twitched, as did his wet nose and big paws. His tail twitched like a cats and Josh smiled, smoothing a gentle hand through his fur. Pure contentment overcame Josh, sure it wasn’t conventional to play with wolves on a daily basis or for those wolves to also have human lives but it didn’t matter, to Josh, he saw their personalities in their wolf-selves obviously but he felt a distinction between the wolves and the people. He was hardly the boy who ran with wolves or however the saying went, but it was nice to pretend, to escape from “reality” for a bit. It makes him thing how even more freeing it must feel to actually be a wolf not to just spend time with them. He looks back at Tyler’s sleep-twitching nose and thinks about why he refuses to turn him, he’s glad in a way but sometimes, he does feel like he’s been left out of the club, especially at times like this where there’s only wolves and he has no way to even know what they’re saying to one another. Just as he considers a way to talk to Tyler about it all someone whistles and all the pups stop and look, Tyler is up and looking at where the sound came from.

Kelly is stood at the back door, “time to come inside!” She shouts and the pups immediately trip over themselves and one another to get back inside. Tyler huffs, indicating for Josh’s to come inside too and Josh nods, dusting grass off his shorts and walking inside.

The kids are all missing, obviously scattered to their bedrooms to get changed, except Jay who’s kneading his paws and panting, looking up at his mom expectantly.

“You know the rules Jay, only humans get to eat.” Jay whines but Kelly berates him. “This isn’t a negotiation, now hurry up and get changed we have a guest.”

Tyler nudges at Josh’s leg, making him keep moving before he can sit at the kitchen table. Kelly laughs and hands him two bottles of water.

Josh takes them with a smile and follows Tyler up the stairs. He turns his head when Tyler turns back to his human form, and Tyler laughs.

“You’ve seen me naked before Josh, in fact more than once.” He teases as he pulls on some boxers and basketball shorts and muscle tee.

Josh goes even more red, refusing to look still. “Shut up.” He mutters but Tyler only lets out another loud laugh and the sound makes Josh’s stomach flip.

He gasps when Tyler pulls him down onto the bed and rolls on top of him. “I missed you.” He says and Josh scoffs.

“Why do I feel like you missed being in my pants.” He teases, quirking an eyebrow and Tyler frowns.

“I mean I did a bit but, I’m an eighteen-year-old boy so, it’s like, expected by society and stuff.” Tyler throws back but Josh doesn’t really laugh. “Josh,” Tyler whines burying his face in his neck and biting. Josh gasps and smacks his shoulder playfully. Tyler grins as he pulls back before pressing a gentle kiss to Josh’s cheek. “I miss you” he kisses his other cheek, “every second” he kisses josh’s chin, “of every” he kisses josh’s forehead, “single day” he kisses josh’s nose “that we’re apart.” He promises and Josh’s heart needs a minute to chill out quite frankly, he’s scared it’s going to fling itself at Tyler.

“Good answer.” Josh pouts and Tyler bites his lip to stifle a laugh. He rolls them over pulling Josh onto him but he lets Josh be the one to initiate the intense make out session that follows.

 _Maybe humans carried their own kind of escapism too_ , Josh thinks as his nails graze down Tyler’s sides under his shirt.

 

***

 

The next day, Josh woke up to the hum of Tyler’s gravelly morning voice as he spoke lowly on the phone to someone. He was too sleepy to pay any attention, but he smiled when he felt Tyler shift over, pulling him into his chest and kissing his forehead.

“I don’t know… I’ll tell him… yeah… he needs time… listen it doesn’t matter now just- yeah okay. Bye.” Tyler said and Josh frowned.

“Were you talking about me?” He mumbled into Tyler’s shirt, bunching it up in his fist.

“Only with Brendon, he was worried when you didn’t come home last night. You turned your phone off.” Tyler said into his hair, one hand running up and down Josh’s spine.

“It must’ve died, sorry.”

Tyler sighed and shifted Josh closer. “Don’t need to apologise baby.”

Josh nodded and buried his nose into Tyler’s shoulder, desperate to get as much cuddling done as possible before the real world sank in again.

After a while of soft silence, Tyler spoke again. “Were you alright last night when I went to the pack meeting, I’m sorry I left you alone, but you were fast asleep when I got back.”

“Yeah I was okay, thank you for letting me stay here.” Josh said tilting his head up to look at Tyler. They kissed briefly, smiling a little as they pulled away.

“Of course.”

“What was the meeting about, anyway?” Josh said through a sleepy yawn.

Tyler chuckled a bit. “Your co-worker Ashley and her mate are joining the pack.”

Josh sat up then, shocked. “Ashley’s a wolf?”

“Yeah, it’s why she moved to town, they were looking for a pack, their old one separated.” Tyler explained and Josh tried to process the information.

“Is there anyone left that I know that isn’t a wolf in this town?” He asked and Tyler chuckled, pulling him closer so he could rest his cheek on the top of Josh’s head.

“Your family?” He offered and Josh laughed, he wasn’t sure why it was so funny, but he was overcome with giggles at the ridiculousness of it all, and the fact that, probably at this point the only non-wolf folk he knew was probably related to him. Tyler laughed too, Josh’s happiness was infectious like that.

After the laughter died down and the pair had soaked up the comforting presence of one another Josh spoke up. Tyler was running his fingers through Josh’s curls as he lay with his head on his chest and Tyler’s other hand ran up and down Josh’s spine gently.

“Have you ever thought about turning me?” He asks cautiously and Tyler looks down at him with a furrowed brow.

“Where’s this suddenly coming from?” He asked.

“I don’t know, I’ve just been thinking about it, I guess?” Josh said, shifting over so that he could lie face to face with Tyler. “I mean if we’re mates, then that kinda means I’m meant to be a wolf too, doesn’t it?” Josh asked and Tyler’s gaze shifted away as he refused to make eye contact.

“Not necessarily.” He said but Josh squinted at him, knowing he was being stubborn.

“What if you die? What then Josh? Then I lose everything and not only that but it would’ve been my own fault. Don’t ask me to do that, please.” Tyler finally said after a heavy silence, eyes squeezing shut. Josh was quick to put his hands on his face and pull Tyler’s forehead down until it pressed against his own.

“I’m not asking you to do it Ty, it’s okay. I’m here, I’m safe, I’m alive because of you it’s okay.” Josh soothed and Tyler relaxed a little.

“I’m sorry.” He said weakly, opening his eyes, but Josh shook his head, rubbing their noses together.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, can I kiss you?” He said and Tyler closed the gap cautiously, pressing their lips together for a lingering kiss. They smile when they pull apart and Tyler pulls Josh in for a hug.

Josh doesn’t know what the feeling in his chest is, but he hopes it leaves before his anxiety latches onto it. So he distracts himself with letting Tyler kiss him senseless instead.


End file.
